Help with talking to a 12 yr old about trans issues

This is getting really annoying.

Where did a parent of a teen or someone who knows a teen tell me a story and i rejected it?

The only one I questioned was someone who claimed they wrote safeguarding.

If you look above you will see a very interested (genuinely) interaction with a parent of a teens child.

I have never said it's the only form of data. I have said it appeals more to me than anything else because I look them in the eyes every day. Shoot me now, I'm the worst of people.

By not applying that logic you are removing any chance for the child to give any form of informed consent though.

If they don't understand they shouldn't be doing it surely.

Amd there is a very some.basic eleven small children can grasp. Girl. Female child. Boy male.child.

What else is there?

I work with teenagers

Well that's what you say, @stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou

You're not interested in referenced research, you insist on posters accepting your statements of your experience, but you won't accept other posters' evidence of their personal experience??

Anecdote is not the singular form of data.

I don't think you can apply the same logic to the child themselves and their peers though.

Of course there's not a basic explanation. That's why it's so complicated.

Now I know your reasoning, I'm more than happy to share this with you. I know you shouldn't have had to tell me but I'm sure you understand why I'm more taken by your story than someone who tells me about something in research.

Is there anything you want to ask about what we learned?

Out of interest (sorry if that's sensitive) how does that work then? Your child uses pronouns at school that you have advised against?

Oh and there was no JAT. The Year Head was also the head of the school LGBT club at that time and as far as I can tell (nothing in our SAR indicates otherwise), decisions were made by him.

No, it wasn't.

It was the ones who referred to reports and research.

I'll take your point on that one.

I know I can be a bit , erm , tunnel visioned.

I find it hard to be objective on an issue that affects people I look in the eyes. Maybe that's a flaw but don't think I haven't for a second taken on things I've read on these boards.

No agenda. Not in that sense of the word. Just quite a strong belief.

If course its necessary. That's how language works. Words have meanings and people use thise words in appropriate contexts and everyone understands what's being said

If its too nuanced then surely the kids don't understand enough to even know what they are identifying as surely.

There must me a basic explanation of what a girl identity is so everyone can work.out if they have one or not?

How are you affirming identities when you just admitted the kids don't even understand them at eveb a basic level

Given that you're talking about your own child though, as it is the case that your wishes haven't been heard, I'm genuinely sorry to hear that

stopwaiting It’s more that the school have intentionally ignored clinical advice, not just our wishes. We’re in the middle of an official complaint which we lodged in 30 August and still don’t have a final outcome for (originally rejected, we filed our appeal on 13 December, no response yet).

it is very useful hear what LGBTYS say in their current training sessions as a transcript from their training 18 months ago is online, and from your posts, it sounds as though it hasn’t changed at all.

I said nothing of the sort! I'm not a parent of a teenager, trans or otherwise, so why would I?!

Really?

When you posted

The posters claiming its happening aren't relating to dirct experience. I'd believe them if they were.

This in regards to parents who are relaying to you their experiences. But you need them to be worded in such a way that you will then see them as 'direct' enough experiences on an anonymous Internet forum.

I said in the post you reported that it is no one's right to expect a poster to out themselves for credibilities sake. If you choose not to believe people posting, that is your business, but it certainly shows that you seem to have an agenda.

Incidentally Scully I don't think you're wrong. But I think its more of a university level debate than a school. We can't even decide it on here!

I don't think thats necessary though.

The nuances of gender is a bit much for a child. In the same way that we tell them granny has passed away, we don't describe her death in great detail. Or we tell them mummy's having a baby, we don't tell them that mum and dad had rampant sex

You take my point.

Nor do we tell people they can "change sex

This confusion has come abkut because most the kids see boy and girls as sex based. And the " new " definitions of the word have not been explained to them. And its been changed without anyone being really Aware.

See if they all knew what girl and boy identities were they'd know what people were talking about don't ya think?

totally invalid comparison. I mean, if you want your child to be an outcast, by all means tell them that.

I said nothing of the sort! I'm not a parent of a teenager, trans or otherwise, so why would I?!

It is irrelevant whether you swear or not.

@nightwakingmoon
Your contributions are fascinating.
Could you please start a where you recommend some reading on social history.
Thank you

OP let your child take the lead and take the position of religious belief, it is a valid comparison.

I swear like a trooper. But at another human? No.

Did you or did you not say that you wouldn't believe anything a parent said unless they were parents of trans teenagers?

Also no need for teachers pets to jump in and get involved in something that's stuff all to do with them.

I'm not a year head though. I take my orders from above.

And I really don't think it would have been solely down to the year head. Surely there was some JAT involvement here? (Sorry, Scotland. As in joint action, numerous teams consulted).

Given that you're talking about your own child though, as it is the case that your wishes haven't been heard, I'm genuinely sorry to hear that.

I might get back to answer that post once I stop laughing about being reported for swearing!

Don't (fucking) worry @stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou, swearing is allowed here so no need to tell on other adults for doing it... this isn't school.

In short, no.

But ultimately, I'm not convinced it matters what I think.

People can mock and attack me all they like, but I have a job to do. When and if the guidance changes, I'll change it.

It's out of my hands. It's out of all of ours.

For swearing aggressively at me. Really unnecessary.