The Assassination of Amber Heard

Excellent post BudapestDreams
Sorry that you’ve had to go through all of that MiscFeminista

@Aspiringmatriarch thank you 💜I pass that message to you too @TooTiredToSleepRightNow (your name couldn't be more relatable)

When Amber said today that JD exactly proved the title of op ed(or all of it better said)she wrote and that he's suing her for, I felt some weird satisfaction. You couldn't disagree with that, as she later affirmed she did not want this and wants to move on with her life. I'm thinking. That was definitely a highlight for me, I wonder if it was as impactful on jury

Sorry for what you’re going through. This is exactly how I feel too.

@Miscfeminista I'm so sorry you're in this situation. From what I understand about abusive relationships it's so common to not feel like you're 'enough' of a victim or to blame yourself for reacting/acting out. I think it can take a long time to untangle all that and must be incredibly difficult while you're still in the middle of it, because you're made to question yourself all the time. It must take a terrible toll on your self-image which in turn makes it harder to see the way forward.

I hope you know there are lots of people out there who do support and believe victims (and not just the supposedly 'perfect' ones), and we see can see what's happening with this campaign to discredit Amber Heard, and by extension others. I can't imagine how upsetting it must be to see all the vitriol. I do think an awful lot of it is PR manipulation by Depp's team and I believe eventually more people will wake up to what's happening.

I hope eventually you can find a safe way to leave. Please know you absolutely deserve better and you deserve help and support - as you said yourself it's not about who has it 'worse'. It's a continuum and a power dynamic. Sending you hugs. 🫂 💐

I have definitely been”triggered”by this trial. As in, I see so many similarities and to hear other women and(unsurprisingly)men call out her acts similar to mine in abusive relationship as if she’s the worst in the world makes me feel even more hopeless about a way out one day. I too felt like I don’t belong anywhere-I don’t belong in womens shelter, it always seems there are needier women than me. My family already made me run away from home, they had no problem siding with my abuser. I sometimes try to fight for last drops of my dignity but then of course all anyone would notice is that I am the one who’s louder or that I may even be following or trying to confront my abuser. In one serious incident where my abuser put more than just my life in serious danger when I tried to break up with him, the policeman told him at police station that I’m”playing games”. I too have broken restraining order, as in I knew it will finish at some point and wanted to smooth out what I can before he gets back in the house(it was court ordered anyway, not by myself). I guess this all makes me not a victim of domestic abuse, especially because I striked back or sometimes first and because I called him worse names than he called me at times. I suppose I should make peace we are just”both abusive”or”work on our marriage”. Just that I would very much like to leave but know that like in Amber’s case, he’s going to come after me. That’s what makes us stay. We are trying to negotiate and leave on better terms or at least when we are ready, we all know what’s waiting for us once we make that step. How many have returned more than once out of that fear? People forget while they’re just picking up on a trend of acting compassionate about domestic violence victims, most of them are living it in real time and act more like Amber Heard than not. Women are trying to get out for years while people on outside just view it as another normal or not so normal relationship. Basically no one gives a f, everyone just thought it would be fun to take out some misogyny on women and Heard, since opportunity is already there. I’m especially appalled with other women who went through DV using their experience to discredit Amber. It’s not about who had it less worse than you or how much you like them, it’s about power hierarchy. We can see how well it’s going for Amber

It really makes me question whether Heard was subject to abuse and therefore became an abuser herself.

Her marriage therapist said that Heard often started physical fights because that way Depp wouldn't walk away but would be forced to stay because she has scared of being abandoned. And also Heard told her that it was a point of pride that if she felt disrespected, she would start a fight. I think she also told a therapist she learned violence from her father.
It sounds like there were a lot of issues going on.

I think quite a lot of victims do too end up being violent or verbally abusive though.

I don't think she was very wise positioning herself as she did but essentially it seems she was a victim of domestic violence.

The more I hear, the more I think Depp and his team are actually trying to break her emotionally. My ex broke up with me but then continued to play psychological games to mess me up. It really makes me question whether Heard was subject to abuse and therefore became an abuser herself.

She needed to be solely a victim and not a perpetrator. The court cases have clearly shown she was abusive and manipulative too. She has lied about things.

Not a good look when trying to join yourself with the metoo campaign.

Abuse is complex and she didn't have to be a perfect person to be a victim and support the #metoo movement.
I believe her and relate to a lot of what she says.
He is destroying her.
Statistically the power balance is in his favour, and statistically it's more likely she's telling the truth than making all this up. A judge has already found him guilty of being a wife beater. Her evidence gets ripped to shreds, her personality, her looks, her mental health is used against her. People say there's no evidence he hit her, and when she shows photos of the bruises they say they're fake. She has been forced to reveal very personal, harrowing details of abuse while being live streamed to the world and abused on SM, with her abuser sitting in front of her. His exes all say he was sweet and kind but we have seen how he talks about women, we know he has been arrested for violent behaviour, we know he is controlling and jealous. I think they don't want to speak out, they are afraid he will do to them what he is doing to Amber.
He said himself that he would now show her "no mercy" and hoped she would die. He is using all his fame, his money, his power and his white male privilege and all in plain sight.

I think she's getting more hate because at the beginning she painted herself solely at the victim. She joined the #metoo movement as a virtuous person. Then it turned out all wasn't it seemed. I think this is why she is so hated by many.

I really wish the videos would end. I've been a victim of domestic violence and rape but both were many, many years ago. I've developed my coping strategy and been okay. On Sunday I just stared into the mirror wondering what it was about me that got me raped. I have absolutely no doubt that it's because of the constant barrage of hideous comments, videos, comments about her clothes, the number of sexual partners she's had and the rest. People can have their own opinions but that doesn't make them the truth, reality is we will never know the truth but I've got no doubt that it was a traumatic relationship for both of them and the barrage of anti-heard stuff is a huge wall of abuse against Heard. It would surprise me at all if she ends up suicidal. The world's learnt nothing from Caroline Flack.

Or is it likely some sad sack in their mums basement making stuff up for likes

Fun fact; Qanon's roots were this.

Fascinating series on radio 4 recently.

I've been seeing so many videos on Facebook. I don't know how to get rid of them. They keep popping up. I have to say, that even if Amber Heard is the devil incarnate etc, I really don't need to see videos which show a distraught woman talking about sexual assault and the comments being full of jokes.

@Ethelfromnumber73 me too! I wonder if they are promoted on FB?

I'm getting daily videos suggested on my Facebook feed with the most horrendous, misogynistic crap about AH - and the comments (mainly from women I'm sad to say) are just something else

A different point but it simply astounds me how people will read something on a public forum or on a conspiracy theory website/ blog and just swallow it! Maybe think about cross checking with another source, think about where it might have come from, was it in court docs etc? Or is it likely some sad sack in their mums basement making stuff up for likes or could it have come from either parties? It just scares me how little critical thinking goes on today.

pbs.twimg.com/media/FQ81zm9XEAAjiqS?format=jpg&name=large

I came across this comment and it pretty much sums up how I feel about the whole situation.

“My take: they had a toxic relationship, but I think the violence was more on his side than hers (though she's not a perfect victim, and almost certainly fought back or even instigated on occasion). He has issues with drugs and alcohol and by his own admission frequently can't remember what took place while he was on a bender (his defence in the UK case, repeatedly, was that he couldn't remember but 'knows' he wouldn't have done what she said).

They were surrounded, constantly, by people he was paying. Living in properties he owned. The security team was his. Most of his witnesses are people tied to him financially.

She filed for divorce, asked for a restraining order to allow her to change the locks on the home where she was living, and has moved on with her life.

He won't let her go. He's the one constantly dragging this to court. He's trying to punish her publicly, by dragging her name through the mud, and financially, by making her constantly shell out on expensive lawyers. Nothing she ever said (or implied) about him was as damaging to him as everything revealed in these court cases has been. If she was genuinely as abusive as he's now claiming, shouldn't he have been glad to have her out of his life and just move on?

Ignore all the noise and the mud-slinging, look at their actual actions. When you follow the legal actions it's clear he is the aggressor, and her actions have been defensive. And if you still don't believe it, remember a UK judge decided he had assaulted her on 12 of the 14 instances The Sun claimed. That's a matter of legal fact.”

I think too Amber is a person who gets very caught up in things. For example she befriended Amanda De Cadenet who was an activist / advocate in the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements and Amber then took that on as her own cause in a way and maybe got a little too caught up in it. Amanda was a close friend of hers for awhile until Amanda heard the recordings andd realized that the Amber she thought she knew and the person Amber had put herself forward as being was not the real Amber. She felt very betrayed and ended the friendship and distanced herself. The lack of identity and 'chameleon' characteristic that Amber shows isn't uncommon in people with borderline personality disorder. They have a hard time having a solid sense of self and tend to adopt interests or dress or characteristics of people around them. I see that quite a bit in Amber.

To think part of the problem was she joined the #metoo campaign presenting herself solely as I victim of domestic violence. Which I think she is. But it then became apparent that the lines were more blurred than that and she was also a perpetrator too.

Sorry I apologise I am quite defensive about it but you’re right I don’t know anything apart from what’s on the surface. I don’t really know where I would find this information as everything I see is on social media and short clips with commentaries from random people

No, I wasn't questioning your abuse at all. I just didn't understand what your epiphany was based on and was saying that it seems that many that have been victims and do a deep dive into the evidence come out seeing themselves reflected in Depp and their abusers reflected in Amber - based on what each says and the dynamic and tones. On a surface level and based on headlines, anyone can form really any view depending on what they see. None of that changes your experience.

I’m genuinely interested in seeing what female abuse victims find relatable with what has happened with JD. Maybe I need to look in more detail but I’m just going by my feelings based on what I have seen even if one the surface is painting him in a good light I’m just questioning the whole thing.

It’s ok it’s made me a stronger angrier person but I couldn’t do anything as he had so much ‘dirt’ on me, dirt in my community but not wider society I may add. I may be wrong about AH but my opinion is not affecting anything I am entitled to it and I’m not here to offend anyone which is why I chose this thread to write on.

Oh wait maybe I was the abuser eh as my partner would start making me question myself. Yes must be me which is why I’m starting to worry for AH.