Help wording an email to manager re: gender

100% agree with @CatSpeakForDummies and other posters who say an email to HR will only reflect badly on you at this point - you haven’t been discriminated against so there’s nothing to complain about. Rise above it and pick your battles. And I say this as someone who’s as GC as they come!

This honestly sounds like lowering yourself to the level of attention seeking and hyperbole we are trying to fight against, I can't see the email helping you in any way.

I think you need to make a clear division in your mind between individuals and the wider system. I don't believe in god but I would never start an email about a Muslim colleague sending round information on Eid. I'd wait until I was asked to do something, like saying Grace, before making a stand.

I also think the best approach is less oxygen, not more. The bombardment and inappropriateness of sending people lots of info on your special interest is more off putting than seeing a counter argument.

If this is genuine, (and I'm not sure it is - something about the way you refer to yourself as 'a gender critical', and also saying you feel 'unsafe' when nothing at all has happened) then I suggest you welcome the trans person into your workplace like you would any other person and just get on with your job. At some point you may find you need to remind HR that your beliefs should be respected but it's not now.

I feel your irritation OP. There is no need for her to send out "educational" information to work colleagues- doing so is imo forcing her views on people at work. It is for HR to determine what D&I material is sent to staff. If she was vegan and sending out material about animal butchery, more people than you would be offended. This is about Trans yet again being positioned as so important that people need educating ... it's a political act, you know it and she knows it.

If you say nothing then down the line you'll be invited to a meeting without coffee, where the fact that you "said nothing" for months about your protected beliefs will be held against you and used to imply that you can't truly hold those beliefs. I would contact HR

Your friendly HR department. Location: everywhere

twitter.com/rebecca_roache/status/1519617769037254660

But for now you’re only being asked to bear witness to HR prostrating themselves on the trans altar for woke points and arse covering.

😂

Honestly OP you’ll create more problems if you tackle it at this point. Only tackle it if and when it impinges on your rights.

At the moment it may be annoying but it’s nothing more than that.

And above all, be welcoming to the person. They may be deluded according to you, but plenty of people are deluded by ideologies that others consider ridiculous and are still lovely people worth knowing. My friend thinks that COVID is predicted by the bible. I still love her.

Good luck OP.

So once she starts, if she sends another you tell her you feel adequately equated thanks so you don't any more articles.

I would not email about being gender critical. I would ask your boss to remind staff that work email is for work issues.

If anyone wants to know more about this person's situation they can ask directly. No need to "educate" colleagues.

Deal with it as if it is a colleague using work email to message repeatedly about their holiday or hobby.

I'm gender critical as well OP and agree with previous posters that you don't need to do anything at the moment. The articles etc may be irritating but I would ignore those for the time being.

Keep doing your job as usual and continue making the same decisions you would have done before. If your new colleague shares the female loos, either judge that they don't make you uncomfortable as an individual or, if they do, avoid sharing by using different facilities or times. Ignore any suggestions of adding pronouns to your emails if suggested and only say why privately if challenged. Go to HR if your line manager causes an issue.

There really should be few issues dealing with people with different beliefs/values/cultures from yourself. You do you and they can do them.

Just set up an email rule that sends all her emails into a folder that you don’t have to ever open.
And then just get on with work, you are not unsafe, that’s a ridiculous way to describe the situation. When the wokesters go on about feeling unsafe we all roll our eyes, same applies here.

Nothing’s actually affecting you yet though. If she starts making unreasonable demands that encroach on your rights then that’s the time to speak up. But for now you’re only being asked to bear witness to HR prostrating themselves on the trans altar for woke points and arse covering.

It’s irritating because the subtext of all the articles and emails is essentially: “there’s a man who thinks he’s a woman who’s about to join the team and under no circumstances are you allowed to acknowledge reality because it will
make the man sad and then he’ll throw a potentially litigious tantrum. So here’s a bunch of guff about how to do the mental gymnastics to pretend this isn’t happening.”

Keep your powder dry for now, otherwise you’re only going to start a race to the bottom in the Most Opressed Victim competition and if the emails and the articles are all that you’ve got to worry about right now, you will lose.

Just call him she/her and crack on with your job.

But like with the unusual-religion analogy, the trans ideology is not widely understood. The gender-critical position is the default. She does not need to have it explained to her.

Your call OP - but as you can see, there's no support here for what you suggest.
These emails are likely to have been sent in a possibly misguided attempt to ensure the new worker is accepted. All you'll do is confirm they were right to send them.
I don't understand how they impinge on your rights in any way?

If you’re happy using preferred pronouns, okay. Are there any other implications for you?

Agree with those likening it to a religion. A Muslim woman in my team posted an article about Ramadan on our teams chat, and we made some minor changes like delaying a team lunch we go on every couple of months until after Ramadan. No need for anyone to mention they’re atheist. Very good comparison imo.

4 emails with articles...they must be a very, very special new starter.

If you are happy to use their preferred pronouns and name then I’m not sure what the issue is exactly?

Deal with individual issues as they come up e.g if they bring up pronouns in email signatures deal with that as it’s own issue.

I think a trans person starting in your team and then you immediately emailing yoir manager just generally about being GC but not having any specific issues might raise alarm bells and make them weary of how you are treating the new team member, which in turn will make it harder to deal with actual issues if they arise.

Unsafe? Oh get a grip...

You are over exaggerating. If a Muslim person came to work for you would you email your boss saying you’re an atheist? Of course not!

Just lie low, be really nice to the person then you will demonstrate that GC people are not anti-trans. Because they’re not.

Can someone help me. What is gender critical? I'm a bit confused with the Ops post but think it's because I'm a bit behind the times with terminology etc

I’d leave it for now. Think of it as someone joining from a not well known religion - they’ve sent some articles to educate the team on the new member’s beliefs. Unless they are saying that you have to believe it too I’d smile and ignore.

What is the problem? Trans person has joined team, you are happy to use their preferred pronouns. And the issue is???

No matter how you word it, it will be seen as an attack on an individual. It's enraging when someone new is introduced in this way (unless of course everyone gets a similar tedious email about every new worker) but I can't see how or why you'd raise an objection?