So how many Mothers were ‘taken out for lunch’ today, but still had to cook the family supper?

[quote latetothefisting]@ReadyToMoveIt but wouldn't kids normally eat sandwiches or something smaller in school for lunch? Then a cooked meal in the evening. So even if they only ate the amount they would usually eat at home in the evening at lunch, rather than overeating, just having a smaller, cold supper/tea would be the same amount of food as they normally have in a day, just the other way around.

I don't think anyone needs 2 cooked meals a day, so don't agree OP 'needed' to cook a whole supper for anyone. She could have said she wasn't cooking, and the kids wouldn't have starved if with sandwiches/salad/beans on toast.[/quote]
Mine have school dinners then a cooked meal in the evening 🤷🏻‍♀️

@ReadyToMoveIt but wouldn't kids normally eat sandwiches or something smaller in school for lunch? Then a cooked meal in the evening. So even if they only ate the amount they would usually eat at home in the evening at lunch, rather than overeating, just having a smaller, cold supper/tea would be the same amount of food as they normally have in a day, just the other way around.

I don't think anyone needs 2 cooked meals a day, so don't agree OP 'needed' to cook a whole supper for anyone. She could have said she wasn't cooking, and the kids wouldn't have starved if with sandwiches/salad/beans on toast.

If I go out for lunch then that's the main meal and supper is get your own easy food.

Agreeing with the posters who have queried the need for anyone to cook a big evening meal after you'd been out for lunch only a few hours before. I'm not usually a MN chicken/giant salad sort of person but I rarely need much for tea after going out for lunch.

Couldn't whoever was hungry just made themselves some toast/sandwiches/cereal/cheese and crackers or whatever? Anyone of the age of 8 or so could do that themselves so no need for mum-martyring.

when he showed no signs of cooking supper….I did it

I remember doing this once or twice years ago. The thing is (and I'm not being judgmental as I've done it myself), not talking about it or minimising your own needs, leads to resentment. What I've learned personally is that our relationships and happiness start with ourselves. It's important to be responsible for our relationships. Our relationships are part of us, start with us, and reflect how we relate.

boundaries.
boundaries for what goes on in the home (cooking supper, cleanliness etc) and what you'll accept.

consequences.
consequences for breaking boundaries

.....

Why did you cook supper ? Just sit down with the remote and announce how much you love not cooking on Mother's Day

DH cooked a roast for our family and also invited my mum. I didn’t cook at all, but then I rarely cook.

The mother bit in Mothering Sunday refers to your mother church - the church of the parish in which you were born/baptised which you got leave to return to from being in service. This is why it is in lent and the date changes all the time as it follows Easter about. It expanded to mean mother as in a mum because those in service got to go home and see their mums too and I guess maybe picked flowers or took small gifts. It expanded further in our materially obsessed world to mean expensive lunches out, lots of presents, feet up day off, glare at husband and child for not sufficiently acknowledging day etc.

It always was a feast day - Sundays are not part of Lent (there's more than 40 days - count 'em!)

and if you don't want to make tea... Don't. Tell them you're having a sort it yourself evening so they can get their own and open a tin of soup for yourself.

We had our mums over for dinner on Saturday and DH cooked. I helped with the table and clearing up afterwards. Yesterday was a pretty normal Sunday. I went for an early bike ride, DH prepped the dinner and I cooked it. DS was at his girlfriend's till the afternoon and brought presents home with him. DD got up late, and went to work at 4.30, but I did get a book and card.

We cooked breakfast together (single parent, two primary kids), sorted ourselves for lunch, then had a curry (which I suppose I could have had the eldest cook, but I didn't mind doing) for dinner..

TBH I don't worry about these things, I just do just enough with the kids that they feel like they've participated, but don't put so much on it that they feel they should be doing more and worry.

We had a family lunch, takeaway at night (my choice), gorgeous bouquet and, my fave chocs. My first Mother’s Day was lovely! They aren’t all unthoughtful.

I not only didn't get taken out or a meal cooked for me, but also had to go to work, cleaning up after other mothers being treated to fucking spa breaks.

We didn’t go out for lunch as it was too hot and sunny, wanted to be lazy and enjoy the garden all day. Dh cooked dinner, but he does this half the week anyway so it wasn’t a “thing”, & I was doing toddler bath and bedtime whilst he did this.

I am planning to take myself off for a leisurely lunch next weekend

We don't go out on Mother's Day. It's not a big thing for me tbh. My dc gave me a nice card and present. Dh cooked dinner - not because it was Mother's Day, but because he often cooks dinner. Aside from a card and a present, it's always a normal Sunday with my family. I get that if you normally feel taken for granted and drudgery-laden, then it must be a disappointment not to even be allowed that one full day off though.

DH goes the other way. After 20 years of DC's he know it's his turn to cook - so he starts planning 3 big meals for the day. And lots of asking me what I would like to eat.
It's a bit performative as well as anxiety probably.

I have learnt to ignore, wave my hands in a non committal fashion and settle down with the remote.

If I engage it means I will get drawn into long discussions about irrelevant things

We didn't really have lunch as we were out all day but had snacks on the go.

Went out for a lovely dinner and dh cooked breakfast for me so I've been well looked after!

Never heard of this

Went out for a lovely lunch today at my favourite restaurant. It wasn't an obscenely heavy pub lunch or anything. Restaurant is on the fancier side, food was lovely, children very well behaved. Just had a generally lovely and easy going day. I didn't feel hard done by when I cooked my children a nice dinned and made myself a nice salad for dinner after. Sat down once they were both in bed with a coffee in my favourite mug and had a piece of cake in peace. Was a very nice day. And I'm one too usually be disappointed with Mother's Day and birthdays.

Unless they are single parents or have very small children and a co-parent who had to work they didn't "have" to cook supper.

If you don't want to cook on Mother's Day (understandable) tell the family that. They can cook, order takeaway or arrange a meal out. You don't have to cook.

My DH got light lunch together then got my youngest to help him make v nice dinner. One of the things that attracted me to him in the first place was that he was capable in the kitchen as well as extremely appreciative of good food. And he shopped for it and washed it all up afterwards with kids. Kids brought up toast and tea this morning. All good. It wasn’t a huge unusual gesture - we just share it out usually anyway. He’s a good one.

We were too full to eat tea but DH would've cooked.