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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

So how many Mothers were ‘taken out for lunch’ today, but still had to cook the family supper?

59 replies

happydappy2 · 27/03/2022 22:11

I’m very grateful I was taken out for lunch but thought it was unnecessary & expensive….would have preferred to be treated at home…husband also benefited from lunch out but when he showed no signs of cooking supper….I did it….am thinking DH missed a trick by not actually cooking a meal for us all. What’s the point of Mother’s Day after all? I have previously said please don’t let’s go out for lunch on MD it’s like going out for dinner on valentines (cheesy.) Happy Mother’s Day to all!

OP posts:
FrecklesMalone · 27/03/2022 23:53

Fuck that. Firstly who needs two big meals in a day? Secondly if we didn't go out we would have got a take away. DH also made a picnic as we went on a big walk and the teenagers made dessert and washed up.

Bobnotpop · 27/03/2022 23:48

I don’t understand this kind of post.

Why wasn’t it established at the beginning of your relationship that domestic chores are shared?

DdraigGoch · 27/03/2022 23:48

So why didn't you say 'it's Mothers Day can you make us some tea please'?

She shouldn't need to ask. Therefore she should phrase it as if it were already a fait accompli that he would be doing it.

"What were you planning for tea?"

DdraigGoch · 27/03/2022 23:41

What’s the point of Mother’s Day after all?

Wasn't it so that domestic servants could have the day off to visit their mother church? You could tell your family that you likewise will be having a day off.

watcherintherye · 27/03/2022 23:34

Got taken out for lovely lunch by dh and available progeny (card and present from absent one). Wasn’t hungry in the evening but had a bag of Tesco’s cheese and onion crisps and managed to heat up for the others the remaining slices of pizza from the Domino’s which they ordered last night while I was out for a meal with friends. So effort-wise it’s been a pretty good weekend Smile

Moppincraxy · 27/03/2022 23:20

@ThatsGoingToHurt

I wasn’t taken out for lunch (we all have covid). What has happened the past two years is that DH cooks me a full English. Except I a) when asked I requested a bacon sandwich, b) I do like a full English very occasionally but it’s far from my favourite breakfast (but it’s DHs!) and c) DH uses every single plate/pan/implement and covers everything in grease so the kitchen looks like a bomb has hit it afterwards! I then have to point out that if it creates more work for me it’s not a treat!
Why did he assume you would clear it all up afterwards? Or does he just do a half-aesed job of clearing up so you end up doing it properly?
OvaHere · 27/03/2022 23:17

I packed DH and kids off to see his Mum and mostly ate chocolate all day. No cooking or even leaving the sofa required. Grin

Scrowy · 27/03/2022 23:07

For those being weird about 'supper' it's used perfectly acceptably and with no airs and graces in some regions of the UK.

Lots of people in the farming community for example traditionally use it to describe the main evening meal as something completly separate from 'tea time' which happens at about 3 - 4pm and involves drinking tea and eating biscuits/cakes.

Not to be confused with coffee time which happens at around 10 - 10.30am at which coffee and biscuits are consumed.

When you work outside every day of the year in all weathers these breaks are a very very important part of the working day and not to be confused with each other Grin

PaganOfTheGoodTimes · 27/03/2022 23:04

DH booked lunch on Friday on the grounds that it'd be nicer if we just went with the littlest, he cooked both a late breakfast and early dinner today! Of course DM had a go about this (healso cooked her a special meal yesterday) as its not right for a man to do these things, even on mother's day... Well we've been together for 20 years so I guess he's OK with it. I haven't had to change a single nappy either Grin

BuanoKubiamVej · 27/03/2022 22:56

We went out for lunch and ate so much that no effort was required for supper. DC had beans on toast made without parental input. DH fixed himself a sandwich and I had a bit of cheese & crackers and some cherry tomatoes. Our lunch was epic and I'm surprised we had that much in the evening but I think we all just wanted a little something just to round off the day psychologically rather than having any kind of sensation of hunger.

I have not lifted a finger in effort all day.

whatever1980 · 27/03/2022 22:50

Husband went on a football weekend away with the lads. Luckily my 3 lovely girls were with me. We made cookies, ate pizza pockets and other crap food and watched movies - but I also had to wash the uniforms for school, hoover and do dishes in between all this

KimikosNightmare · 27/03/2022 22:48

@Ionlydomassiveones

I actually think if women feel that they ‘have to’ cook ‘family supper’ (whatever that is…is it pretentious way of saying ‘tea’?) then the problem lies with them. Men largely don’t burden themselves with this domestic guilt. I never have either.
Yes, the problem lies with them. Mothers Day is such a silly idea- as if one commercially marketed day off can make up for the rest of the year.

I didn't do or get or expect anything for Mother's Day. It and "Father's Day" are always ignored

I do most of the cooking and lots of baking, both of which I enjoy. I don't do any other house work or tidying up (including cleaning up behind me after I've cooked) or stacking and unloading the dishwasher.

forcedfun · 27/03/2022 22:36

I cooked lunch and supper. And did most of the childcare today. I did get breakfast in bed though. And, more importantly, DH does far more than half the house work, cooking and childcare normally. It's just a day. The overall picture is far more important.

Loginmystery · 27/03/2022 22:35

@AlsoNotAGirl thank you. I should have done that. I had originally thought I’d give myself the day off and watch tv which I never do but then looking at my rude and selfish daughter and feeling so hurt I actually went to work for a few hours. I’m working 7 days a week and I’m a single parent. Anyway I detest Mother’s Day and my birthday. Two hurtful days.

Calandor · 27/03/2022 22:33

So why didn't you say 'it's Mothers Day can you make us some tea please'?

dementedpixie · 27/03/2022 22:30

But if we had gone out for food we wouldn't have had another meal later on

AlsoNotAGirl · 27/03/2022 22:29

@Loginmystery

No one took me out. I cooked. Absolute wankers. I detest Mother’s Day. And my birthday. It’s just raw hurt.
Flowers that’s a bit shit I’m not surprised you’re hurt. Is there something you could do just for you and leave them to sort their own lunch? Even just take yourself off to a nice cafe with a book for a couple of hours?
Ionlydomassiveones · 27/03/2022 22:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

dementedpixie · 27/03/2022 22:29

Didn't go out for dinner but dh made sandwiches at lunch and then cooked dinner. He usually makes dinner anyway and I get to clear up afterwards.

PuppyMonkey · 27/03/2022 22:27

Or antipasti obviously.Grin

Vanillalatteplease · 27/03/2022 22:26

I went out for lunch with my mum & sister, drank copious amounts of wine. Came home & passed out on the couch. No idea what my husband & kids did for dinner or supper.

PuppyMonkey · 27/03/2022 22:26

The whole point of having lunch out is you don’t bother cooking tea and just have toast or something.

underneaththeash · 27/03/2022 22:25

I think people are a little passive about saying what they'd like to do.

PaperDoves · 27/03/2022 22:25

Heck no. DH always suggests lunch and I remind him I'm not cooking dinner. We had a pub lunch anyway and then had antipasti for dinner, so no one had to cook. Win/win

underneaththeash · 27/03/2022 22:25

We went out for lunch - but I booked it (which means I chose the place I wanted to eat at). We then had a jointly cooked meal in the evening.