M&S frets about customers' feelings re Mother's Day

Codicil to this thread - I have just had an email offering the opportunity to opt out of Fathers' Day marketing emails.

Also women who have had their children taken into care. When I worked in women's prisons Mother's Day was a really difficult day.

@Random789, there is a universal opt out button for marketing emails, it's the unsubscribe button. PITA to do it for each company that e mails you but I did a few in a sitting once a week for a while and it has cut it right back.

[quote DontLikeCrumpets]@AlsoNotAGirl

Why didn't M&S show that level of kindness when they instituted their trans-inclusive changing room policy and when they doubled down on it?
If they are so concerned with customers being upset why would they not sought women views and have offered women a way to opt out of having their privacy compromised?[/quote]
I don’t know exactly why not. Although the emails are an easy thing to do with little downside for them and their trans inclusive policies come from someone senior buying into supporting trans ideology over womens rights and dignity. But these are two separate things and I can dislike their view on one without thinking everything they do is related to their trans inclusive policies.

I personally have stopped buying clothes at M&S after they allowed the frankly grim reviews on women/teen girl’s clothes on their website so the emails will make no difference to whether I buy from them and I didn’t actually see theirs as I’ve opted out of any emails from them. I did see similar emails from other retailers.

Of course that opens them up to the usual ‘I hate summer/cats/oranges… so don’t send me mailers including these things’

I was glad to get the email too - from Sainsburys.
I don’t need reminded that some people are lucky to have normal loving, supportive mums. I don’t and it really hurts.

One of the things wrong with this world is some people seeking to take offence at everything and anything

Totally missing the point OP.

I emailed Lakeland to say that while their gesture was good being asked every year defeated the object. They agreed. If you don't want all the advertising one year the chances are you don't want it any year.

I think M&S and other companies asking if customers want to opt out is considerate. I lost my wonderful, like a mum to me, MIL 6mths ago, I don’t want to be reminded that it’s Mother’s Day, I just want to treat the day as a usual Sunday. I don’t have anyone to buy for this year and that feels so strange after +30 years.

@Ionlydomassiveones as I said above

For me it's been easier to opt in Jan/fen than dealing with loads of emails come March. It's not uncommon for the closer you get to a particular date for things to get harder

That's why, for me, I am glad for it.

And as pp said, getting an email asking you if you want to opt out, is far easier to deal with then 'show you mum how much she means to you' etc emails you get closer to the day.

I agree it's not about caring. It's an act to increase brand loyalty. Doesn't mean its not helpful and useful. But also, very get acta of kindness are done entirely selflessly. I don't expect a business to be any different.

I've quite appreciated receiving these, and have taken the opportunity to opt out from a few places.
I'd much rather deal with an email a few weeks before than have my inbox full of marketing to get something for the mum I no longer have.
I'm very sensitive to woman-erasure and wokery, but I don't detect any here.

Emma Bridgewater sent emails asking the same question a year or two ago. As I've lost my father, I asked if the same would be done for Father's Day (couldn't care less about seeing one extra reminder amongst an ocean of them every year, but just asked regardless), just to see what they'd say, but no response! No similar email received re: Father's Day! What a surprise

I've just opted out of these. I had to read an email in order to do this, but that's better than getting half a dozen emails in the run up with stuff like "still time to spoil your mum!" "Don't forget your mum this Mother's Day" etc etc.

Ionly that’s just what I said, but I said it in more words and less eloquently!

@AlsoNotAGirl

Why didn't M&S show that level of kindness when they instituted their trans-inclusive changing room policy and when they doubled down on it?
If they are so concerned with customers being upset why would they not sought women views and have offered women a way to opt out of having their privacy compromised?

Organisations are increasingly going out of their way to avoid giving offence or causing upset but the actual psychological effect of this is priming people to feel offended or upset. It's creating an atmosphere of anxiety and gloom and damaging people's mental health.

They've been sending them for years.

I ask them not to send because my mother is an abusive person who does not warrant celebrating

OP, these have been sent for a few years now and I find them helpful - and my mother died over 30 years ago. It’s surely nothing to do with trans issues- or at least it wasn’t when it started.
I find it helpful - yes, there is the email itself but then no other ones.

[quote DontLikeCrumpets]@abitofalark I think Patel is bang on.People have been dealing with personal grief since the beginning of time so why has this particular concern only risen relatively recently? Is it just an odd cowinkydink that this "concern" happens over the same period that words related to females are erased and singe sex spaces are eliminated? Furthermore lots of everyday things trigger sad memories and those things are unavoidable.[/quote]
Then why do I also get emails asking if I'd like to opt out of Father's Day comms?

She's massively misunderstood the purpose of these emails. And I say that as someone who actively campaigns against the eradication of the word woman. This isn't about that.

For me it's been easier to opt in Jan/fen than dealing with loads of emails come March. It's not uncommon for the closer you get to a particular date for things to get harder.

I didnt agree with the trans exclusive changing rooms. And I don't think they do it because they really care. But this has got fuck all to do with changing rooms or trans inclusive policies. And quite frankly, attributing anything to the trans issues, makes people opposed to some trans inclusive policies, look ridiculous. Especially when people go 'but it probably is connected....cause changing rooms'.

These emails do not, or even attempt to, erase mothers day. Those of us who opt out, are not trying to remove mothers day for other people. It's not an attack on mothers day or females. Retailers simply know that if they come across as though they care more, people like them more. But this year it benefits me so I will take them up on it. And since it impacts, literally, no one else.

Next year when it's been just over a year since mum died, I might not.

It's also upsetting for women who have lost children, as well as anyone who has lost their Mums too. Don't think it's over pc, also get them for Father's Day opt outs too.

@user1471504747
A fair point but has M&S showed similar concern for feelings when they "doubled down on its trans-inclusive changing rooms policy"? Have they been sending emails to determine how their female customers are coping with their trans-inclusive policy? Unless I'm mistaken they did not so their concern with Mother's Day triggering overwhelming sadness frankly seems disingenuous.