Name changed as potentially outing.
I’ve noticed more and more the glaring safeguarding red flags surrounding gender ideology, and despite being generally supportive towards people living their lives as they wish, free from discrimination, I’m increasingly seeing it as a big excuse to behave in a challenging way and no one can question it.
I personally know two trans people - a ftm 13 year old and a late 40s mtf.
The child is in secondary school, has autistic traits which have been ignored, shows signs of hyper sexuality - talks about sex all the time, talks about the many people she’s had sex with, displays odd sexual behaviour around other children - all things that should alert adults if possible abuse.
Several adults, including family members, have reported to the parents and to school that they have concerns, one person talked to her police husband about it to ask what should be done. Responses are resoundingly “you’re transphobic to consider this”. It’s being seen by all as a queer youth expressing “himself” and therefore not an issue.
Second case - late 40s male, I worked with him for several years, no longer work there but am in touch with her and several other past colleagues.
She transitioned 18 months ago, no hormones or surgery yet - although I suppose this could have been done without anyone knowing, but no one has seen any physical changes in her.
The office is informal, 20 people, 13 men 7 women. Loos have always been unisex and no one has had problems until colleague transitioned.
Up until transitioning Jane (not real name) was efficient, a hugely valued member of the team, was friendly and immersed into the friendship group that developed, to the point where we’d holiday together, his wife and children became great friends with me and my children.
Once transitioning started, (I no longer worked there) which was basically wearing revealing outfits, lots of makeup, everyone was very supportive of their friend and fell over backwards to see him as a woman and be supportive. His wife tried, but the relationship ended within 6 months, and she (my male ex colleague) no longer sees her children, it was all very distressing all round.
The colleague now does very little work, makes jokes about her silly lady brain, cries if anything goes wrong or if anyone questions whether she’s finished any tasks.
This is annoying many at work, but in general they, particularly the men, are being very supportive still.
The loo situation was never an issue, but now Jane makes a point of following female colleagues into the loo, asking if they have tampons, trying to engage in talk about their sex lives, suggesting girls nights out, sleepovers, and making them feel very uncomfortable in a way that never happened before. This has been reported but the men don’t see the problem (I think they think the loos are an informal hub for girly chats, which was never the case) so it relies on individuals pointing out to Jane that she’s making them feel uncomfortable, which leads to tears and division in the office.
In both these cases, the only trans people I personally know, there are huge red flags, but the majority of people around think it’s all fine, and that those who take issue are doing so to be transphobic.
I don’t understand why so many intelligent adults are overlooking obviously signs that should be investigated, and instead just applying a blanket “they’re trans” which renders them untouchable, and in the child’s case makes them beyond needing therapy despite the many concerning behaviours that are obvious to anyone who meets them.
How have we got to this point? How do we turn it around when the majority are so sold?