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Original poster

He/They

113 replies

BloodyloveGeorge · 30/03/2022 17:32

Bloke at work, complaining that the new pronouns policy on forms etc isn’t inclusive enough (they/them and ‘other’ then write your own included with she/be etc) Because he is ‘non-conforming’ and uses he/they or him/ them and it’s very common in his ‘community’.

So I asked him how that works, as someone who is actually gay ( he’s white, straight, male appearing) I hadn’t come across he/they before. It was a genuine non-goady question.
He said he’s happy with being addressed as either and chooses which he’ll use on the day. And that if on the day he’s being ‘they’ it would be nice if people noticed and used ‘they’.

Is this a thing now? Or is he just saying call me anything but she/her???

OP posts:
Original poster
BloodyloveGeorge · 30/03/2022 17:54

iS this just him though??? Like I said I am actuallly gay and haven’t come across this although I do know lots of gays, lesbians and trans people.

OP posts:
FrancescaContini · 30/03/2022 17:54

What an attention seeking knob

Original poster
BloodyloveGeorge · 30/03/2022 17:53

Be wears the same attire regardless of the pronou, and says he likes to tell people if it’s a he or they say. He wasn’t best pleased when I said a form that has he/him and they/them as an option should cover every eventuality.

OP posts:
stripeyflowers · 30/03/2022 17:52

I can't be bothered with it all. Flame me.

2Gen · 30/03/2022 17:48

@sacredfeminina

I think psychopaths/sociopaths (sorry dunno which one) are enjoying how much they can bend people around them to give in to their ludacrous demands
That's an excellent observation! I do find the attitudes of some of the people doing this to be either very manipulative or even bullying, and many of them do come across as perhaps having one of the Type B Personality Disorders.
KatsuKatsu · 30/03/2022 17:38

Does he wear a different hat depending on their pronouns at that time?

ZaraSizeMedium · 30/03/2022 17:37

He said he’s happy with being addressed as either and chooses which he’ll use on the day.

Did you ask how people are to know “on the day” which one he’s using that day?

DefiniteTortoise · 30/03/2022 17:36

Is there any sort of visual cue as to whether he or they is preferred on any given day?

sacredfeminina · 30/03/2022 17:36

I think psychopaths/sociopaths (sorry dunno which one) are enjoying how much they can bend people around them to give in to their ludacrous demands

RoseslnTheHospital · 30/03/2022 17:35

How on earth would anyone notice that he wants to be referred to as "they"? How is that signalled?

If the form has an Other box that allows you to enter your own choice of pronouns, then how exactly is that not being "inclusive" enough?

tabbycatstripy · 30/03/2022 17:35

I think once we’re into the territory of ‘I don’t mind/very happy with either/decide on the day’ we are a long way from a debilitating diagnosis that requires the rest of us to subordinate our sense of reality to their needs.

Ridcully82 · 30/03/2022 17:34

How do you tell how someone feels? Especially if you're using a pronoun in their absence,and it changes whilst they aren't there?

KatsuKatsu · 30/03/2022 17:34

He can just write that on the form then?

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