2 year old boy 'hates girls'

Probably because the splitting of the feminist section is a mess.
It's still not clear whether s&g should be exclusively for gender identity threats to feminism(and if it is someone should tell all the drive bys who wag their fingers because 'more important stuff' is not being discussed.
Or IF sex and gender is where those feminist issues that are directly related to biology should be (abortion, maternity, sports etc) that would, however, leave very little in the chat section as our bodies have a huge impact on equality and the way we navigate the world.
Or is it just a fish barrell to make shooting GC posters easier?
Who knows. I certainly don't and I do t think hq do either!

Why is this in feminism- sex/gender debate section?

Fascinating subject. A few things I have come across reading about it.
Infants can instinctively differentiate between their mother and father by sight at three weeks.
Studies have found that children tend to gaze longer at women's faces when young. However the study also found that if the main caregiver is male the child states longer at male faces. This suggests they can perceive differences in sex.
By three months babies have been shown to show an understanding of difference in male and female faces but aren't able to fully process or use the information.
Sex as an abstract notion, complete with language catagorisation remains fluid till 2-3. This means it's perfectly normal for a boy to declare himself a girl or call mummy a boy.
From personal experience they start seeing and remarking on physical difference around this time too. Which means they'll get confused why mummy doesn't have a winky.

I'd be very, very surprised if human infants don't have a basic level of self preservation and caution that's different to males and females. It's in their interest to survive. Have you seen what male primates can do to infants? Not pretty.

So I wouldn't be surprised that a male child might have a preference for one gender over another. Whether that preference is based on experience(eg sibling, parent) stereotypes or instinct it'd be hard to say.

Froth 😶‍🌫️

I think people are more sceptical that a 5 month old can. I also know for sure that not all small children can tell - as I said upthread kids used to very often assume I was a man based on my short hair

My dd was five months old back in the 1980s and nearly all little girls had short hair and wore jeans. She loved boys and knew which was which right away

And I am not telling this story to justify the misogynist mother either.

I think people are more sceptical that a 5 month old can. I also know for sure that not all small children can tell - as I said upthread kids used to very often assume I was a man based on my short hair.

I don't know why some people are so sceptical that a child may be able to tell between men and women. My dd is nearly 2 and she has a really strong dislike of men and boys (with her dad and brothers being notable exceptions) and she always has done. I have no idea why or where this came but ever since she was a small baby she screams or shies away whenever she sees a man or an older boy. She never does it with women or girls. I am working on it but I don't know how to solve it tbh. Maybe this little boy is similar? I think hate is a strong word as babies can't hate anyone or anything but maybe the mum meant wary? Nervous?

I don't think it is much of an exaggeration to say that mysogynistic men start off as boys like him. That doesn't mean he is going to be an abuser but I think that there is a much higher chance that he will be than the average boy

Yes, it is. It has nothing to do with what he will be like as an adult. Two year olds pick up all kinds of odd ideas that they have totally dropped by the time they are adults. Like smearing poop on the wall being a good idea. Or a fear of going down the drain after a bath.

You know, when my LO was that age he definitely was more interested in playing with boys than girls, and more interested in men than women in interactions!

I can see how maybe a two year old could have a natural dislike, why not? Kids are weird. Hopefully mum will lift him out of it somehow, maybe she's just trying not to force the issue. My DS a bit older and does talk about girls now.

"Not at 2.
Seriously do you know or have any toddlers/pre-schoolers?"

I'm a childminder of 20 years experience, currently caring for five 2 year olds (work with my husband). Some have only just turned 2, some are almost 3.

So I'm thinking of calling the HV with my concerns about how behind my two year old twins are. They show zero awareness of their own sex other than a fascination with their tiddlers, no awareness of the sex of kids they play with, they definitely have no preference except for "will run around like a crazy thing with me" and they certainly have no generalised avoidance of the opposite sex.

Perhaps it's just bad parenting? DS has also never expressed distaste for girls either and he's nearly 7.

I'd have expected this preference to have been I bedded by 6 months at the latest.

Not at 2.

Seriously do you know or have any toddlers/pre-schoolers?

It's around this age they begin to notice that boys are different from girls. They're beginning to make friends with children of their own sex and it can be a time when the boys go through a "Huh! Girls!!" phase and the girls regard the boys as grubby nuisances.
It's quite normal. I wouldn't be encouraging it by saying a child hated girls, though. I think Mum sounds as though she worded that badly.

Most of the men out there assaulting and abusing women started as innocent 2 year olds who were taught that it was ok to 'hate girls'.

There is no doubt the comment from the mother was strange. Very very strange! But for you to conclude THIS from that comment is also strange. Very disturbed view to have of a 2 year old boy? 🙈

I think at least to some extent this is coming from him.

he’s two!!!! 😂

You have just reminded me that DS went through a phase of sitting on the subway asking me whether people were men or women. Loudly. It was really embarrassing. He was two and was literally trying to work out how gender worked, but it sounded like he was misgendering people left right and centre.

He also thought “guy” was gender-neutral (because Canadian teachers say things like “hey you guys, let’s go out and play”). So he would know somebody was a woman, and still call them a guy, meaning “person”. “Mummy what is that guy in the skirt doing over there?”

Most 2 year olds play side by side and not together
They dob't care to much about boy and girls
But when kids get a little older you do here i hate boys from girls and i hate girls from boys from time to time, its just one of those things growing up sometimes

The mum is clearly mad and you need to keep well away from her.

She doesn't know how your 2 year old DD plays or what she plays with. For all she knows your DD could be domineering and favourite toys could be cars.

Oh and both your children are going to have problems if you keep on like this. I suggest you learn a bit about child development it will help your DD.

Should have hung out with Coyoa's baby, they'd have known.

DS was talking to a boy on the bus for ten minutes the other day when the kid suddenly asked "so wait, are you a boy or a girl?". He's six, lad was similar age.

Should say I may not have met the genius 5 month old noted above.

Children absolutely cannot innately tell what sex people are. When I had short hair children used to frequently think I was a man despite being 5’ with big tits.

Yes, I wouldn't be keen to take my son near anyone who I knew thought like this, especially if we were actually having problems. Toddlers having difficulties need more physical affection, more love-bombing and more patience and reassurance (along with firm boundaries), not people recoiling from them.

I have a 2.5 year old. He frequently gets gender confused and doesn’t hate anyone.

Very, very odd. Adult projections definitely.

You do find this attitude, but for a parent to say it about a 2yo is crazy.

On DS's 7th birthday the Mum of a child DS knows through an activity was surprised he had invited girls from his class

I'd avoid her. No wonder she is lonely.