Email from teacher: Child has come out as non binary

If you continue to maintain that the categories of "man" and "woman" are strictly based on "biological sex", then no, you are not non-binary.

And that's you denying someone's gender identity. At least try and be consistent.

You seem to have missed the memo that gender and sex are different.

Of course, it wouldn't surprise me, in the slightest, if you did think that people with uteruses can inseminate people with penises.

I've heard non binary defined in many different ways, and often these definitions don't add up to the same thing.

If you believe "man" is a social category which is separate from your biological sex, why would it be a problem to have your biological sex acknowledged?

[quote Lekisa658]@Helleofabore
“So, YOU are posting that a same sex attracted person is a 'sexual deviant'. Is that what you really think? and you are projecting that on to others?”

I mean, that's how you treat trans people. You think the exact same forms of abuse that were aimed at gay people before, are perfectly okay when they're aimed at trans people instead.[/quote]
You really are putting your deeply prejudiced views onto posters on this thread.

Your prejudice seems very tightly held. Are you sure you are not projecting your own hateful beliefs here?

I mean, seriously, you really seem to not have a balanced or evidenced view on the topics that you are posting on. You seem to only ever cast derogatory remarks on what YOU believe others are thinking. There is absolutely no engagement at all. None.

But, please do continue the live demonstration of the tactics deployed for years by extremist activists. It is great for those many, many people reading along.

This is nonsense. That's not what non-binary means at all. Non-binary is about not identifying with the categories of "man" and "woman" in the first place.

What does that even mean? They're just the words describing biological sex. What do these people think they are rejecting, exactly? There must be something that means they don't like being called by the name for their biological sex? And some sort of rationale that makes sense to others?

So... how far does this extend, this attitude that you're basically a fascist to believe that words have meanings and that reality exists? Is it only gender? Does transubstantiation get a pass, or is that just silly? Can I say that I'm a human-shaped giraffe, if I sincerely wish to live my best giraffe life? If other people have to accept my personal definitions of words, do I have to accept theirs? Or do we just fight it out, or run away from each other back to our bedrooms?

You... don't, though?

Really? Why?

That is a really transphobic post actually.

By the way, as I have asked before, are you a spokesperson for trans people? Because, we know and talk to quite a few trans people who completely disagree with you.

So, it is just as well that we don't make any negative generalisations about a community or a group, because we know that the political agenda you are pushing is held by extremist activists.

And if we listened to you, in any of your posts, we would think that trans people all hold your extreme and unevidenced views.

How many sexes do you think the human race has?

Being a bioesesstialist who believes "man" and "woman" are "sex-based" categories is being the binary's enforcer.

I'm definitely non-binary. In every sense of the word, which apparently makes me trans, apart from the fact that I don't actually use those words.

Or is it all about the words Lekisa658?

[quote Lekisa658]@Helleofabore
“So, YOU are posting that a same sex attracted person is a 'sexual deviant'. Is that what you really think? and you are projecting that on to others?”

I mean, that's how you treat trans people. You think the exact same forms of abuse that were aimed at gay people before, are perfectly okay when they're aimed at trans people instead.[/quote]
What gay people? The male and the female in a relationship that you think is now homosexual?

I love how you appropriate the historical discrimination of same-sex attracted people, for a concept where you deny its very existence.

People have varied personalities. A woman telling a man to fuck off is "non binary" because the traditional role of women is to facilitate men.

You... don't, though?

Literally everyone who has ever drawn breath is "non binary", because no one is "binary". Binary is a term better used for IT, not people.

I identify as Korean. Don't you dare say I'm not. That's exactly the same as hating gay people.

I know I'm Korean because I started to feel very strongly about it after spending a lot of time on Tumblr.

@Helleofabore
“So, YOU are posting that a same sex attracted person is a 'sexual deviant'. Is that what you really think? and you are projecting that on to others?”

I mean, that's how you treat trans people. You think the exact same forms of abuse that were aimed at gay people before, are perfectly okay when they're aimed at trans people instead.

Non-binary does come under the trans umbrella and it is quite probable one leads to the other.

They may come under the same umbrella for some, but non-binary is not the same as transitioning and does not necessarily lead to it, or to binding or tucking.

Also what do you think happens if you tell a child in the early stages of social transition that eventually they can change sex

This is the exact opposite of what the OP has told her child though?

There is also harm and risk attached to a parent refusing to acknowledge their DC's own sense of identity. Where are they going to talk about this if they get shut down at home? If the OP wants to have any chance of making sure the DC is properly informed and feels able to change their mind if they want to, she needs to be having a lot of conversations with them.

So why are you trying to convince trans and non-binary children to stop being trans or non-binary?

Can you explain what you mean by a 'trans or non-binary' child @Lekisa658?

What makes a child 'trans or non-binary'?

How do they or anyone else know that they are 'trans or non-binary'?

I can tell the sex of someone without looking at their genitals or ordering a chromosome test and so can almost all of the population otherwise we as a species would be extinct.
Non-binary does come under the trans umbrella and it is quite probable one leads to the other.

I think the visitor to this thread has shed a lot of light on to why sexual orientation and trans/non binary/gender identity are separate categories.

And in all of this we are talking about a Year 7 child, in the UK that is an 11 or 12 year old.

Puberty is difficult and non-binary or trans has been marketed as a way out of puberty, but it isn't and cannot be. The health consequences of non-binary even it is 'just' binding for girls or tucking for boys are horrendous. Given a lot of non-binary girls progress to wanting to be boys their medical future is bleak. I read that taking testosterone wipes 25 years off your lifetime, what other medical practices do this?

Also what do you think happens if you tell a child in the early stages of social transition that eventually they can change sex, doesn't that make any dysphoria worse as they go through puberty?

I hope the OP has gained some insight from this discussion and will follow up with the articles and links we have all shared. Social transition should not be taken lightly and where children are involved it is the parent's business to be involved.

I can see that I am in the minority here but I would say yes to this. Non-binary is not the same as trans, this is not the same as agreeing to surgical or hormonal intervention, which the DC hasn't asked for anyway.
Keep talking, OP, and make sure they understand that their own feelings about their identity may well change as they get older and that's fine.

Or perhaps convince a none binary child that none binary is in fact the most normal state of affairs

Considering just how many of us here on this very thread fall under the definition of trans and non-binary this cannot be said enough.

You're just angry that people take issue with your unsolicited commentary on trans people's sex and gender.

You see someone say “being a lesbian is not strictly defined by genitals, some lesbians have dicks” and you instantly think this is directly "pressuring" every single lesbian into personally having sex with someone with a dick.

It's not.

You can continue to say 'it doesn't happen'. I know that pressure does happen. I also have witnessed the conversations that have 'censured' those teens who are being called 'transphobic' for not accepting the opposite sex genitals.

It is someone who has either a political agenda or is significantly misinformed on the coercive effect of language who believes that redefining lesbian to include males of any gender, with penises, or with Neo-vaginas, is not 'pressuring' lesbians to accept dicks.

By the way, the use of 'all or nothing' language such as

You see someone say “being a lesbian is not strictly defined by genitals, some lesbians have dicks” and you instantly think this is directly "pressuring" every single lesbian into personally having sex with someone with a dick.

is yet another very tired tactic. It never achieves anything except show the poster up as someone who has nothing to offer except emotive hyperbole and manipulation.

Please do keep posting in this tone as you are a wonderful live demonstration for the thousands of readers who are quietly reading along. Now and in the future.

Or perhaps convince a none binary child that none binary is in fact the most normal state of affairs

and to help them understand the difference between sex and gender

abs to address any underlying issues and children who feel the need to make such statements usually have a reason and that reason doesn't appear independently of the society they are in

@Lekisa658
“Your intentions are to convince a non-binary child to no longer identify as non-binary, yes?“

Did you say, “Child”?
Yes, you did.

When they say ‘non binary’ what they may be trying to say is that they don’t want to be thrust into our sexual world; or that they feel lost and need the validation from peers that a ‘special’ label will give them.

Let’s not as adults collude with pinning them down into some artificial ‘identity’.