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Original poster

Small event...need to vent

30 replies

Monitaurus · 25/03/2022 02:04

This evening I went to an event in a library where there was to be a discussion about LGBT ++ books, apparently as part of International Women’s Day. I dug out a few of my old lesbian books , thinking I could donate them. When I arrived I asked if my books could be displayed alongside any others that might be offered. This was rejected. The speakers turned out to be from the LGBTI collective, no visible women or lesbians . Then a man with coloured hair, and a male who identified himself as trans and a teacher explained that books were important to give young people and children role models etc. Some of the books were described, and apart from the fact that there were many on the subject of trans, there were about 2 about lesbians. I did wonder whether the one about a trans prostitute in Argentina was suitable material for use in schools. The speakers then talked about their lives, and sure enough it was all about the T. How that TW are just like cis women, like black women etc. By this time I was seething as lesbians had more or less disappeared. Eventually I got the mike and explained there had been lesbian culture in the past and how it had been destroyed over time by Trans ideology and actions. This was not popular and there was a tussle with the mike as the teacher aggressively tried to prevent me from saying any more by accusing me of believing all TW should not be in changing rooms and so on. Which is true, but I hadn’t said it. So this person did all the work and told me I had n right to say “she “wasn’t a woman, in a very male aggressive way..QED
I managed to say a bit about how young lesbians and girls are being harmed and how it would be great if afghan girls could identify out of their oppression. Two gay guys then took the mike off me and having received no support from any of the women there including the women’s officer, who reassured the men that all feminists are not like me! I know the woman and was surprised that she took this line which was the last straw so I left. With my books.
I wish I had not been so angry outwardly but the absolute nonsense in the room was just too much. Anyway just needed to talk about it but glad that maybe something alternative was heard.

OP posts:
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DameHelena · 25/03/2022 14:07

@DomesticatedZombie

OP, that sounds wonderful. I'm in Scotland; challenging sex stereotypes is definitely part of the curriculum. Girls especially benefit from learning that being female doesn't have to mean a particular set of clothes, attitudes or behaviours. Thank you for providing a rational, sensible, science-based view to counterbalance some of the highly questionable rhetoric young people face today.

FWIW I think doing 'small things locally' is the absolute bedrock of activism.

I agree with all this.
Original poster
Monitaurus · 25/03/2022 13:51

Yes zombie I feel ok about doing small things locally in a small town and I do think that individual conversations can be very useful. But I don’t have a job to lose...

OP posts:
DomesticatedZombie · 25/03/2022 13:34

You're inspiring me to think about ways we could offer new or alternative narratives to girls locally. Challenge sexism, etc. In some ways, it's depressing, because I thought we'd done all this already. But it seems those limiting stereotypes have sprung back up again with a vengeance.

DomesticatedZombie · 25/03/2022 13:32

OP, that sounds wonderful. I'm in Scotland; challenging sex stereotypes is definitely part of the curriculum. Girls especially benefit from learning that being female doesn't have to mean a particular set of clothes, attitudes or behaviours. Thank you for providing a rational, sensible, science-based view to counterbalance some of the highly questionable rhetoric young people face today.

FWIW I think doing 'small things locally' is the absolute bedrock of activism.

Original poster
Monitaurus · 25/03/2022 13:22

Thanks all. I will go back after I have calmed down a bit. I did ask the librarian where the feminist books were, especially the ones I donated a few years ago....currently being reorganised apparently. My next event is a session in the local secondary school with a session on Sex not Gender... we will see how that turns out! I will keep to the facts about biological sex, stereotypes and feelings all being different . Any other ideas very welcome. It is good to be able to do small things locally, and I am beyond the point of caring what anyone thinks of me,. But appreciate the support form everyone here.

OP posts:
DameHelena · 25/03/2022 10:52

@RhubarbCrumbled

Please complain about this to the head of your library service especially about the aggressiveness of the speaker. It's not a small thing, it's huge. If it was seen to be successful then it will be run again and again.

I'm not sure how much you'd want to, but often libraries are available for the public to run their own reading related events - maybe a lesbian author visit or LGBA event? Counter their bullshit!

I agree, please log a formal complaint. Aggression has no place in this context. And good for you for standing up to them.
DomesticatedZombie · 25/03/2022 09:38

OP, I'm really sorry. You were brave to stand up to them.

It's horrific that people get away with lesbophobia - seems to be the last remaining acceptable prejudice. Aside from generaly misogyny, of course, which apparently never goes out of style.

Igmum · 25/03/2022 09:18

Well done OP. Of course kids need role models in the literature but this means lesbian role models too not a trans takeover

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 25/03/2022 09:05

@MarshmallowSwede

Trans women are not like black women. Black women are women and comparing them to men is extremely racist.

The TRAs don’t get that they are not only are they mysogynistic, they are also racist and continuing to use black women as some sort of example to compare themselves to shows this.

How do they not get this? And people need to call this out. I’m really aware of this because I have friends who have spoken tk me about this conflating trans women to black women and racist implications implying somehow black women aren’t “real” women.

Absolutely. This is why I always use the single word ‘transwomen’ rather than ‘trans women’, when I have to use that expression in order not to be deleted. I know it’s a subtle difference, probably too subtle when actually it would be better not to call males women at all.
thinkingaboutLangCleg · 25/03/2022 09:00

@RhubarbCrumbled

Please complain about this to the head of your library service especially about the aggressiveness of the speaker. It's not a small thing, it's huge. If it was seen to be successful then it will be run again and again.

I'm not sure how much you'd want to, but often libraries are available for the public to run their own reading related events - maybe a lesbian author visit or LGBA event? Counter their bullshit!

Good advice, Rhubarb.

And well done for speaking up as you did, Monitaurus. I admire you, and I suspect I wouldn’t have had the courage. I think you will have raised a lot of people’s consciousness in the audience, even though they didn’t have the guts to support you openly.

MarshmallowSwede · 25/03/2022 08:52

I’m sorry you were treated this way OP. It’s as if lesbians don’t exist anymore, and if you do then you had better be ok with dating men who feel like women.

We are living in ridiculous times.

MarshmallowSwede · 25/03/2022 08:51

Trans women are not like black women. Black women are women and comparing them to men is extremely racist.

The TRAs don’t get that they are not only are they mysogynistic, they are also racist and continuing to use black women as some sort of example to compare themselves to shows this.

How do they not get this? And people need to call this out. I’m really aware of this because I have friends who have spoken tk me about this conflating trans women to black women and racist implications implying somehow black women aren’t “real” women.

MyLittlePhonyPony · 25/03/2022 08:49

Unothing to add op other than that's amazing bravery on your part op and that the visuals of you being forcibly silenced won't be good optics for the supposed 'be kind' side.
I wonder if anyone got any video footage?

aweegc · 25/03/2022 08:37

Wow OP! That was brilliant! I'd never have had the courage to get up there and say what you did (had I been there I'd have supported you though).

I also think it could be worth speaking to the head of the library. Possibly asking for a meeting. Possibly asking for a lesbian awareness event - focussed on lesbian authors (obviously they won't be trans because they've already actually had a trans-based evening..). Or to discuss freedom if speech in libraries and how alternative voices should not have mics physically wrestled from them.

However, I think you've been so brave already nobody can ask for anything more. I honestly had to read the sentence again to check I'd not misunderstand that you'd gone on mic with that. Total hero in my books!

Beamur · 25/03/2022 08:35

Blimey. I am amazed at your fearlessness! Lesbians really have been sidelined in the LGBTI agenda haven't they. Despite being the 'L'.

Charley50 · 25/03/2022 08:19

@GeneLovesJezebel

I wonder if the LGB will ever want to distance themselves from the T ?
Well yes. That's why the LGB Alliance was formed.

Well done OP. You put yourself out there as supposedly part of that community and we're aggressively shut down. Shame on those people.

Robin843 · 25/03/2022 08:14

Well done you. That took a lot of courage.

GeneLovesJezebel · 25/03/2022 08:13

I wonder if the LGB will ever want to distance themselves from the T ?

tabbycatstripy · 25/03/2022 08:09

If they physically took the mike away from you when you were speaking lawfully and not threatening anyone, that could be assault.

ChopinBoard · 25/03/2022 07:39

That was actually stunning and brave of you op, well done. Agree with the poster who suggested you complain.

lovelyweathertoday · 25/03/2022 07:38

Gah, something happening

lovelyweathertoday · 25/03/2022 07:38

At the very least they will now have a niggling feeling of someone happening there that wasn't quite right.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 25/03/2022 07:34

Well done, you have ovaries to do that Thanks I expect that there were people there who secretly agreed with you, most people aren't as brave as you though.

ArcheryAnnie · 25/03/2022 07:29

Bloody well done for speaking out. I'm sorry that the event was so shit.

(Am glad you took your books home with you. I donated my hard-to-find, out-of-print collection of lesbian books to the Glasgow Women's Library, and look what happened there!)

NonnyMouse1337 · 25/03/2022 07:21

That took some courage to speak out like that. Hopefully it made at least one person think about what's going on around them. Awful how same-sex orientation has been hijacked and lesbians have been pushed out and erased from these kinds of events.