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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Single sex toilets and muslim women

217 replies

peonyred · 01/05/2022 15:01

Since I am constantly being met with the "be kind" bollox and clearly am not perceived as being "kind", I have started asking people (mostly men and young people) how they feel about the fact that allowing men into women's loos means Muslim women and orthodox Jewish women cannot use them - at all. Therefore they have no access to any public toilets. TW can use unisex, mens or women's but their insistence on their rights to women's loos has shut out a significant number of women. This is without mentioning sexual abuse survivors (which appears not to register) First - am I right about this? Second, is there a Muslim woman out there who (with our backing) takes this to court? Is this the way though or am I kidding myself we'll ever get our spaces back?

OP posts:
Neverreturntoathread · 01/05/2022 21:34

SweetPetrichor · 01/05/2022 17:21

How would you actually police this, in a realistic sense? The assumption seems to be that all trans women look like men in dresses, but a) that’s a gross mindset and b)there have been several occasions where I have noticed someone in women’s toilets who are maybe a little more ‘masculine’ in build or face shape but I genuinely had no idea if they were trans or just a more square built female. I didn’t give it much thought cause I personally don’t care. But do you want to inspect every person to see if they have a penis? That’s madness.

You’re missing the point. Lots of things are ineffectively ‘policed’ - look at traffic speed limits! The point is that if the law is correct then when it’s broken people can if they need to seek help.

So if toilets are single sex, then when there’s an obvious man in there causing a problem, women and girls can seek help and he can be asked to leave / arrested for harassment. May not always be possible but certainly in eg schools nightclubs and pubs etc.

Similarly if announcing that he’s trans gives a man a right of access to female facilities, you get male sex offenders hanging around female spaces looking for their next victim. Like that ‘trans’ boy who raped a female teenager in the school loo in America. Would he have so easily have got a victim alone if he hadn’t been given access by the school authorities to the female toilets? I suspect not.

Neverreturntoathread · 01/05/2022 21:27

Artichokeleaves · 01/05/2022 15:38

Yup.

Add to that some Gypsy/Roma/Traveller women.

Some Autistic women. (Many neurodiverse MNetters have talked about this and the impact on them)

Some disabled women.

Women with PTSD and trauma from CSA and VAWG/DA/DV

These women will be excluded from having any facilities, so that male people can live their best lives by selecting from all the facilities.

The characteristic that defines whether you are excluded from access to anything if not sufficiently privileged to be able to access mixed sex spaces, or whether you are a person who gets to choose from everything, is sex. With the male sex being the winner. This would make it male supremacist.

The 'inclusive' and 'intersectional' and 'kind' answer would be to ensure that some facilities were retained as female only while others were mixed sex. But that would only be if the political lobby seeking this actually cared about inclusion and intersectionality instead of seeing those words as leverage meaning 'do what I want'. Hence the huge tantrums in response to the EHRC saying exactly this: that some things must stay female only (because those female people have rights of access too) and mixed sex provision made in addition.

Excellent answer by @Artichokeleaves

Chilledchablis1 · 01/05/2022 21:24

@ BackAgain777

I agree

BackAgain777 · 01/05/2022 21:23

Deleted?
For what?
Saying what every other person (almost) on this thread said?
Trans women are MEN.
There.
I said it again.
That is what I said in my post. Also, that I don't have to share their belief that they are women.
Therefore it is a feeling in their head that I don't share.

Will I be deleted again for saying that?
Why are some posts acceptable and some not?
What is the magic formula for getting a post to stand?
I wish I knew, because it seems completely arbitrary.

""it’s them using a space they are 100% valid in using.""

How are men valid using a women's space? What makes them "women"? I'd love you to answer that.
And not referring to their legal right to do so, but what actually MAKES them women?

Helleofabore · 01/05/2022 21:19

I’m saying that trans women have every right to use a women’s toilet.

And organisations could legitimately exclude them from female single sex toilets. Particularly if a set of well designed gender neutral toilets was also provided.

So, you can ‘say’ all you want really.

And why would they need policing again? Just refresh our memories, if transitioned males are respecting the rights of females to have single sex spaces, why do you suggest they would be so disrespectful as to continue to use female toilets if they realize it is causing distress and an organisation has specifically stated the toilets are single sex?

Are you really saying that transitioned males would not respect that organisation’s decision and the needs of females? Is that what you are saying- that those toilets would need ‘policing’?

DomesticatedZombie · 01/05/2022 21:14

trans women have every right to use a women’s toilet. How would you propose to stop them? It’s not about ‘refusing to respect female only spaces’…it’s them using a space they are 100% valid in using

At least you're saying it out loud.

'Males will do what they want, you can't stop them'.

DomesticatedZombie · 01/05/2022 21:12

trans or just a more square built female

'square built'.

Because the only difference between Alex Drummond and virtually any woman is a little extra squareness in Alex' shoulders.

SweetPetrichor · 01/05/2022 21:07

Artichokeleaves · 01/05/2022 17:34

Are you saying that TW would refuse to respect female only spaces that permitted some females their only access?

Isn't that a bit transphobic? Confused And a massive negative generalisation?

And frankly a theory that that it's pointless females trying to have boundaries because male people will never respect them anyway, regardless of how it impacts on females, is the case for law protecting single sex spaces.

I don’t really know what you’re trying to say.
I’m saying that trans women have every right to use a women’s toilet. How would you propose to stop them? It’s not about ‘refusing to respect female only spaces’…it’s them using a space they are 100% valid in using.

Helleofabore · 01/05/2022 21:07

Unisex spaces as an addition would only be a good thing. Provided they are completely self contained.

Doubt you will get disagreement here.

However, about that idea that has been floated by Petrichor that there needs to be some ‘policing’ of the female toilets because some males will not respect women asking them to use the gender neutral facilities and to not disrespect females by using the female single sex toilets… do you think some males will continue to show disrespect to the many female voices who stating their needs for single sex toilets fieldof ?

Fieldofgreycorn · 01/05/2022 20:55

Unisex spaces as an addition would only be a good thing. Provided they are completely self contained. Some trans women aren’t going to want to go into an enclosed space with men either.

In fact all cubicles being totally wall to floor would be a vast improvement. It’s so much more civilised.

Holly60 · 01/05/2022 20:53

FlowerArranger · 01/05/2022 17:01

The sad thing is that so many of my friends - women in their 50s, 60s, 70s - cannot see any problem with gender neutral toilets. Because the vast majority of men/people with penises/transwomen are 'harmless', and it would be wrong to 'discriminate'.

I've not yet been called bigoted to my face, but I'm sure some of they think it. I fear I may end up losing friends over this as my explanations of the issue fall on deaf ears, and I sense that they are annoyed with me.

Do you think they might be annoyed because you are so obviously contemptuous of their views?

I guess when they do finally give up on your friendship you will have this little corner of mumsnet to stop you from being lonely.

Artichokeleaves · 01/05/2022 20:40

IstayedForTheFeminism · 01/05/2022 18:34

No I don’t think anyone here is going to tell women to get over their trauma or abandon their religion.

I've been told on here to get over my trauma. Sad

Much sympathy. Flowers I did say on page one we'd get the statement that 'this doesn't happen'.

(and if it does, it isn't that bad. And if it is that bad, then you deserve it, yada yada)

I've been repeatedly told on here to get over my homosexuality on the grounds that it's very wrong and racist or something of me to have a sexuality that makes male people feel thwarted in their access to my body and that I have a social duty to provide sex even if I don't want it or enjoy it.

My not enjoying it would be my fault for not trying hard enough you see.

Horrible to experience, isn't it? MRA in the extreme. Women are experiencing this stuff we talk about here, and it's awful. If you are a woman and haven't yet, aren't you're lucky? Give it time. You or a woman you care about will sooner or later. But that means a lot of women stacking up as collateral damage while we wait for enough women to be personally affected.

LuluBlakey1 · 01/05/2022 20:37

MishyJDI · 01/05/2022 16:02

Given transwomen are women, and that is recognised by both muslim and jewish faiths, then I dont think your case will fly.

Take Iran for instance - has a very big transgender population and is quite supportive of them.

No they aren't. A few may pass as women on the surface but they are not women. Not XX chromosomes, no womb, natural vagina, ovaries, can not give birth to children. Nothing naturally female about them. Grew up male not female. Being a woman is a lifetime journey and experience from birth to death- not a case of saying you're a woman. They will never be part of our culture as women.

Crumbler · 01/05/2022 20:28

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UrslaB · 01/05/2022 20:06

MishyJDI · 01/05/2022 16:02

Given transwomen are women, and that is recognised by both muslim and jewish faiths, then I dont think your case will fly.

Take Iran for instance - has a very big transgender population and is quite supportive of them.

There are other countries you could use as an example here, please use them and not Iran. Please don't use Iran as an example here. Iran's state and religious arms notoriously force and pressure gender transition on people who express Lesbian or Gay feelings. The abusive use of transitional doctrin and surgery to push same sex couples to capitulate to one of them transitioning to fit a heteronormative view of society and religion is well documented.

To say Iran has a big transgender population is to totally miss how many of these 'transitions' were socially, familial and even state pressured to prevent a gay person being prosecuted for being gay. A crime with dire consequences in law and upon families standing. To say Iran is supportive of trans communities is to ignore the motivation for this support, which is to eradicate Lesbian and gay people.

Fimofriend · 01/05/2022 19:55

Transwomen are men and of the transwomen in prison approx. 70% are in there for sexual assault whereas only 17% of men who do NOT identify as trans are in there for sexual assault. Hence a transwoman is MORE likely to commit sexual assault than other men. It would also follow that they are also more likely to behave in a manner that is inappropriate.
(No, I am not going to find the links to this statistic again. You have google on your machines too and the statistic is official governmental statistics from Britain and everyone can see it. I think it was 2019 numbers.)

Wineat5isfine · 01/05/2022 19:49

MishyJDI · 01/05/2022 16:02

Given transwomen are women, and that is recognised by both muslim and jewish faiths, then I dont think your case will fly.

Take Iran for instance - has a very big transgender population and is quite supportive of them.

But they aren’t. Trans women are men.

If trans women were women, they would be called women. 🤷🏼‍♀️

nepeta · 01/05/2022 19:48

SweetPetrichor · 01/05/2022 17:21

How would you actually police this, in a realistic sense? The assumption seems to be that all trans women look like men in dresses, but a) that’s a gross mindset and b)there have been several occasions where I have noticed someone in women’s toilets who are maybe a little more ‘masculine’ in build or face shape but I genuinely had no idea if they were trans or just a more square built female. I didn’t give it much thought cause I personally don’t care. But do you want to inspect every person to see if they have a penis? That’s madness.

The current implicit social contract is that men don't use women's toilets and women don't use men's toilets. The exception allowed in that contract has to do with children up to a certain age so that a young boy can go into the women's toilet with his mother, say, and so on.

This implicit contract is obeyed by most people, and it allows women who see a man enter the women's toilet to raise a rapid alarm. If that implicit social contract is ended and replaced by one where women are told not to question anyone's right to be in a single-sex toilet then they are told to wait before raising an alarm. That makes assault by a man who exploits this weakness without actually being trans more likely to succeed.

And once that implicit contract is ended, men who wish to film women in the toilets or sexually harass them there have more leeway to do so as they are less likely to be questioned about their presence.

So the real point is not that there would have to be genital policing by others. The real point is that most of us have done our own 'genital policing' by picking the toilet which matches our biological sex.

titchy · 01/05/2022 19:45

gogohm · 01/05/2022 18:58

There's been unisex loos since I was a kid, they really aren't a problem in 99% of circumstances. In busy places it makes complete sense to have sets of male, female, disabled, parent and children and a gender neutral loo for all eventualities whereas in places with only a couple of toilets having a fully contained (including wash basin and sanitary disposal) toilet onto a corridor is just fine and it makes no difference what religion you are, you aren't sharing the space with others. The key is self contained

No one is complaining about fully self contained facilities - that's all many premises can fit in. It's obviously when those facilities have more than one cubicle and separate sinks that the issue arises. Did you really not understand that Confused

Whenthegoatcomesin · 01/05/2022 19:12

LOVE how trans-activists are so quick to tell us that if our gender critical beliefs overlap with right-wing principles then we’re on the wrong side of history but TRAs will hold up Iran as the fucking liberals! Really? That’s your corner?

CorsicaDreaming · 01/05/2022 19:11

@gogohm - just out of interest, are you male or female?

DomesticatedZombie · 01/05/2022 19:03

MishyJDI · 01/05/2022 16:02

Given transwomen are women, and that is recognised by both muslim and jewish faiths, then I dont think your case will fly.

Take Iran for instance - has a very big transgender population and is quite supportive of them.

Don't be silly, of coures transwomen aren't women. If they were, the word 'transwoman' wouldn't even exist.

gogohm · 01/05/2022 18:58

There's been unisex loos since I was a kid, they really aren't a problem in 99% of circumstances. In busy places it makes complete sense to have sets of male, female, disabled, parent and children and a gender neutral loo for all eventualities whereas in places with only a couple of toilets having a fully contained (including wash basin and sanitary disposal) toilet onto a corridor is just fine and it makes no difference what religion you are, you aren't sharing the space with others. The key is self contained

Whenthegoatcomesin · 01/05/2022 18:46

The very reason that this is even an argument is (ironically) because these are men. This is how it plays out when a powerful majority invade a minority.

respectmysex · 01/05/2022 18:43

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