Hi all, grateful for any help in constructing my argument in discussions with my DS (18).
I have just had big argument with DS who called me transphobic. I am so hurt: am just giving a little bit of back story - and let me know what you think?
I an white English, heterosexual.
I grew up in Asia and Europe, came to Uni in Scotland at 19. Lived abroad for another 2 years.
I have lived in London ever since, married with 3 kids. Have gay friends, bi sexual friends. It’s not really been anything we’ve even considered being an ‘issue’ of course.
A toddler group friend’s child, that I have known all my life, came out as transgendered 3 years ago at age 15. So happy they could live as their authentic self. I - of course- use their new names and pronouns, in birthday and Xmas cards for example, and when referring to them at home. As is only right - am not looking for ticker tape parade, just setting scene.
This young person has just posted on social media that they have got engaged. I am slightly taken aback - and was explaining to my daughter that it is because they are only just 18, in y13 - not because of gender/ sexuality, I would feel same way if DS got engaged to his girlfriend.
DS came down and said, well yeah but you are transphobic. I said no, don’t be offensive. I really think everyone should be allowed to live their best life as long as they are not hurting anyone, but I am concerned about self identifying, and encroaching on safe female only spaces.
DS scoffed and said, but yeah, how often does that happen? And how does it affect you? I mentioned the male prisoners identifying as women and then going on to commit sex crimes on female inmates. DS said ‘yeah, but that’s just a few cases’.
I am not armed to debate this with him, and feel so insulted that he would say this? He says I am like white people in the 1960s who didn’t really realise they were being racist, and I will look back in 20 years and see my bigotry for what it is.
I am ridiculously upset by this conversation.