Husband transitioning help!

“TinselAngel

“ Plenty of mothers haven't given birth. Adoptive mothers, the non-birthing mum in a same-sex couple, some stepmothers. I have two mothers. One of them have birth to me, but the other is just as much my mum.

“Yes but they're all female“

Yes. And they weren’t in fact the child’s biological father, which would be the case in this context.

Plenty of mothers haven't given birth. Adoptive mothers, the non-birthing mum in a same-sex couple, some stepmothers. I have two mothers. One of them have birth to me, but the other is just as much my mum.

Yes but they're all female.

lottiegarbanzo that's a good point.

To rephrase my deleted post, if you don't want to google stuff suggested on mumsnet, don't. If you do, do?

My only contribution is to say that if you're going to break up, I think the sooner the better, for the sake of the child.

Children accept things that happen when they're very young as 'just the way things are'. It's too early for them to have any sense of their own involvement. It quickly becomes all or most of what they've always known. They quickly adapt to their new stability as their normal.

Whereas older children and teens feel far more involved, so a part of the problem, as well as having to find their own solution. That's hard.

Maybe Im being a bit dim here but I dont understand what you're trying to say.

Just what I ask. If the transitioned person doesn't see themselves as mother, what do they mean when they ask people to refer to them as mother?

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be obtuse. I'm reading all your posts with great interest, as you have a very important insight and I'm grateful to you for sharing. But it's this kind of doublethink that so often goes along with this debate that I think is confusing both of us.

So much of the confusion and clashing could, I think, be helped if we didn't try to insist that transwomen are women - no different in any significant way to an actual female bodied person - but are, well, transwomen. And deserving of respect and safety for that, but a different being to a female person.

MNHQ, surely you meant to delete my other comment?

“Doubletoilandtrouble

Anorexia is a DIY menstruation /puberty/ breast-reducer

Please don’t simply any medical condition like this. Anorexia (and all forms of eating disorders) are a complex interplay between social factors and (we believe) a predisposition for it. It is a complex disease where they symptoms (the disordered eating) only can be treated by treating the underlying causes. However, and this is very important, if the patient is too far gone as in too low weight, they need to be taken back to a minimum weight before treatment can start.

It is an illness, it destroys lives and it needs to be treated so the sufferers can move on and live a normal life.“

Yes, of course it is an illness that needs treating. Of course it is deadly serious and destroys lives. There are girls who die because of it.

It also has the effect of stopping menstruation and giving the impression that a teenage girl or woman is like a child. There is also a link with body dysphoria, and with autism in some cases.

I think we can glean what you're trying to say without you suggesting we need to start Google image searching for stuff

**specifically do a google image search, if you're brave enough

Sorry that was not meant to say LifeIsAGameYouCannotWin

*repulses

lucythejuicy

"@LifeIsAGameYouCannotWinI think it probably is hard for trans people. I am straight and I actually don't mind a man who wears a dress or make up but a male that says he's a woman - no thanks."

^Same, but I'm bi, and I always had a thing for feminine men/masculine women. The thought of "lady dick" repluses me though (google it if you're brave enough, it's a thing).

@LifeIsAGameYouCannotWin

Strugglingwifeofatrans

DrSbaitso
no transexual I know thinks he's become the birth mother

Then what is meant by "mother"?

“Maybe Im being a bit dim here but I dont understand what you're trying to say. My DH does not see himself as my childrens mother and never will.“

The OP mentioned the possibility of her child knowing her DH post transition as ‘mum’.

She wrote: “I want my child to know his dad as a dad.. as a person I know and love him now. Or maybe it's best for him to know him as a mum so he doesn't need to deal with the change.. who can tell me what's best it's so new to us and to society...“

So I think that may be a reason why that question came up.

Anorexia is all about control. The refusing to eat/controlling your food intake excessive exercise is a symptom of an underlying problems it is the thing that the person with anorexia can control. It is true that generally a certain type of personality develops anorexia, I could live with and work with anorexics for the rest of my life I am never going to get anorexia I simply dont have that type of personality (no criticism of the personality traits of either those with anorexia or myself is intended).
Its like alcoholics you drink because you have an underlying problem and the drink helps you deal with it.
Of course the key factor and the key difference between both and gender dysphoria is that without intervention they are fatal.

You know this thread actually isnt about you yeah?
Where has the poster you quoted implied it was?!
Seems to be just giving an alternative view which is allowed.
Are you now going to tell Tinsel it's not about her either, yeah?
It's good I think that this thread is balanced with both views.

Anorexia is a DIY menstruation /puberty/ breast-reducer

Please don’t simply any medical condition like this. Anorexia (and all forms of eating disorders) are a complex interplay between social factors and (we believe) a predisposition for it. It is a complex disease where they symptoms (the disordered eating) only can be treated by treating the underlying causes. However, and this is very important, if the patient is too far gone as in too low weight, they need to be taken back to a minimum weight before treatment can start.

It is an illness, it destroys lives and it needs to be treated so the sufferers can move on and live a normal life.

And yet you haven’t explained why it is different.
I’m gay, there isn’t a comparison. I also suffered from anorexia for 10 years before being treated with therapy and medication. I’ve had ongoing body dysmorphia that I work on constantly, again through medication and therapy. I don’t expect others to go along with my delusional thinking, pre treatment though I would have…
Illness of the brain should of course be treated, pretending everyone will believe you can change sex or males can actually be lesbians, nope nobody is really buying it.

Anorexia is a diy menstruation /puberty/ breast reducer
WTF have I just read

Strugglingwifeoftrans
“You clearly know absolutely nothing about it. Anorexia (I used work with them) is not the same thing as gender dysphoria by any stretch of the imagination you are comparing two totally different conditions.”

Anorexia and gender dysphoria may not be the same thing but I have heard that in the case particularly of girls with gender dysphoria there can be a link with anorexia, gender dysphoria and autism.

Anorexia is a diy menstruation /puberty/ breast reducer