'GC is a slur"

In your daughter's opinion, your beliefs are transphobic. That is her opinion, calling yourself something else isn't going to change that.

Ps @IcakethereforeIam I must get someone to show me how to paragraph. It's embarrassing 😳

Was talking to a young gay lad recently. He says he is a gay man with no gender expression. In his opinion gender is ' all that girls should be cute ,boys should be tough bollocks so why wouldn't I be critical of it'. Cheered me up no end.

Back in the Seventies being a Woman's Libber was used as a slur. A strident woman who went round in a boiler suit was the caricature. I think that's when Feminist took over. Gender really wasn't an issue then. It's taken over in the last few years.

I didn't know what GC was until recently, but it will do until a better term comes into use, or until this Gender nonsense stops.

I’ve no problem with GC whatsoever. I am critical of gender, because it’s sexist bollocks.

When we're talking to our kids do we need to label ourselves? I think they're savvy enough to apply whatever label they want to us. Even 'mother' has bad connotations now, if you're inclined to think that way.

It's not about the gender confused kids, who are overwhelmingly likely to be female. They're not going to rape anyone. Even the boys though I think are vulnerable and victims of this in the main.

I'm a good, compassionate person, I think. My kids know that about me even if they also think I'm GC, a TERF, transphobic, or whatever. I think that's why they struggle because if I'm the kind, loving mum they've known all their lives how can I also be a hateful bigot?

Incidentally, I'm still getting paragraphs. Apologies, if this is a block of text for others.

I think there is a poor understanding of what a slur is. In this context a slur is* a derogatory or insulting term applied to particular group of people*

The term GC in itself is neither derogatory nor insulting

I like this too, gender critical never seems to make much sense when I'm taking to people about this nonsense.

I think we should own it.
However the most important element is women's rights and safety.
Does your daughter realise that it is most likely to be a middle aged man that she comes across in the women's toilets?

I wouldn't bring up rapists etc, as true as the argument is it's too easily brushed aside by 'well not all transpeople are like that'. If she already has LGBTQ+ friends I'd focus on the things that affect everyone by losing sex based protections - namely sex attraction.

How does she feel that any gay/lesbian/bi (and hetero) classmates can no longer be same-sex (or opposite-sex) attracted because this is inherently transphobic?

Yes.

Say to your daughter its a damaging ideology, kids are being lied to, print out some stuff about the Lupron class action in America. And then say you are here to talk always but you won't be silenced by lies and nonsense. And leave it at that. You don't need to persuade her, and it's OK to disagree. Don't make it a big issue between you both.
I don't have a teenager, so that may feel wrong for you.

'RA' - Reality Ambassador?
But in actuality, I am critical of gender, so being GC sits fine with me. I can also be other things, (affirming of reality, rationalist, skeptic) alongside.

Maybe move it away from anything that affects her friends, and explicitly support her friends as the nice youngsters they almost certainly are. My issue isn't with any individuals, it's with use of language, safeguarding, stereotypes and just actual, you know, reality.

So lots of wondering and worrying- I wonder why so many girls feel like that now? I just worry whether there's a downside to having drug treatment or surgery on an essentially healthy body. I really worry about this business that boys who are effeminate must need to change their body to look more female. I wonder why boys like that aren't being supported to embrace themselves as flamboyant gay men?

And most of all, lots of worrying about the regressiveness of all the gendered attitudes in society as a whole (clothes, stereotypes etc). It's damaging for all of us, even disregarding the way it feeds the trans confusion of youngsters.

Far better to be seen as funny old fashioned mum who thinks manly men can wear eyeliner and frills and look great, like they did in the 70s and 80s.

GC is getting bad press because it is cutting through. It's not understood by the majority but it's sometimes surprising how widely it is known about.

So now a set of rational ideas has a name, the name and the related ideas are getting recognition, and many of the people coming to the name and the related ideas say "but of course that makes sense to me", and the proposal is that we must now abandon that "brand recognition", and end up with a set of competing names with people coming to this for the first time seeing arguments about names rather than substances. Right-oh.

Of course you're not going to tell her her friends might be rapists. Are you? Is this real?

Listen to her. She might even persuade you. Would that be so frightening?

I know gender is pretty meaningless and at worst can be harmful but in fact I do think the fact that there are so many teens trying on the ideology is diluting it and hopefully dating it so it will pass. I'd just leave it alone and try to be positive about women's rights.

It means gender critical

it used to mean exactly that, you were critical of gender

now some people use it as short hand for ‘obviously hates transpeople and does not want them to exist’

Just tell her you believe in and will always fight for Women’s Rights.

If she eyerolls and talks about twaw, just calmly say you don’t agree, that women and men are separate sexes and you don’t believe that their gender expression, whilst important to them, alters that basic fact.
Hopefully the idea that you are critical of gender might slide under her teen radar…

Changing the name is pointless. GC is only a 'slur' if used that way by the people who disagree with being gc. And those people will have no desire to use any new term you choose for it.

Changing the name will not make your dc change their mind about you being transphobic. They think gc beliefs are inherently transphobic. Calling it something else won't help.

I dislike it as a label. It becomes a slur as you say, with no critical analysis. Sadly feminist is also seen like this - it's just misogyny.

It was a lovely mner who taught me about using "womens liberation movement" and womens lib instead.

Makes more sense and communicates the issues we are trying to communicate.

Woman is a slur now.

*That lump of text had lots of paragraphs!! Fed up with the site changes!!

You can call yourself - identify as - anything you want really. You don't have to call yourself GC if it doesn't work for you.

You could say that you are pro the rights of women and girls. Don't talk about trans issues, talk about women and girls - if that's what you feel is important (I'm guessing do, as you're here!). Focus on sex and just don't enter debates about gender because there's no point anyway: you will not convince your DD that the kids she knows and likes are in the same category as Karen White (due to self-ID), even though the ideology they follow puts them there.

It may be helpful re the hurt feelings to remember that the healthy physiological development of teens includes separation from the family unit and aligning with peers. And while that can involve rejecting home values, they do form a crucial part of the tapestry of her life. So there's no reason to hide your views, just don't push them on her and don't expect her to agree.

You can teach her though that she doesn't need to agree with you. She doesn't need to understand your lived experiences due to being a woman, but she does need to respect it and your right to view things differently and not resort to name calling. You do not support transphobia and will not tolerate it in your house. If she has NB/trans friends you will treat them with the same respect as anybody else. But you will not be pushed into lies: biological sex is a reality that (if not, why hasn't she identified out of monthly bleeding and cramps).

The saddest thing about all this - or one of the sad things - is that many of these girls are likely to change their minds once they're older. Believing that males who identify as females are some kind of eunuchs is a view that will undoubtedly be shattered in horrible ways that most women understand all too well. In away it's a good sign when our daughters are naive enough about the world to believe this nonsense because it means we've done a good job (and been lucky too) to be able to protect them from the reality of male violence until now.

I’d go with a don’t be silly. I fully support your friends wearing what they like, calling themselves what they like, living their life. Being gender critical means I don’t think any of that has naff all to do with what sex you are. I believe sex only matters in a very few situations and gender shouldn’t affect anything at all. What do you think gender should affect and why?

I was gender critical before it had anything to do with the trans issue, so I'm not going to stop calling myself that just because a bunch of people don't understand what it means. I don't agree that you have to conform to a bunch of socially constructed behaviours and expectations simply as a result of being born a particular sex, and haven't done so since last century. I reject the more recent idea that these socially constructed behaviours and expectations are somehow more important than the biological reality that they are constructed upon, and that not conforming to those behaviours means you aren't actually the sex that you were born as. We have specific needs as a result of the nature of our bodies, and you can't just identify out of those.