NCS will put my child into a "self-identified gendered accommodation"

What about if there's an 'incident' with a trans-ident boy? Or are they REALLY confident that that's less likely than with a gay boy?

OP, what if you had a more robust discussion with your son about which sleeping arrangements are appropriate?

NCS policies are available here:

www.learnbydesign.co.uk/company-policies/

(Towards the bottom, marked NCS). Have a look at all of their equality policies.

I requested to see NCS safeguarding policy. It doesn't mention anything about safety in overnight accommodation except to say adults not to sleep in same room as under 18s!! Loads of irrelevant shit about not using text speak and other stuff. I have replied requesting specific information on their policy regarding single sex overnight accommodation.

I am aware of this too, I sought reassurance that dorms would be sex based not gender based because I didn't want them to agree to putting my "trans" daughter in with boys, which she would probably choose. I got the same response, we usually put young people in whichever accommodation they are most comfortable with. What about how comfortable other people in that accommodation feel???? What about safety???
I really want her to do NCS but really not happy with their stance on this.

I think their 'don't expect us to change' is a bit premature on their part.

We're awaiting the results from Maya, Allison Bailey's case starts next week, Stonewall is not going to come out of this well whatever the verdict, and the EHCR are getting very clear that the Equality Act is not the TQ+ act.

The time is coming where these captured groups are going to be faced with some facts and problems with their ethics that they might not like, but can not opt out of. And that a woman taking legal action against them may well be an expensive risk to be taking.

But basically they don’t consider girls’ privacy and dignity to be a legitimate end.

This must be so difficult for you OP when you understand all this, but it's your own DC who seems set on invading girls' privacy.

And yes, young teens today - especially a lot of older teen girls and young women - are more "cool" with this sort of thing. But they are also hyper-aware of the harassing and predatory behaviour to which they are subject, and I think it might shock them to understand that a "cool" transgirl - to them probably just a gay boy - might still be sexually predatory at worst, or at best, sexually attracted to them.

I think it's a typical teen mindset about being edgy and cool, and this being fun. Mostly, girls and young women get through this with no harm done. But if harm is done, it can be catastrophic.

This is completely contradictory to the information I received from NCS who said they’d be single sex. I will be avoiding them like the plague!

I think you need to go higher up again. I wouldn't bother speaking to anyone on the local team any more as it seems you're wasting your breath. Go over their heads.

They said if the girls feel uncomfortable because of a male person being in their dorm (not because of specific trauma events), they need "to be educated to respect the identity" of the male person and anyway YP these days are much more tolerant. gaslighting twats. I think they'll find my YP very intolerant and with plenty to say. I'm sadly going to have to be prepared to to go and collect her from her NCS residential if her safety and dignity needs are not respected.

Loads of people will tell you this, but the EA does not state "that a self-identified transgender person must not be discriminated."

"Gender reassignment" is the protected characteristic, but the re is also the understanding that sex can override gender reassignment if it is "a proportionate means to obtain a legitimate end" (or something like that).

They are wrong, basically ...

Ok.

You need to ask the source of their training and policy because it is more than likely provided by Stonewall et al, and has been intentionally 'spun' to misrepresent the law to match their political agenda. The organisation run the risk of problems through discriminating against female students in the belief that this is what the law guides them to do.

They need to be aware of the recent EHCR guidance, and that discriminating against females in favour of male people with gender identities is not legal, not a requirement, and that they are likely to particularly discriminate in this against females with trauma, disabilities, CSA, or from minority faiths and cultures, with whom they are providing the option of 'abandon your own needs or be excluded'.

I'd suggest too at this point contacting Baroness Nicholson, Fair Play for Women, Safe Schools Alliance may also be interested although this is beyond their age remit, and Sex Matters. They are more than likely to be willing to help 'educate' this unfortunate group that they have been 'educated' into a lot of politically helpful prejudice and bias by a lobby group they have placed rather too much trust in.

I'm surprised, my 4 all went to different universities, all chose 5 I think. All the ones they looked at had single rooms so that just seemed normal to me. Friends with kids at unis now all seem to be paying for very swanky accommodation and I'm told their kids wanted en suite rooms and thought sharing a bathroom was horrific, not sure how they'd react to sharing a bedroom with a stranger.

Edinburgh university had twin rooms, though singles were much more common. I've just checked and they still do twin rooms- at almost half the price of a single!
(No curtain or alcove)

Mine did, and offered shared rooms at lower cost to the single rooms, so an attractive prospect for harder up students.

30 years ago University of Northumbria had shared rooms - you had a central 'room' with your desks in, and then a curtained doorway either side (yes, the curtain didn't reach the sides or the floor) leading to your bed and sink. It looks like that campus has been re-vamped, so hopefully they've all been got rid of.

I didn't realise any universities had shared rooms. My 4 have all been to uni and all had single rooms. As far as I can remember they all had a choice of single sex or mixed flat/corridor but the rooms were all single.

It very much looks like it’s a disconnect between NCS the organisation and the individual NCS local providers. My DDs did NCS three years ago and the provider was very good with regard to safeguarding, most definitely single sex accommodation, based in a University and they’d been doing it for years. It looks like a Debra Cook is the Responsible Manager for Safeguarding at NCS. You can get their full safeguarding policy on request. They need to know if their local providers have a different ‘safeguarding’ policy to them.

Just tried to Pm you @Unwantedgift but MN servers are temperamental and I get an error 500 :(

I contacted NCS with concern as was thinking of signing my daughter up and their response was:

”The accommodation itself will always be same-sex only and during the second phase, where possible, university style accommodation will be provided. This could be in the form of individual rooms, or rooms in flats with shared communal areas. Assistance will always be available on site by professional trained staff who will be happy to discuss any concerns with your young person.”

So there is obviously a disconnect between head office and providers.

You should I think contact NCS to alert them to the lack of safeguarding with your provider. Will PM you if that’s ok :)