Male violence at the Oscars

So it turns out Will Smith is just another violent self important man. I didn't know that and I don't like this new information. But now I know.

Okay Will Smith, whatever films you make, however good they are, however many Oscars you win, however charming and entertaining you are on Graham Norton, you will be nothing much more than a violent bully, to me.

It will make no difference to him, but there you go.

People are only shocked because it was a 'good guy' that did it.

If it had been a a woman making the joke would he have got up and slapped her in front of all those people? No, he would've restrained himself, not because he didn't want to hit her but because he knew that wouldn't be accepted.

By hitting a man he can still be viewed as a 'good guy' for defending her honour.

As someone else pointed out, Chris won't press charges as it would ruin him, not Will Smith. Some money might change hand behind the scene to keep him quiet though.

I don't think it was fake. CR isn't that good an actor.

When a man shows you who he is, believe him.
Will Smith thinks he's untouchable.

I watched the unedited version.

The whole thing is weird. Very weird. The joke is nowhere near Comedy Central roast levels at all. In some ways, you could read it as Rock saying Jada looks great. I didn't read it as malevolent at all.

Yet Smith calmly walks up, hits Rock, walks back, sits down, and then pronounces his reason for hitting him, there's a silence, and then he pronounces his reason more aggressively again. And Rock is just astonished.

It struck me that Smith was maybe under the influence of something. His manner is just so odd -- almost like a kid trying to act like a tough guy, and getting it really wrong. And the time between him laughing and then making the decision to go on the stage is a few seconds at most. There's more time between the hit and him speaking afterwards.

There's also no warning that Smith is mad enough to throw a punch or furious enough to swear in public about it afterwards. Indeed, it's almost as though he's putting on an "aggressive" voice the second time he says "keep my wife's name out of your f*kin mouth ..."

It's only Rock's shock and the swearing that made me think it wasn't staged.

This incident just solidified what I feel already: that I am getting very sick of the "examples" that this particular slice of American culture is exporting across the globe. It's a form of imperialism, and I do not like it.

In this case, it is that a person can physically assault another if that other "insults" him, he can also swear in public in an aggressive manner afterwards, leaving other people in the vicinity uneasy, and this person should then be applauded for winning an award.

It stinks, and I've just had enough of it. How the heck are you supposed to teach kids that hitting is wrong with stuff like this hitting the headlines?

His true colours are ugly, poor Jada having to live with that, l don' t envy her one bit,what an appauling example to his children and fans.

He made it about him. His ego. His masculinity. That's the conversation today, and any response that she makes is always going to be in the light of his actions. She's either going to have to defend him, or express her own feelings in the context of his.

It wasn't a choice between violence and idleness.

I think Rock and Smith are both reprehensible in their behaviour.
I also think that what Rock said about Jada will affect her for a lot longer than the slap Smith gave to Rock will affect him.
Still wrong to slap but Jada is the victim here, not once but twice because of 2 awful men.

I’d expect my husband
a) not to laugh in the first instance
b) not to physically attack someone in my name.

If somebody made an offensive joke at my expense and my husband at first laughed and then decided to slap them only after seeing my reaction, I'd be upset at the person who made the joke, but I'd be horrified at my husband's over-reaction.

Neither of them are going to feel at all bad. Will's acceptance speech made it quite clear that he was not sorry.

And no matter how she actually feels, I expect she will put out a statement saying how much she loves him for being a strong husband father blah blah.

The oscars is effectively a work function for the attendees. If I went to a work do and my husband leapt up on stage amd hit someone I would be beyond mortified. Horrified.

Put it on tv as well ... honestly I feel sorry for JPS right now. The rest of her day / evening must have felt awful. Just awful

There were other options WS could've picked. He could've walked out in protest taking Jada with him, he could've taken to the stage and called him out, he could've mentioned it in his acceptance speech.

He chose to just walk up and lamp him which is not acceptable. Full stop.

The pics of him partying after makes me feel sick.

"In the context of American ‘roast’ style comedy at award shows, I didn’t think the ‘joke’ about Jada was terrible. It could even have been taken as a (albeit slightly shit) compliment since GI Jane is a strong character and both Demi and Jada look incredible with that haircut"

@Ogwen do you have alopecia?

I'm sadly unsurprised by some comments here despite this thread being on the fucking feminist board. I posted on the AIBU and will see if I can copy it here. I can absolutely understand the instinct of someone wanting to protect someone they love (wife, husband, child whatever) who has been hurt, but male violence is never acceptable. People can give justifications or reasons all they like but they are excuses. There is no excuse whatsoever for male violence. We all have instincts but it shows more strength and integrity to resist those instincts than it is to give into them.

I am in two minds about this. Both think Will Smith and his fragile male ego should have been removed, arrested.

Both also think Chris Rock deserved some kind of cummuppence for his frankly tediously long and regularly abhorrent career.

But not this. This was, in every way, inexcusable.

male violence

male on male violence and male on female violence are different categories though.

Notably, murder rates of men vary hugely by country. Murder rates of women vary less. So in countries with very low murder rates like South Korea, more women are murdered than men. I think "male violence" isn't the most useful designation. We all know on this board that there are some men who are violent and abusive and predatory to women, who wouldn't say boo to another man.

I wonder if the reverse holds? Are there some men who get in fights with other men in public who would never harm their wife? I'm inclined to think yes, although I'm not sure this is an example of it. Abusers abuse people they see as subordinates. Will Smith is clearly used to treating the entire world like they're his subordinates.

I can't defend his behaviour, but tbh I didn't mind seeing that slap. A world where everyone acted like that would clearly be a worse world, but it would also have fewer mean-spirited jokes.

At the earliest appropriate time, I would expect to him.to listen to my thoughts and feelings and support my decision about how to respond to this joke'. Being in show business, I would know that Chris Rock was following a script.

I liked Will Smith - don’t know everything about him but enjoyed watching films etc Not a fan of Chris not really liked things he’s in. (Madagascar excluded from that!)

BUT violence should never be the answer. I’m slightly concerned by the slightly tilt head brigade ahh but Chris provoked him. Will shouldn’t have hit him.

I wonder how many of the people here would have a different opinion if someone was verbally abusive to you and your husband just stood idly by.

In the context of American ‘roast’ style comedy at award shows, I didn’t think the ‘joke’ about Jada was terrible. It could even have been taken as a (albeit slightly shit) compliment since GI Jane is a strong character and both Demi and Jada look incredible with that haircut. However, it was obvious from Jada’s reaction she didn’t appreciate it, which is understandable.

I thought the ‘joke’ which immediately preceded it, about Javier Bardem getting a hard time from Penelope Cruz (whom he didn’t even bother to name except ‘his wife’) if she didn’t win Best Actress, was also pretty awful. Lazy misogyny all round, and utterly unsurprising coming from Chris Rock.

There is still no justification for hitting him, and I think it’s appalling Will Smith wasn’t immediately escorted off the premises.

"Not justifying it but that’s clearly where it came from"

Yes this is called a cycle of violence. Children who are or who witness abuse often grow up to be abusers themselves.

He has a LOT of money and could make better choices than this - therapy etc . His speech was all over the place, there is clearly a lot going on there.

The O's generate money its transmitted around the world live and then sold in segments.
Each award has a fixed time slot speeches have to be limited. They have unpaid seat fillers for people taking bathroom breaks.
If WS decided he is not moving from his seat production would have had to manage a brawl in front of the stage.

This is why we have a problem with male violence. Because so many people think it's okay in some circumstances. So the lines get blurred.

Either violence is okay or it isn't. The moment you start putting conditions on it, understanding it, you start condoning it.