"Be Kind"

I see a previous poster has already mentioned my chosen take on 'be kind' - 'you first'.

I just prefer 'don't be a dick' in general, because it applies to everyone and is what we should strive to do, rather than thinking anyone has to constantly 'be kind' and put others first. That's not real life.

An abusive family member had as a password 'benicetome'. We were always told we had to be nice to this person who was a horrid bully.

Someone on here once wrote:
Be fair, set boundaries

Be kind is bs.

I don't like 'don't be a dick', either, mostly because it immediately brings to mind the moustachioed man in the Wi Spa who responded to the magnificent rant of Cubana Angel complaining about the man with his penis out in front of women and girls with 'you're being a dick'.

"Be kind -> Woman, doormat thyself."
Yup.

*I remember a meme which "if you can be anything in this worldbe kindbe financially independent and clear about your boundaries."
Love this

My response is "you first". Or Fuck Off. Depending on who says it.

I remember a meme which "if you can be anything in this world be kind be financially independent and clear about your boundaries."

And that pretty much sums up my feelings on Be Kind.

I think "wind your neck in" or "stop being a dick" are both better phrases.

I try to be kind but hate the way it is used these days, as in "be kind to poor men who think they have been born in the wrong body".
I would prefer to be kind to the young women who are having their sports taken away from them, the traumatised women who can't access male-free refuges, the women who have to share space in prison with men, the children who are being lied to and told they can change sex if they don't conform to the gender stereotype, the women who are having their achievements taken from them by men (such as the first woman 4 star admiral in the US), their prizes, their scholarships, their hopes and dreams. :( Sod hashtag Bekind.

The word "kind" derives from the same source as 'kin', and to be kind originally meant to treat someone as a family member or relative.

To which I answer: why the hell should anyone treat a stranger as though they were a family member? The notion is ludicrous.

Be kind -> Woman, doormat thyself.

Our school parrots out ‘be kind’ without caveats and I just think it’s so fucking lazy. I often am saying ‘no, be respectful, if it’s deserving.’ If a creepy man is touching their knee, I don’t want them to ‘be kind’, I want them to scream and shout and bite if they need to. If someone is trampling all over their boundaries - I don’t want them to be kind, I want them to be firm, resolute and rage if they need to.

I’ve always been a people pleaser, and I always get that rush of adrenaline when I do stick up for myself - it feels like I’m being unreasonable, I think others think that of women too, when they say no. I don’t want that for my kids.

Teaching ‘be kind’ with no caveats sounds all very nice, but it is not preparing them for life, to speak up for themselves or to have boundaries.

People who either have used the #BeKind hashtag or have their pronouns in their social media profile tend to be the worst online bullies.

Don't Be A Dick seems very appropriate, given the preponderance of dicks demanding that women BeKind.

I loathe "Be Kind". I was brought up to serve and be a "people pleaser" in a house of boys basically . This led me to stay in several abusive relationships for far too long. Fuck Be Kind. I am teaching my daughter not to put tge needs of boys (and some girls)first and to consider what is best for her . Got to say ,it is a challenge to do this when that bloody drippy mantra is everywhere.

'Be kind' means 'Espouse my views and let the people I consider worthy or important do and say whatever the hell they like, at your exense'.

Since being on here and reading about certain things my immediate reaction to seeing/hearing "be kind" is to think #nothankyou

Agreed “be kind” is crap and I feel the same.

I am kind, it’s important to be kind. I’ll teach my kids to be kind. But the “be kind” slogan and the way it’s used is obnoxious.

Being 'kind' can actually be quite complicated. As a slogan its fairly meaningless, because what is 'kind' depends utterly on context.

It can be 'kind' to put down an animal that is suffering and will not recover.

It can be 'kind' to defend someone being bullied.

It can be 'kind' to tell the truth even though it may hurt someone.

It can be 'kind' to say no and allow a child to be upset about that.

If we're going to teach 'be kind' then I think we need to start with some more robust ethics lessons.

Is not that simple either. I had to step in at primary as my Dd was “be kinded” into supporting a friend with anxiety which was lovely and everything but ended up being to her detriment. I only realised when I helped out on a school trip the extent of what was being expected of her and another girl. They were missing important lessons and fun activities themselves to help this child - all the focus was on the child as her mum was all over it and understand lanky very pushy about her own child. Not a thought to the impact on the helpers - my Dd was missing a lot of maths which she could ill afford. Probably a bitch but I put a stop to it and have been cynical of this “be kind” thing for children ever since.

I always go with 'be fair'.