Got referred to as them/they at work today

I mean, I don't work in an office, but I don't think a member of HR has the power to bring policy in for the banter.

If you think the person in HR came up with this themselves, you are deluded.

Maybe the person is just following company policy. Or maybe the person is a believer and is choosing to embrace something that hasn't actually been imposed. I find it hard to believe many companies would go as far as making it mandatory for employees to call all other individual employees 'they' when they are referring to a specific person.

BIsexuality and gender are two completely different entities, though.

Personally I wouldn’t think too much about it just now as it might be a figure of speech rather than anything more.

I do use they both verbally and in emails when I know the sex of the person, indeed I used it on the phone tonight to my mum about a sibling - “no idea what they’re up to.”

It maybe something as simple as that but keep an eye out just in case it’s a bit more.

Non binary certainly appears to be a trend. I imagine that I am not alone in noticing that entire friendship groups discover that they are all non binary at around the same time, in the case of some young people I know they all identified as bisexual the year before they all realised that in fact they were non binary. Now they (plural) talk about men and non men. They (plural) are of course non binary non men.

sounds like an email referring to you between two other parties.

they / them is gender neutral and I wouldn't personally have any problem with someone who doesn't know for sure what my preferred pronoun is.

It's not a trend.

Is there a specific age then, where you realise you're non binary?

you can have sex and vote at 16, so does all of the self realisation happen on the 11th hour of your 15th year?

"woke twerp"

Nice.

If you think the person in HR came up with this themselves, you are deluded.

In the real world, we take our orders. Unlike on MN wher ethey claim that in my position they would march up to young children and tell them exactly what they thought.

Non binary at thirteen??? How on earth can a 13yr old know they're 'non-binary?!'

When is this trend going to be over??

The trouble is, if your position (like mine) is "I don't want to state my pronouns. I don't believe in gender woo, and think it's ridiculous when people act like it's literal violence if you call them by the 'wrong' pronoun"..... then getting shirty when people call you by the wrong pronoun seems a bit hypocritical.

I know, I know - we all know who's a woman and who's a man and we've all been perfectly capable of knowing which sex-based pronouns to use since forever, but if some woke twerp in HR insists they can't tell whether you're a man or a woman, what can you do (other than actually give in and tell them which pronouns to use!)?

Right, so you don't choose them then.

No, just the ones who thought they (oh i used it again - but entirely accidentally in the sense that its plural) thought they were awfully clever in ignoring a request and then were surprised to find that they were given no say. Imagine. The person should have course have used their mystical powers to work out what OP wanted
That's funny, most of us have been using these "mystical powers" all our lives to work out whether someone was a man (he/his) or a woman (she/her). Our mystical powers also tell us the pronouns normally associated with anyone who is trans or NB, but we politely defer to the alternate ones they want to use if they ask us.

Can one not use pronouns if theyre down to earth?

when creating online systems it is easier to apply they/them to all users than to ask for and apply the pronouns of individuals

I've noticed this with my kid's report cards from the school. The teachers make them up but they have specific phrases they are supposed to use, and do a lot of copy/paste. Weirdly they don't all use they all the time, I get them with half the pronouns as she and half they.

Did you bother to read the post I was responding to? It suggested that because of the increased usage due to gender ideology, there was a more general change happening in language even when that is not part of the reasoning.

I'm not sure why you think I am saying biological sex isn't important, I said no such thing.

Incidentally, I would use they for a someone I know.

I might say I saw your neighbour the other day, they were telling me...don't know why really.

I agree with that, actually.

How does one identify a they from a they, if you will?

If OP's awkward non commital childish ways make her (presumably) a they, is this not in turn offensive to someone who identifies as a they (and isnt awkward and childish?) Interesting thought.

I'm not a fan on the basis that it might out someone. You might have someone in the workplace who is trans or gender fluid and doesn't want to discuss it yet, and they have to lie or be outed.

No, just the ones who thought they (oh i used it again - but entirely accidentally in the sense that its plural) thought they were awfully clever in ignoring a request and then were surprised to find that they were given no say. Imagine. The person should have course have used their mystical powers to work out what OP wanted

Is everyone at your workplace now addressed as 'they' in emails? I'd take it may be a blanket approach which I'd ignore. I'd be watching however if unisex toilets follow, and they are certainly something I am not comfortable with ..

I agree with that

Singular 'they' has a sensible pedigree, to be fair, when addressing people of both sexes collectively.

For example, if I organised a school trip, I might say, in an email home to parents, something like: 'Your child needs to ensure they have checked the kit list...we suggest that they bring X amount of pocket money...if they are being collected from the airport rather than being dropped back to school, please inform Ms Bloggs' etc etc. It's a reasonable alternative to 'he/she' when you're writing to & about a mixed sex group, & arguably less clumsy to read.

Addressed to an individual, it's an entirely different thing. I do get that.

I would tend to let it go. My argument is very much that pronouns are the business of the speaker, & no one gets to control how they (hmm) are referred TO. I think the only consistent position on this is that if someone chooses to 'they' everyone in sight, crack on. If I chose to object to that & say 'no, I want you to be calling me she/her' then I'm buying in.

It's opting in to the pronoun nonsense. I won't have my language policed, & nor will I play along by stating pronouns that I want other people to use for me, so if that means I get called 'they', whatever.

I suspect that it'll go one of two ways. Either a backlash & everyone refuses to use non intuitive pronouns & reverts to basing them on sex, or we all become accustomed to universal 'they' as a polite professional standard.

I can't see either of these greatly pleasing people who feel strongly about 'their' pronouns, fwiw.

Well it was used quite a lot in the 70s and 80s by the older generations who liked to pretend they couldn't see a person with long hair and make up was male 😀

They has been used in singular form since Shakespeare times

One of those factoids people keep bringing up as a "grammar" counter-argument, along the lines of validating split infinitives.

But it omits the fact that it is conventionally used for indeterminate/generic individuals. How many examples are there of it being used for a specific known person of known sex, rather than some indeterminate person?

That's the main jarring point for me - if I see a "they" there's an implication that it can't be referring the known individual of known sex that was just identified. If there's no generic individual being discussed, I'm left looking for plural referants.

It might feel off but that's only because we are fixated on ( unnecessary) sex distinction in pronouns