Page 2 | M&S frets about customers' feelings re Mother's Day

Abitofalark · 2022-02-26T15:35:41+00:00

Amanda Platell writes that M&S asked shoppers if they'd prefer not to be reminded of Mother's Day: "M&S seems to be tying it itself in PC knots by fretting over the feelings of women unable to have children — or is it attempting to placate those in the trans lobby for whom ‘mother’ may be an offensive word? Whatever, the email we loyal shoppers received asking us if we’d prefer not to be reminded of Mother’s Day was absurd — not least because it managed to remind us of Mother’s Day anyway."

Snugglepumpkin · 27/02/2022 00:59

Loads of shops do this.
I get a spate of emails every year asking if I want to not receive Mothers Day emails all with Mothers Day in the subject line.

It's ridiculous.
If you don't want to be reminded on Mothers Day, you don't want an email reminding you a few weeks before.

YellowMonday · 27/02/2022 00:48

As someone who has lost their mum, I would love the option to opt out of these marketing comms.

This might change if I become a mum myself, but for now even 8 years on, I do find the day hard. We used to have the best mothers day each year, I would take her out for a champagne high tea. I miss it.

user1471504747 · 27/02/2022 00:45

[quote DontLikeCrumpets]@abitofalark I think Patel is bang on.People have been dealing with personal grief since the beginning of time so why has this particular concern only risen relatively recently? Is it just an odd cowinkydink that this "concern" happens over the same period that words related to females are erased and singe sex spaces are eliminated? Furthermore lots of everyday things trigger sad memories and those things are unavoidable.[/quote]
If it was about that then surely they would be trying to rebrand Mother’s Day itself?

MaggieMooh · 27/02/2022 00:39

I assumed it was about being sensitive to those who are bereaved and allowing them to opt out of being reminded repeatedly of something they find deeply upsetting.

CantStartaFireWithoutaSpark · 27/02/2022 00:39

I think it’s a considerate gesture. I like being asked this question for my own very personal reasons.

Chloemol · 27/02/2022 00:33

She’s an idiot. It’s because it is upsetting to people who have lost their mother, not just because people can’t have kids,

DontLikeCrumpets · 27/02/2022 00:27

@abitofalark I think Patel is bang on.People have been dealing with personal grief since the beginning of time so why has this particular concern only risen relatively recently? Is it just an odd cowinkydink that this "concern" happens over the same period that words related to females are erased and singe sex spaces are eliminated? Furthermore lots of everyday things trigger sad memories and those things are unavoidable.

Original poster

Abitofalark · 26/02/2022 23:32

@AlsoNotAGirl

Amanda Platell has misunderstood the purpose of those emails. Lots of companies now allow customers to opt out of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day promotional emails and it’s a kind thing to do. Mother’s Day is painful when you’ve suffered either the loss of a child or the loss of your own mother

Thank you and all the other posters who have posted along the same lines about the option emails. I agree with all your points and with all who have written about the pain of their own loss.

OP posts:

Blogblogblogblog · 26/02/2022 23:18

I don’t get this. Surely by reminding you about Mothers Day and asking you to turn off their advert for Mothers Day, they are giving you the reminder anyway and then compounding the upset by you having to opt out, then wrapping it up as aren’t we so considerate asking you to click-acknowledge the grief/loss to a marketing firm of a shop. And then do it all again next year.
If they were really considerate they wouldn’t send any adverts for Mother’s Day etc.
People could, you know, just go to the shop or click on the website. Because I bet you click on the website and Mother’s Day is plastered all over it.

AlsoNotAGirl · 26/02/2022 23:07

Amanda Platell has misunderstood the purpose of those emails. Lots of companies now allow customers to opt out of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day promotional emails and it’s a kind thing to do. Mother’s Day is painful when you’ve suffered either the loss of a child or the loss of your own mother

1Week · 26/02/2022 23:04

I have never come across these marketing emails.

whiteworldgettingwhiter · 26/02/2022 22:48

Every single company sends me emails to ask if I want to opt out of Mother's Day emails - and Father's Day emails. I think it shows thought and consideration.

NuffSaidSam · 26/02/2022 22:01

@Nickwinkle

I f*cking hate mother's day as it's a reminder I'll never be one. Worst day of the year and it hurts more and more as the years go by.

That being said; never would I ever expect anyone to stop celebrating it just because of 'my' feelings. It's selfish. People need to get over themselves and let people celebrate what's important to them.

Bring on the wine and tissues.

I think you might have posted on the wrong thread?

This is one is about opting out of marketing emails, not cancelling mother's day.

kagerou · 26/02/2022 22:00

@LizDoingTheCanCan

Most retailers do this.

Imagine how obsessed you'd have to be to try and relate everything to trans women.

100% this

SpinsForGin · 26/02/2022 21:48

@Nickwinkle

I f*cking hate mother's day as it's a reminder I'll never be one. Worst day of the year and it hurts more and more as the years go by.

That being said; never would I ever expect anyone to stop celebrating it just because of 'my' feelings. It's selfish. People need to get over themselves and let people celebrate what's important to them.

Bring on the wine and tissues.

Who is expecting people not to celebrate Mother's Day? Not one person has suggested that. It's literally about opting out of marketing emails 🤷🏼‍♀️

Associatepeggy · 26/02/2022 21:46

Pretty sure the emails I got asked if I wanted to opt out of any further mothers day marketing.

Not, would I like to sign a petition to cancel mothers day for everyone. Not even sure how that would be achieved. How do you stop someone celebrating in their own home?

PickAChew · 26/02/2022 21:42

Once again, @Nickwinkle, it's not about cancelling the day, merely about not wanting to see adverts referring to it in your own, private, mailbox. Your own private mailbox that has no effect on anybody else.

user1471504747 · 26/02/2022 21:40

@Nickwinkle

I f*cking hate mother's day as it's a reminder I'll never be one. Worst day of the year and it hurts more and more as the years go by.

That being said; never would I ever expect anyone to stop celebrating it just because of 'my' feelings. It's selfish. People need to get over themselves and let people celebrate what's important to them.

Bring on the wine and tissues.

Is the only way to celebrate Mother’s Day by reading marketing emails?

Because otherwise I don’t know how some people opting out of emails in anyway equates to people demanding no one celebrates MD.

Nickwinkle · 26/02/2022 21:38

I f*cking hate mother's day as it's a reminder I'll never be one. Worst day of the year and it hurts more and more as the years go by.

That being said; never would I ever expect anyone to stop celebrating it just because of 'my' feelings. It's selfish. People need to get over themselves and let people celebrate what's important to them.

Bring on the wine and tissues.

PickAChew · 26/02/2022 21:36

@LauriePartridge4Eva

Opt out by all means. It's the people who make sure we all hear about their reasons I don't get. Just do it and get on with your life ffs. But stop trying to end things for people because YOU might find it hard.

Why? If I opt out of particular marketing emails does that mean you receive emails explaining why I did it?

mellicauli · 26/02/2022 21:36

It's not really kindness, is it?. It's just to enable better targeted marketing. Choosing to opt out of mother's day/father's day tells you something about the person which helps you sell to them more effectively and something also the same about the people who don't opt out.

user1471504747 · 26/02/2022 21:35

@LauriePartridge4Eva

Opt out by all means. It's the people who make sure we all hear about their reasons I don't get. Just do it and get on with your life ffs. But stop trying to end things for people because YOU might find it hard.

But no one is trying to do that, and the only reason people need to explain why companies offer this is because OP and Amanda apparently can’t apply a bit of logic and common sense.

Associatepeggy · 26/02/2022 21:32

I, for one are glad to have the option. Its not erasing mothers day. It's about making it a bit more manageable for people.

My mum died, suddenly at 66, 14 weeks ago. People can say I need to toughen up or whatever, but they can fuck off.

Opting out of the Mother's days emails isn't erasing mothers day and opting literally has fuck all to do with anyone else.

And tbh, right now. I dont want to be a grown up, understanding that death is part of life on one hand. But also feelings desperately unhappy and empty because my mum isn't here.

If people have an issue about how I am grieving or managing it, I would say that's their issue. Not mine. And, maybe, people who think and say 'well it doesn't bother me so anyone else who it does bother is wrong', aren't as ok as they pretend.

I might be heart broken, but i still understand everyone is different and have empathy for people who are struggling a more than I am.

PickAChew · 26/02/2022 21:30

@LowlandLucky

For goodness sake, why would anyone be upset because the caught a glimpse of a Mothers day card ? My Mum died when i was young, i don't go to pieces on Mothers day, i don't think nobody else should celebrate it because my Mum is dead. Death is part of life and yes of course there are times even years later that grief stabs your heart but sending out emails asking if you want to opt out of a day is just down right ridiculous.

Other people might be feeling raw about their bereavement, particularly if it's recent. It's incredibly unkind to suggest that those people are being oversensitive when they don't want to stumble upon emails suggesting which flowers or chocolates they might want to send their dead mother.

No one is suggesting cancelling mothers day. All this is about is opting out of some marketing emails that may be particularly unwelcome.

EwwSprouts · 26/02/2022 21:29

Moonpig have also sent out such an email.