M&S frets about customers' feelings re Mother's Day

My friend works in PR and marketing - it's definately for the bereaved and lots of companies including not on the high street and thortful do it on mother/fathers day and valentines day.

I was curious about Platell.

Her Wikipedia page says ‘She has lamented that for medical reasons she has been unable to have children’.

I find her tweet (?) disingenuous at best now. Or perhaps dashed off in an ill advised moment.

I lost my mother 4 years ago and my eldest son last year and though I have another child mothers day is a day best avoided to me. I appreciate the gesture from companies - for some of us ita a hard,hard day.

I received this email. I'm ok with Mother'a Day now I am a mum. But it's been the worst day of the year for me for 16 years, since I lost my own mum as a teenager. So I appreciated this email a lot.

I appreciate these thoughtful gestures to try to limit upset for mothers who have lost children or vice versa. I find it distasteful that you are attempting to make this a trans issue.

I assumed it was aimed at people who had lost their mothers and didn't want constant reminders in the run up to the day. I know that the first Mothers Day after I lost my mum was really difficult. The mails don't bother me now, but they would have done at one time. Amanda Platell is being ridiculous.

She's a bit late!
A lot of shops have done this the last few year,not just M&S. They also do it for Father's day.

I hadn’t even considered bereaved mothers - FemaleAndLearning, I’m so sorry for your loss.

I think you've misunderstood. I don't think this is about the word morher. It is useful to opt out of these things. My baby died at 9 months old and it was good to be able to opt out of things like Mother's Day.

They've had these emails for years. It's not a gender thing it's for people in grief. Lots of retailers do it.

Its nothing to do with 'placating the trans lobby' and shame on those who try and spin this into yet another campaign against trans people.

In response to above question: Nope. She’s not a nice person.

I’m not arguing for Mothers Day to be cancelled! And I havent seen the email in question. My perspective was that if it was about allowing people to reduce their exposure a little in a way that was manageable by them, I think dismissing it as ‘fretting’ is missing the point a little.

If the communication was ‘shall we cancel Mother’s Day?’ my view would be different.

Offering the option to opt out of marketing is perfectly acceptable. It makes sense both for the company and the customer.
The company can target customers more accurately without pissing them off.
The person who doesn't want the marketing is happy too. I have a friend whose child died and dreads Mother's Day and the reminders it brings.

I assumed it was because some grieving the loss of their mother would find it upsetting to get emails of Mother’s Day goodies.

My mum died 15 years ago (in a few weeks) and I am cool with Mother’s Day stuff (we loved it when we were kids - buying the flowers and cards) but some people aren’t because their grief of new/raw.

Mum would have said it was being silly to expect everyone else to pretend it wasn’t happening and that you can’t avoid it.

I never assumed it was a trans/infertility thing, just a loss thing. Also - some people have had bloody awful mums and it might make them feel terrible to see all the ‘perfect mums’ smiling away with armfuls of flowers, flanked by adoring children.

When I get the emails I just ignore or open if I want to suggest something for DH to get his mum.

I agree, they could just allow people to opt out from Mother’s Day email (or Father’s Day or whatever other celebration). But not talking about it all together?

Opting out of marketing is fine.

I understand what you mean re Mother’s Day being redefined/erased though. It’s definitely a Thing. For a few years now Instagram has been full of anti-mother stuff on Mother’s Day.

Whatever you are celebrating, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas…. There will always be people that will upset by it because it will bring sad memories to them. That’s life!

‘Frets’ has such a dismissive undertone.

I can’t have children. I’d love to be able to opt out of Mother’s Day, so if this was about allowing people not to receive MD emails and also musing on perhaps not mentioning it at every opportunity through March, I think that’s not a terrible idea.

Most retailers do this.

Imagine how obsessed you'd have to be to try and relate everything to trans women.

Yeah, I dont think this is about trans stuff at all. Infertility, much-missed mothers, painfully crap mothers... I've had a number of these and while I get the email itself mentions mothers, it obviously then gives people the chance to opt out of numerous more flowery marketing ones. Seems sensible enough.

Get the same messages for Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day… I think it’s more about being aware of certain dates being difficult for people, rather than trying to erase Motherhood.