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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Would you say anything?

85 replies

fghjk · 26/02/2022 02:23

My DD is 7 and what I can only describe as a VERY young 7 due to missing so much school over the last couple of years. She came home today and told me she learned about 'men who love men' - fine - and "men who become girls". Confused

Men can become girls?

Yeah? The teacher said we can just get surgery when we're older. So I can be a boy if I want to. They just told us to talk to our parents. Can I be a boy?

Why do you need to be a boy? I thought you were a tomboy? Why wouldn't you want to be a girl? Girls can do whatever boys can do etc etc.

On and on, back and forth (I'm sure some posters will recognise this).

I went through it with her older sister when she came home aged 10 and attempted to "educate" me. She knows what is what now, but that was a week of non-stop discussion I had no idea was happening until it happened. She thought sex and gender were interchangeable. She thought it was "a feeling". She could not understand why women needed their own spaces and it took telling her about my own experiences (which I didn't really want to do) to convince her.

But... seven? SEVEN?

What adult in their right mind tells a seven year old they can have their genitals removed when they grow up? (Did they mention how many of these surgeries are actually done successfully, I wonder? Highly doubt it!)

I really want to ask if this is actually what happened and this was actually what she was told. Can I? Should I? I realise that would out me as a TERF, but at this stage I honestly don't care? I genuinely believe if she HAS to have this education then there are age appropriate ways to give it which doesn't involve seven year olds being told they can chop off their genitals (or have ones stitched on?!) when they grow up -- they just need to ask mummy and daddy first.

Or am I completely overreacting and this is just the way they're being educated these days? Sad We are in Scotland where apparently the government believes 4 year olds should have their pronouns respected... so I don't even know if this was the teacher either majorly fucking up, or furthering her own agenda, or if this is actually the curriculum these days?

I'm just seriously annoyed that yet again there was no warning and it's putting ideas into young heads that A) they can't even understand and B) really does not matter. It feels like they're being indoctrinated into a religion I don't believe in and (certainly in my eldest's case) being taught that non-believers are wrong and going to hell.

She's always been a bit of a 'tomboy'... into football, all her friends are boys, paw patrol for years and hasn't ever looked twice at a barbie. But even at five, she was the one trying to explain to her ten year old sister who came home full of the gender nonsense that "girls can like boy stuff - it doesn't make them boys!!" and now, one sex education lesson later, she thinks she's a bloody boy. And she can just get surgery when she's older to make her a boy 'for real' 😧.

Does anyone have some practical advice on what I can do?

OP posts:
MidsomerMurmurs · 26/02/2022 08:05

We are in Scotland

Oh shit. School did send a link on Google Classroom a couple of days ago.

“RSHP (Relationships, Sexual Health and Parenthood) which is a mandatory part of the curriculum. We will be teaching about the names for body parts and discussing what privacy is.
Your child may come home and wish to discuss these things with you.”

That’s P1, and sounds fine, but DS is in P3. Will have to investigate.

Carbiesdreamhouse · 26/02/2022 07:31

I'd complain to the school for advocating FGM

parietal · 26/02/2022 07:29

@Helmetbymidnight has a good approach

Goatsaregreat · 26/02/2022 07:23

Tricky OP. But if parents don't challenge schools about this, then misinformation thrives. I'd ask for clarification first. Ask what materials are being used to teach children about this and take t from there. Sadly the result is likely to be some anti-science 'born in the wrong body' nonsense but then you'll be able to challenge it accuately.

CurtainTroubles · 26/02/2022 07:20

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

GeneLovesJezebel · 26/02/2022 07:11

I would have a chat with school and ask them to educate themselves on sex and gender so that they can give correct information out.

Helmetbymidnight · 26/02/2022 07:08

i would have a chat with the class teacher, yes, why not? keep it light and cheerful and try and find out what ridiculous notions theyve been saying.
make notes-
then if nec speak to the head.

PermanentTemporary · 26/02/2022 07:00

Would i say anything to the school? Probably not if I'm honest. I would, however, say to her that surgery and medical treatments are very important, very serious and never to be taken lightly. Has anyone she knows had surgery, or have you? I'd remind or tell her that surgery takes a very long time to recover from and that it damages the body so is only to be done where there's no better option. And then yes, I would say that everybody's body is private but also everyone knows if they're a boy or a girl and she can be sure that that never changes and her own special body is always her own.

Cailleach1 · 26/02/2022 06:49

It is very odd, isn't it? Schools are now telling children that a person can change their sex, are they? I wonder if they also state that you can even be born in 'somebody else's body'. Like James Max said on Talk radio.

Professor/Lord Robert Winston stated that no one can change their sex. The ability to change your sex is not a mainstream belief, and certainly not evidenced based.

I think I'd ask for my child to be excused from that religion class, as we are not of that particular faith.

MandalaYogaTapestry · 26/02/2022 02:58

When the topic came up with my DD I said to her that one can never change sex and if you are born a girl you will always be a girl. She agreed with me.
Mind you, she is a bit older and replied with "but there are different genders" to which I said OK - as she is passionate about the subject and her friend is NB.