Why can’t we let the words go and start separating by DNA

I know that tone can be lost online.

I used to think I knew I could say what a woman was. But every scientific arguement I thought could be advanced to advocate the definition of women is wrong, or misleading, or outdated. This has been aggressively parroted at me hundreds of times. It has worn me down too much and I don't know what there is to say anymore.

Well done those of you still trying to fight for the idea we exist.

Maybe this is just a sensitive topic as a very tall, not very fem, XX woman who has some genuine concerns that this could lead to women not letting me into bathrooms.
I seriously doubt that you have had any problems. Humans (or at least women) are very good at noticing sex. However, it is far more likely you would encounter problems nowadays when gender norms are becoming so fixed. NOW, women are being "mistaken" as non-binary or trans if they are not female presenting enough. This is a huge step backwards.

"There is no such thing as man or woman. Gender and/or sex have been invented. But also, scientifically, there are loads of sexes."

Oooh, that's interesting! are there loads of sexes in eg, cows, too? It must make life very complicated for farmers.

but how do you determine who these 'men' are (meaning transwomen)? Are you just wanting female bathrooms only to be available to sufficiently fem people? If a 'man' (transwoman) passes as female, then that's ok? If a woman is butch, then that's not ok?
Maybe this is just a sensitive topic as a very tall, not very fem, XX woman who has some genuine concerns that this could lead to women not letting me into bathrooms.

Well we certainly don't win by backing down. We win by using the word woman only for women. Consistently, every single time we talk about women we use women. And we use men for men.

What would you do with those people who are XXY, XXYY etc?

I just do not get the threat. I'm happy to have transwomen in female bathrooms. Men who want to come in and be violent, will do it regardless of rules, norms etc.

I wonder how certain oppressive regimes work out who the women and girls are?

So you'd all be happy to send someone who looks female, who's been raised female, who likely 'feels' female, into a men's bathroom just because they have Swyer syndrome and therefore have XY chromosomes?

When I think about what it is to be a woman. To be XX. It’s not my name. Or my hair. Or my voice. It’s not my job. My muscles. My fat distribution. My salary. It’s not even my ability to give birth. Or the fact I have breasts. It’s not the fact I can get ovarian cancer. It’s not my hormones. Or the fact I’m more likely to be a victim of domestic abuse and rape. It’s not that once upon a time I couldn’t vote. It’s not that I could go through dangerous FGM in certain countries. Bring a woman is something else in my opinion. Something that I can’t put into words. Something that you can’t pick and can’t buy.

My DNA builds me and other women to be very different to men. The way we work, the way we look, the way we smell, the way we feel. A person with XY will never know what it’s like to be a woman. No more than I can know what it’s like to be a man.

That doesn't mean that we should agree to pretend that the only way we can identify someone as a woman is by her chromosomes though. Having breasts (naturally), a uterus, being able to give birth does mean you're a woman. That doesn't mean there aren't women without those things, but anyone with those things is a woman. I am a woman. I'm not an 'XX' - because that's a scientific description of female chromosomes, it's not what an adult human female is called.

Bring a woman is something else in my opinion. Something that I can’t put into words. Something that you can’t pick and can’t buy.

That's beginning to sound a lot like what the TRAs say. Being a woman isn't something indefinable or hard to describe. A woman is an adult human female, of the class of human beings who have ovaries, produce eggs and have babies.

In most cases I’m not worried about chromosomes. It’s penises that I don’t want to share my space with.

So how do you get your chromosomes checked?

Also, remember this is not only about excluding transwomen from female space, it would also force transmen to use female facilities. These are transmen, i.e., likely XX and therefore would be in your bathrooms and female-only spaces.
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Except a) very few people know their chromosomes and b) some conditons mean XX can present male and XY as female (e.g., Swyer syndrome), so it's impractical and doesn't solve anything.

But then I have no science specialism. I thought there was male/female, and then additional conditions or ongoing medical circumstances related to chromosomes or being intersex, that I couldn't claim any knowledge of beyond a surface reading in the media.

But any scientific parameters I advanced, in those hours I spend in those debates, were apparently obselete, or outdated, or offensive. The skeleton, DNA, biology, sex, atheletics, genetics - none of it trumps feelings.

So I've stopped debating, because I'm tired, and sad, and worn down. Women is not a thing you can define anymore.