Brighton midwives told to say “front hole”

This reminds me of registering DCs for nursery and being asked if there are any special words they use for toileting!

A euphemism is one thing - I'm not a huge fan myself, but I understand why parents don't want a loud commentary on "Why is my vagina/penis itchy, Mummy?" in the check out queue. But a euphemism designed to gloss over the fact that girls have genitals is wrong IME, and sets girls up for a lifetime of embarrassment and difficulty describing sexual organs.

Is the penis the 'piss stick' or 'piss pole'.... oh I think I have found my new MN name....

Yes, all of the doctors in the NHS downed tools for months in order to write this. There is no one employed in the NHS whose job it is to write policy. The NHS can only do one thing at any one time

Everyone has a bad nhs story. Sometimes multiple. Everyone. Every spare penny amd every spare minute by Everyone there should he spent trying to improve things . Improve outcomes. Patiente experiences. Not spent paying lobby groups with no medical, legal, safeguarding, child development backgrounds to alter paperwork amd policies so it males no medical, or anatomical sense.

Identity is no ones issue but patients. Its not relevant to anyone else. And should not require staff lie to or become less clear to, patients. Truth not lies. Not fantasy.

@Queenoftheashes If you’re a pregnant man I doubt someone referring to your vag is the most triggering thing to happen to it. How do they reconcile the baby coming out of it?

Please do not ever say this. It's a lie.

I'm going to move.

Can anyone recommend a place that's as cool as Brighton that doesn't have this nonsense going on?

It is in a medical setting.
To request language you are comfortable with could be deadly.
Besides; midwives might be well affronted to refer to the lips of labia as «wank pillows». I wouldnt support any such idiocy.
Childbirth is very dangerous business and to mess around with fucking preferred language that could (WOULD) result in misunderstandings and delays is a recipe for disaster.
It is a matter of life and death to put it bluntly.

Fucking language and thought police are clearly lunatics when they prioritise «preferred language» over safe delivery and survival of both mother and child.

It makes me so angry.

I know midwives through a family member. Along with most other clinical professionals they have been taking their cue for anatomical naming from their patients for many many years. If there is confusion they will make sure that they understand what the patient is saying and vice versa.

Another poster made the link with pornography, which makes a lot of sense. Our own needs (eg to urinate) are irrelevant. So we are just two holes, both available for a penis to enter.

As much as these are stupid terms imo, Brighton is very pro trans, so its specifically talking about providing sensitive healthcare to transgender patients, so I think its a bit of a non story. If they were going to use those terms for all women then that would be grim. I think that in the event of childbirth it really should be focussed on the birthing female regardless of their feelings about their identity, and care of people in such intimate settings should be trauma informed

Of all the things to focus on. Not staffing. Not increased bad outcomes fir black women. Not birth injuries. But worrying about indulging fantasies?

Yes, all of the doctors in the NHS downed tools for months in order to write this. There is no one employed in the NHS whose job it is to write policy. The NHS can only do one thing at any one time.

It says SOME people and IF they prefer. Vagina will still be the go-to. You’re not going to hear it unless you specifically request it. It’s dramatics anyway. I know several trans men and I can’t imagine any of them actually wanting to use the term ‘front hole’. And if you really really want to request the term ‘wank pillows’ I would support your right to request language you are comfortable with.

Having sex and getting pregnant, the most female thing in the world to do, isn't triggering but using the word vagina is?

The sooner staff realise they are being played amd stop pandering to this utter nonsense the better.

Of all the things to focus on. Not staffing. Not increased bad outcomes fir black women. Not birth injuries. But worrying about indulging fantasies ?

Anything medical.should be factual, truthful etc ir informed consent cannot be achieved.

The answer should just be no. We are not doing this. Your identity matters to you amd only you its not my job or anyone else's job here to be a part of it.

Only women can give birth, all this bollocks needs to stop now.

Technically the "front hole" is where women pee, the "middle hole" is where the baby comes out and "back hole" is for feces

What complete and utter bollocks, it's called a vagina, always has been always will be ffs, get over it!

So if there were two people to whom this might have applied - and we don't know they would have objected or wanted these words - and one of those two has since desisted, and if that was as of Feb 2017, then how many people is this for now that it's April 2022?

And as someone said, what's the end point? Because we've been here before with Brighton. Since then we've been told half of our maternity services is not safe for women and babies. What's the point in this then?

To brush it away as a bit mad or benign is tempting but I think people need to be held to account for this. Or perhaps they could tell us how they're so much better and more safe for women and babies that they're at the point where they can do these activities as well? I'm sure every other maternity service in the whole country could learn, right??

It's creepy because it's using euphemisms in order to deal with an adult's embarrassment about their sexual function.

A child has no idea about the sexual function (nor should they), they just want to know the name of it.

Plus, it can be exploited so that a child can't clearly articulate that they are being abused. 'the man touched my flower' sounds innocent, but if the man also told the child that her vulva was called her flower then clearly it isn't.

Front hole just makes me want to wrinkle up my nose...

1. it's the middle
2. there's nothing wrong with the word 'Vagina'
3. If you can't use the words, are you really ready for a baby?

I mean, christ, the conversations I've had with my kids - some have definitely required a deep breath before (While I plan quite how to answer a 5 year old who asked how the baby got in my belly), and a stiff scotch after (when 9 year old learned about neutering cats and why, and asked if 'dad did that to me') - we've spent enough time blaming women for not teaching their kids the correct words for their anatomy on MN, I feel like we should at least be requiring it of adults too!