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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Are the wife and children really fine?

507 replies

DancingBarefootOnIce · 22/03/2022 08:03

A man I used to be close friends with recently came out as a transwoman on Facebook. I was a bit surprised as when I knew them in their 20s they were just a typical man. They’re now mid 30s and married to a woman with three children.

Anyway in their post the second sentence was something along the lines of “Don’t worry my wife and children are fine”. I’ve seen it before in stories like this or when someone comes out as gay.
It’s almost like there’s going to be an accusation of homophobia or transphobia if they’re not alright with it. It just doesn’t feel right. If my partner or father came out with something like that it would change so many things in thinking about past relationships etc.

OP posts:
TheWeeDonkey · 22/03/2022 20:11

@SoftDay

ElaineFuchs, I honestly can't fiure out whether you are:
  • a true genderist zealot whose every post reveals the lunacy and authoiritarian absolutism of your ideology;
  • a gender critical plant whose every post seeks to highlight the lunacy and authoritarian absolutism of this ideology; or
  • a person who knows very well that he or she is spouting utter bilge but is revelling in the vicious misogny and homophobia that are intrinsic to this lunatic, authoritarian and absolutist ideology.

Either way, I've started to find your posts actually amusing now. On account of the lunacy, authoritarianism and absolutism being laid so bare. Naked as an ash tree in the moon of May it is.

Just one piece of advice though to you and all your fellow activists: lay off the accusations of various "isms" against people for their sexual preferences (and, indeed, orientations). Guess what - equality legislation and principles do not apply to the ride. Everybody reading this should note the attempts to police and break down people's boundaries around their bodies and sexual availability. It is a persistent and prevalent theme of certain ideologies currently being pushed in society.

My guess is an AGP male who threw a grenade in his family's life and spends every waking minute justifying it.

Just, ya know. Reading between the lines.

DrSbaitso · 22/03/2022 20:11

I love how, after flailing around like mad all day and having her Newspeak and cognitive dissonance completely torn asunder, Tea has finally just gone to "a horse is an umbrella" like that just settles it.

War is peace. Freedom is slavery. I am Angelina Jolie.

DrSbaitso · 22/03/2022 20:09

Trans women are women.

Then why do they need the prefix?

EndaDay · 22/03/2022 20:05

A man is born with a cock.
If he retains that cock he is a man
If he has his cock snipped off, he is a man sans cock
If he is pumped full of hormones, he is a man pumped full of hormones.

That's it really.

Annette32123 · 22/03/2022 20:02

@TeaKlaxon

If you’re not trans then you’re cis. Sorry about it.

Arguing otherwise is about as tiresome as straight people arguing there shouldn’t be a word to describe people not being gay or bi.

Well you can be homosexual or heterosexual.

You can be a man or a woman.

Within the category of man you can be a man or a transwomen.

Within the category of woman you can be a woman or a transman.

No more is needed. Women who do not identify as women are called transmen. There doesn’t need to be another word for them because the transmen don’t want to be called women. Men who do not identify as men are called transwomen. There doesn’t need to be another word for them because the transwomen don’t want to be called men. Again, no other word is needed. It’s perfectly clear to all.

SamphiretheStickerist · 22/03/2022 20:02

Ah, but @AngelinaFibres we have already been told that is not true.

OK, the article linked to said something entirely different - it was about how difficult it is to distinguish sex of a skeleton when the origins are hitherto unknown. But hey! WhHo are we, weak and feeble wimmin to argue?!

SamphiretheStickerist · 22/03/2022 20:00

This is a Public Service Post, for those wearying of the overuse of twaddle and balderdash

Twaddle noun : synonyms
Gibberish
Claptrap
Blather
Blether
Tripe
Hogwash
Baloney
Drivel
Bilge
Bosh
Bunk
Guff
Piffle
Poppycock
Codswallop
Cack
Havers
Flapdoodle
Bunkum
Tommyrot
Hooey
Gibberish
Toffee
Billocks
Crapola
Bullshit

Fear not that ye will run out of sniggersome verbiage.

Public Service /ends

AngelinaFibres · 22/03/2022 19:54

[quote PinaColada123456]@TeaKlaxon Trans women are not women. You can't and won't get away with that lie. Trans women are MEN. Biology, via chromosomes, DNA, orthopaedically. A trans woman is a man. This is fact that you simply can't re-write, no matter how brainwashed you are by ideology and programming. A little thing called biological science gets in the way of your fantasy.[/quote]
Archaeologist on the radio a few days ago . He made a very interesting point. If you die as a transwoman and you are buried in your costume of 'woman' that's all fine. But, if your body is exhumed in 100 years time ( as HS2 bodies are being exhumed now) all that would be left is your skeleton. Your pelvis, your leg length, your skull size, your jaw would identify you as what you are ....a man.

Annette32123 · 22/03/2022 19:53

@ElaineFuchs

It's hard to believe that people here are really saying that discriminating against someone purely because of the color of their skin isn't racist. Now I really have seen it all.

Of course, you can exclude who you like from your dating pool. But that doesn't stop excluding people just because of their race being racist. You're free to exclude all trans people, but excluding people because they're trans is transphobic. You can't have it both ways.

Why do you have such a desire to make windows into the souls of men (and women)?

Are you the thought police?

People can think whatever they like. They can act however they like in respect of dating preferences. You cannot and should not seek to see into their souls.

Everything you have written on this thread is twaddle. But you know that I’m sure!

AngelinaFibres · 22/03/2022 19:43

@EndaDay

In the next century, there will be books laughing at or dissecting-or both-the madness of all this shite.

It will be seen as a fucking big marker on civilisation's path to ruin.

I will never ever refer to a man as a woman. Never.

I will boycott any literary prize such as The Women's Prize for Fiction that last year included some shit by a man

I pray for the day when a man pretending to be a woman enters a major sporting event like Wimbledon and knocks every woman out of the game as surely this will bring things to a head .

I will not use any changing room where men are invited to go and change alongside women.

I will piss in the street before I'll use a women's loo that men can go in and if I can find the fucker who is responsible, I'll hold on until I can piss on his chips.

I watch BookTube and I will boycott any female "ally" who promotes fake women's books written by men and who, like one woman old enough to know better, apologise for saying they liked Harry Potter as a child and assuring people that they do not support her and would never buy books by her.

I'll boycott any firm that pays lip service to this dangerous nonsense.

I won't vote for any party who cannot define a woman

I will ignore pricks who put their preferred pronouns on paper and will always cross out anything that asks if I am a woman, including Trans.

There are more actual women than there are men pretending to be women and their allies so really all we have to do is make even more noise and vote with our money. I say "all we have to do" the trans lobby make a lot of noise for so small a group but we just have to shout louder.

Born with a cock=Man. Born without=Woman.

All of this with bloody bells on. Great big , Westminster Abbey sized bells.
Mummyoflittledragon · 22/03/2022 19:37

@TeaKlaxon

Trans is a prefix. Confirmation. See question is trans a prefix or an adjective.

Are the wife and children really fine?
SeIky · 22/03/2022 19:35

@TeaKlaxon

If you’re not trans then you’re cis. Sorry about it.

Arguing otherwise is about as tiresome as straight people arguing there shouldn’t be a word to describe people not being gay or bi.

Surely if a transwoman can insist that they're to be called a woman and everyone must respect that, I (as a woman) can insist the term cis is offensive and must not be used to describe me?

If not, why not?

PinaColada123456 · 22/03/2022 19:34

@DownWhichOfLate

How?! How are transwomen actually women?! Why would they need surgery and hormones if they actually truly were?! The madness.
Yep, more than that, they'd have to alter the makeup and nucleus of DNA, and Chromosomes. It's simply not even possible.
picklemewalnuts · 22/03/2022 19:33

@TeaKlaxon of course transwomen aren't women. The clue is in the name.
Woman is not the same as transwoman, or you wouldn't need the 'trans' bit. What a weird thing to say.

AngelinaFibres · 22/03/2022 19:33

@Movingonup22

Well it’s never a transman coming out being happily supported by his husband is it???
Transmen in general seem to just quietly get on with their lives without demanding anything much at all . They don't seem to need to shove themselves into male sports( wonder why that is) or to shout and yell about their rights. Presumably that's because they started off as women and are used to all that comes with that. Transwomen on the other hand ,started as men .....and doesn't it bloody show.
DownWhichOfLate · 22/03/2022 19:30

How?! How are transwomen actually women?! Why would they need surgery and hormones if they actually truly were?! The madness.

PinaColada123456 · 22/03/2022 19:30

@TeaKlaxon Trans women are not women. You can't and won't get away with that lie. Trans women are MEN. Biology, via chromosomes, DNA, orthopaedically. A trans woman is a man. This is fact that you simply can't re-write, no matter how brainwashed you are by ideology and programming. A little thing called biological science gets in the way of your fantasy.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/03/2022 19:28

But @TeaKlaxon There.Is.No.Such.Thing.As.Cis!

A transgender woman is just that. A transgender woman. I am a woman.

NoraEphronsNeck · 22/03/2022 19:27

This happened in my family. He went around telling everyone the wife and kids were fine. It's part of the script to convince everyone they've done the right thing. They categorically were not okay.

The wife is devastated after 40 years of marriage and the adult sons are bewildered and have no desire to see their father in his new incarnation.

Of course their church think he's stunning and brave.

PinaColada123456 · 22/03/2022 19:27

@TeaKlaxon Yes it does work and has worked for centuries and decades, so why is now any different?

TheWeeDonkey · 22/03/2022 19:27

@TeaKlaxon

If you’re not trans then you’re cis. Sorry about it.

Arguing otherwise is about as tiresome as straight people arguing there shouldn’t be a word to describe people not being gay or bi.

What about if you're non binary? Or gender queer? Or gender fluid? Or xi or zer or gender expansive?

What about them? Literally denying peoples existence....SMH 😒

EndaDay · 22/03/2022 19:27

In the next century, there will be books laughing at or dissecting-or both-the madness of all this shite.

It will be seen as a fucking big marker on civilisation's path to ruin.

I will never ever refer to a man as a woman. Never.

I will boycott any literary prize such as The Women's Prize for Fiction that last year included some shit by a man

I pray for the day when a man pretending to be a woman enters a major sporting event like Wimbledon and knocks every woman out of the game as surely this will bring things to a head .

I will not use any changing room where men are invited to go and change alongside women.

I will piss in the street before I'll use a women's loo that men can go in and if I can find the fucker who is responsible, I'll hold on until I can piss on his chips.

I watch BookTube and I will boycott any female "ally" who promotes fake women's books written by men and who, like one woman old enough to know better, apologise for saying they liked Harry Potter as a child and assuring people that they do not support her and would never buy books by her.

I'll boycott any firm that pays lip service to this dangerous nonsense.

I won't vote for any party who cannot define a woman

I will ignore pricks who put their preferred pronouns on paper and will always cross out anything that asks if I am a woman, including Trans.

There are more actual women than there are men pretending to be women and their allies so really all we have to do is make even more noise and vote with our money. I say "all we have to do" the trans lobby make a lot of noise for so small a group but we just have to shout louder.

Born with a cock=Man. Born without=Woman.

TeaKlaxon · 22/03/2022 19:24

@Whatsnewpussyhat

There’s no such thing as a ‘transman’ or ‘transwoman’. Trans is an adjective. It is therefore a standalone word to describe people whose gender identity doesn’t align with the sex they were assigned (or even observed…) at birth

Even if that was the case, using your logic, we should then use 'trans man' to describe men who claim to be women, because they are men who are trans.

I don’t agree. Trans women are women.

But at least you’re getting your head around the fact that there are trans people and therefore there must be non-trans people. And so adjectives to describe those two groups are necessary.

TeaKlaxon · 22/03/2022 19:23

[quote PinaColada123456]**@TeaKlaxon* But if there are transgender people, by definition there must be people who are not transgender.*

Yes there is. They are...... woman, and man . Words that have been in English usage for centuries.

How about that? Woman, and man. Wow. The English language is fascinating isn't it.[/quote]
That doesn’t work because most transgender are also either a man or a woman. Even if you disagree with my view about which of those things they are, we are agreed I presume that most trans people are either men or women.

So if there are men who are transgender it must follow there are men who are not transgender. And if we’re discussing the rights of those two groups we need to have adjectives to describe them.

Words like transgender and cisgender.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 22/03/2022 19:20

There’s no such thing as a ‘transman’ or ‘transwoman’. Trans is an adjective. It is therefore a standalone word to describe people whose gender identity doesn’t align with the sex they were assigned (or even observed…) at birth

Even if that was the case, using your logic, we should then use 'trans man' to describe men who claim to be women, because they are men who are trans.