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M&S frets about customers' feelings re Mother's Day

133 replies

Abitofalark · 26/02/2022 15:35

Amanda Platell writes that M&S asked shoppers if they'd prefer not to be reminded of Mother's Day:

"M&S seems to be tying it itself in PC knots by fretting over the feelings of women unable to have children — or is it attempting to placate those in the trans lobby for whom ‘mother’ may be an offensive word?

Whatever, the email we loyal shoppers received asking us if we’d prefer not to be reminded of Mother’s Day was absurd — not least because it managed to remind us of Mother’s Day anyway."

OP posts:
Erictheavocado · 26/02/2022 17:02

@LowlandLucky

For goodness sake, why would anyone be upset because the caught a glimpse of a Mothers day card ? My Mum died when i was young, i don't go to pieces on Mothers day, i don't think nobody else should celebrate it because my Mum is dead. Death is part of life and yes of course there are times even years later that grief stabs your heart but sending out emails asking if you want to opt out of a day is just down right ridiculous.
Good for you. Not everyone is the same. For some people, the bereavement is still new and raw. Others feel the loss more deeply. My late dad hated his birthday and would never celebrate it as his mum died on his 8th birthday. A lady I used to work with lost her husband on Christmas Day and really struggled with Christmas for many years afterwards. It's not about catching a glimpse of a card. It's about the advertising that surround the event. I imagine it is also hard for those who have difficult relationships with the person - avoiding all the 'mums / dads are as perfect as fluffy unicorns and butterfly wings, when your own is actually anything but, is also hard.
RobotValkyrie · 26/02/2022 16:59

I remember I first heard this was a thing when my own kids were quite young, so at least 5 years ago, probably a few years more. It was, at the time, made very clear (in the news, e.g. on the BBC website) that it had everything to do with tragic memories such as bereavement etc.

There is 100% nothing wrong with giving individuals the option to opt out of potentially upsetting marketing campaigns. There is everything wrong with trying to link that move with sinister political motives. Yuck.

saraclara · 26/02/2022 16:57

I've been getting opt-out emails from retailers about Mothers/Father's Day for years. I even got some about Valentines Day this year!

I really hate the way that just about anything is tortuously linked to trans on Mn these days. It's like some people are totally obsessed with the subject.

Cuck00soup · 26/02/2022 16:57

Oh Amanda, I've had around a dozen emails from various companies asking the same.

Don't you get many emails?

NuffSaidSam · 26/02/2022 16:52

@LowlandLucky

PhrenologlistsFinger Yes i am compassionate but surely by the time you are an adult you can ignore Mothers/Fathers/Grandparents day. Death is part of life and we all have to suffer it. Not having my Mum, Grandparents or my 2 babies that didn't make it hurts but i can't expect the world to stop for me.
You do know that this is about people opting out of marketing emails? It's hardly the world stopping is it?!
SpinsForGin · 26/02/2022 16:52

@LowlandLucky

PhrenologlistsFinger Yes i am compassionate but surely by the time you are an adult you can ignore Mothers/Fathers/Grandparents day. Death is part of life and we all have to suffer it. Not having my Mum, Grandparents or my 2 babies that didn't make it hurts but i can't expect the world to stop for me.
But nobody is asking the world to stop. It's not a suggestion that everybody stops celebrating Mother's Day.... it's just offering people the option to opt out of marketing emails.

Some people do prefer to do this especially if the loss is relatively recent.

bangaverage · 26/02/2022 16:52

...if that's ok with you, OP.

bangaverage · 26/02/2022 16:52

It's absolutely nothing to do with erasing motherhood FFS. It's a nice gesture for people who don't want to have this stuff rubbed in their faces. When it comes to fathers' day I really appreciate it, I don't need other people's perfect relationships with their dads rubbed in my face.

DecemberGal · 26/02/2022 16:51

Although I’m a mother my own died 3 days before daughter born and MIL 3 months after son was born. I don’t take it to heart ❤️ and hit the delete button simples.

mrschocolatte · 26/02/2022 16:50

@LowlandLucky Why do you care if some people want to opt out of specific marketing like this? It’s not going to affect you in any way is it?

LowlandLucky · 26/02/2022 16:49

PhrenologlistsFinger Yes i am compassionate but surely by the time you are an adult you can ignore Mothers/Fathers/Grandparents day. Death is part of life and we all have to suffer it. Not having my Mum, Grandparents or my 2 babies that didn't make it hurts but i can't expect the world to stop for me.

NuffSaidSam · 26/02/2022 16:47

@LowlandLucky

For goodness sake, why would anyone be upset because the caught a glimpse of a Mothers day card ? My Mum died when i was young, i don't go to pieces on Mothers day, i don't think nobody else should celebrate it because my Mum is dead. Death is part of life and yes of course there are times even years later that grief stabs your heart but sending out emails asking if you want to opt out of a day is just down right ridiculous.
Do you think losing your mother at a young age has impacted your ability to empathise?
Nowayhozay · 26/02/2022 16:46

You seem to be the one tying yourself in knots!
Sorry the GC brigade didn't agree with your assumption I guess you were hoping for a different reaction.

SpinsForGin · 26/02/2022 16:42

I've just always assumed it's aimed at bereaved mothers and those of us that have lost our own mothers.

Mrsjayy · 26/02/2022 16:36

I had an email from funky pigeon where you could opt out of Mothers day emails. I really think you are misunderstanding the sentiment OP and not everything is trans related nobody is trying to eradicate mothers they are trying to maybe save people a little bit of hurt on what can be a difficult day.

Daenerys77 · 26/02/2022 16:35

Genuinely don't understand why anyone would want to get marketing emails from anyone, about anything, ever. It's so intrusive.

HardbackWriter · 26/02/2022 16:31

How is sending out one email 'tying themselves in knots'? And I've always thought it was completely obvious that this is aimed at being a (very small and unobtrusive) courtesy for the bereaved.

MajesticElephant · 26/02/2022 16:31

My mum died on Valentine’s Day some years ago and I found being surrounded by all the paraphernalia in those first couple of years really difficult. I remember having to buy stamps to deal with probate stuff and they were fucking mothers days stamps! I would have appreciated that opt out at the time.

Phrenologistsfinger · 26/02/2022 16:27

@LowlandLucky how compassionate of you Hmm

Phrenologistsfinger · 26/02/2022 16:26

I’m struggling with infertility and have had quite a few losses, I’m hugely grateful to be given the chance to opt out of mother’s day. My own mother is not an easy relationship either. So it’s a day of sadness for me. This isn’t about TRAs thankfully.

LowlandLucky · 26/02/2022 16:26

For goodness sake, why would anyone be upset because the caught a glimpse of a Mothers day card ? My Mum died when i was young, i don't go to pieces on Mothers day, i don't think nobody else should celebrate it because my Mum is dead. Death is part of life and yes of course there are times even years later that grief stabs your heart but sending out emails asking if you want to opt out of a day is just down right ridiculous.

Fridafever · 26/02/2022 16:24

This just makes her look a bit obsessed - it’s really not to do with trans women.

Erictheavocado · 26/02/2022 16:23

Like other pp's, I've seen these emails for the last couple of years both before Mother's Day and also a few weeks before Father's Day. I've always assumed they are aimed at those who are dealing with a recent bereavement when they would still be feeling very raw. As for those who 'don't open random marketing e mails', , mist of the ones I see have Mother's Day or Father's Day in the subject line, so you don't need to open it to know what it is about.
It is many years now since dh and I lost our fathers, but I do remember how that first year was so hard seeing the special displays of stuff in shops, I am sure I would have found it very hard to have a stream of emails reminding me of it as well.

RedMozzieYellowMozzie · 26/02/2022 16:22

@LizDoingTheCanCan

Most retailers do this.

Imagine how obsessed you'd have to be to try and relate everything to trans women.

Well, quite
ErrolTheDragon · 26/02/2022 16:20

Maybe it would be simpler if they didn't 'market' Mothers Day at all. It's not supposed to be a money making opportunity for shops. (Yeah, I know, that boat has sailed long ago)