AIBU? Trans friend....

I am trying to make it not sounds as bad as it is. I am not stupid I know women don't have a penis. He's 14 just with maybe asd and if I found normal porn then yeah usually. But what I found was gay porn and that. I know nothing about trans people or anything to do with that stuff. So was asking for advice as others might know what's wrong with him.
Does it mean he's gay, bi or am I going to find him in his sisters clothes.

Sal
Sal

WTF should he be using the women’s toilet? Sort out behaviour of men, stop demanding women “move over”.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1354153--to-think-a-four-year-old-should-be-allowed-to-eat-cake-at-a-birthday-party

🤷🏼‍♀️

You could have "The Talk". The one about puberty, sex and privacy

Below are some books which may help you use the correct terms for each body part.

www.google.com/search?ie=UTF-8&client=ms-android-samsung-rev2&source=android-browser&q=amazon+male+puberty+books#scso=_sao8YvClCcuD8gKMza7gAQ3:0

@waterlego
Fair point. Sal it sounds like he might be into men with boobs, not women with tackle!

....have since read update, and am very pleased that you and your friend are getting to have the night out that you originally planned. Well done your friend, for insisting on this.

Both of you just tell him that you've now got other commitments, so you can't go with him that night.

...of course, your "other commitments" are having the night out you originally planned, without having to have it hijacked by a raging narcissist, but you needn't mention that to him.

Can anyone help me I just searched trans in the search and it came up with this.
I have found out that my son likes women with men's private parts. What does that mean is he gay or curious.

Any advice

Sal

There is so much obfuscation on this issue

"Why are women targeting transpeople? They're not the problem!"

"Why do you think men would go to the effort of pretending to be trans just to get to women when it's so unlikely?"

"A man dressed as a woman would be abused by men in man's space!"

What can I say, to begin with we've all thought that ourselves, live and let live we thought.
Then there's the dawning realisation that...

a) Yes actually men evidently have pretended to be trans to get what they want and it does happen.
b) Some men are truly dysphoric and genuinely believe themselves 100% to be "a woman" and are in fact transwomen, but they too commit male-pattern crimes like any other male, transwomen commit the same crimes at the same rate as men.
They vast majority can also impregnate women just like any other man.
c) most men aren't in fact that fussed about a bloke in a dress standing and peeing next to them at the urinal. That's blatant hyperbole. What's wrong with safe third spaces? You get shouted down and for a suggestion as benign as that.
Then finally d) you give up. You tried being kind but you end up thinking there's just no point allowing some men but not others into any woman's space, no matter why or what for. The risks are there, they exist, TWANW, ever, never can be and never will be.

Anyway, sorry for the derail. OP I hope you have/had a nice time with your friend!

@IvorCutler I don't think the issue of trans women using women's toilets is about someone BECOMING trans in order to commit a crime. It is the fact that a man who simply presents as trans would be permitted to enter the women's toilets, because what he feels inside is perceived as more important than what others can see with their eyes. So a man who wants to attack a woman can go into a women's safe space unchecked, because he says he is trans/presents as trans. If no men are permitted to enter the women's toilets, then women do not have to constantly be on their guard, or make quick decisions about who might be there specifically to hurt them and who is there to have a pee. If a man walked into the toilets dressed as a stereotypical man, I'd be out of there sharpish. But if a man walked into the toilets presenting as a woman, I would probably try to act casually, not wanting to make them feel uncomfortable. I would let my guard down - unwillingly - but I'd let it down all the same. Chances are the person is there for a pee. But how do I really know that for certain?

I completely understand women wanting safe spaces, particularly if they’ve experienced harassment or assault previously, I’m just not sure that trans women are the right target

Target is an interesting term. Implies hitting or aiming for a specific goal. The OPs senerio illustrates an interesting dilema, rejection, support, transphobia, sexism and questions on personal responsibility.

Firstly can your define what "becoming trans" or "being trans" means and what is your line between personal responibilty and legal rights and obligations? The OPs box and lable may be very different from yours, after all the OP is supporting a female seeking access to male single sex spaces.

The discussion is then not about who fits into your box labled trans woman and everybody's personal responibilty its about legal rights and obligations. Its about how society balances conflicts of rights.

Simple question
What type of activists/people believes that a male
•would train for years in the medical profession then
•go on to specialise in forensic evidence collection then
•go into a room with a girl / boy / woman / man then
•insert his body parts and instruments into that person, who had been sexually abused,
•after he has been informed that the consent for the evidence collection was dependent on it being carried out by a woman?

That was a position of Scotish elected members voting on legislation, debating about using sex or gender in an Act.

The position taken was that using the word sex excluded that male from that evidence collection room and the victims body. Not that he would choose to self exclude rather that the State is discrimination against him by providing the victim/witness a choice around who carries out the evidence collection process.

The position taken is based on the presumption that the male lacks ethics or morals not to commit assault (common or sexual). That if given the choice and legal protection to act that the male would engage in a deliberate deception and subsequently give testimony, under oath, in a Court of Law. That his witness testimony should be relied upon to obtain a criminal conviction against the accused.

@VaddaABeetch Yes, I believe from some reports it's 97% of transwomen retain their penis and testicles.

we can go into our toilets in hot pants, trousers, mini skirts whatever in confidence of being left alone to do our business.

if men cant handle a man in a skirt thats there problem to deal with, its not ours, and its bollocks anyway never hear of men getting the shit kicked out of them in the bogs for wearing a kilt so its willful victim playing in the hopes women will take pity on them and "be kind" they can fuck off with that and deal with their own problems with each other in their own toilets.

Yes, it is a cutesy phrase used to minimise the reality of an extremely serious, invasive surgery. It is hardly surprising that only a tiny proportion of male people who identify as women would undergo it.

... and in both cases the cheery, folksy euphemisms are designed to obscure the reality that both are major surgery with poor outcomes and a high chance of post-surgical complications, e.g. infection, nerve damage, chronic pain.

334bu

I understand the procedure, just never heard it called "bottom surgery".

Sorry testicle and scrotum

Surgical removal of testicle and inversion of penis to form a facsimile of a vagina.

"bottom surgery"??

@PinaColada123456 what’s truely Trans? My understanding is that 90% of Trans Women have no ‘bottom’ surgery?