AIBU to wonder why the women just accept this?

85 replies

CremeEggsForBreakfast · 19/02/2022 12:33

I am in a fashion-reated FB group. There are two men in the group who describe themselves as "men who like to wear dresses". These are their own words. The rest of the group are women.

The women bend over backwards to compliment the men who like to wear dresses, enthusing about the colour choices they wear, their accessories, and even their figures. This was fine by me - live and let live and all that - until recently when one of these men posted a photo of his bra and pants (albeit nearly folded on the bed) and how excited he was that they matched his dress. Again, the women enthused loudly, asking where he got said underwear etc.

It made me massively uncomfortable. Am I right in thinking he's getting off on this or am I just too suspicious? And why are all the other women leaping to accept him instead of asking him to keep him underwear out of shot?

AIBU to wonder why the women just accept this?

OP posts:

Kenwouldmixitup · 19/02/2022 12:58

Going forward - a community builds upon behaviour that builds connection and cohesion. In any group a fracture occurs in instances where there is absence of understanding of what bonds the group or an intention to dominate and coerce the behaviour of the group.

Simply put this is where men often fracture a group because they want to dominate or become insensitive to the behaviour that actually binds the group together.

Always happy to be proved wrong though.

DialSquare · 19/02/2022 12:54

I agree. It's never underwear like this is it.

Jackjack0962 · 19/02/2022 12:53

YANBU. It’s a paraphilia.

KohlaParasaurus · 19/02/2022 12:47

I agree. See also: the adulation of men who knit.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 19/02/2022 12:47

It made me massively uncomfortable. Am I right in thinking he's getting off on this or am I just too suspicious?

Yes
No

oscarcat99 · 19/02/2022 12:46

I'm in that group and I agree. The posters are very 'pick me' and 'so brave' about it looking at the proportion of responses to the men vs others. It seems fetishy to me the way some of the men post.

TheGreatATuin · 19/02/2022 12:44

I think its about wanting to be liked and be nice, along with a little naivety because they don't realise it's sexual.

Elsiebear90 · 19/02/2022 12:42

If women post pics of their underwear then I don’t think I would have an issue with it, if they’re only doing the same thing as women in the group then I see no reason to be concerned, it’s just clothes. I would only be bothered if there seemed to be some sexual motive. I’ve know men who are “cross dressers” and I never sensed there was a sexual element to it, they were both gay so obviously not interested in women.

FlibbertyGiblets · 19/02/2022 12:42

I think an element of self preservation is in play - don't do it to me, do it to Julia. Plus the #BeKind thing. And not wanting to place head above the parapet. And patriarchy ofc, conditions women to always centre men.

Etc etc.

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 19/02/2022 12:35

I wouldn't like this.

However, I have to ask, do any other posters provide pics of their underwear choices with their outfits?

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