My first time on the pointy end of the trans debate. It's shit

@waterlego I think I would have gone public with those private messages.

I’m so sorry to read that this happened to you. I’ve spoken out occasionally on SM, and received similar treatment. I received particularly vicious private messages from one friend of an acquaintance when I said something perfectly innocuous on FB. IIRC I said that I didn’t think Helen Watts should have lost her leader position in the Girl Guides for saying that she didn’t think transgirls should share shower and tent facilities with Guides on camp.

The vitriol really upset me. It was 3 or 4 years ago now, but the memory of it still stings, and angers me.

Please know that there will have been people reading your comment who agree with you. They just weren’t brave enough at that moment to publicly join in the discussion.

Well done for speaking reason and truth. The man who attacked you is likely someone who has joined this bandwagon because it gives him a ’legitimate’ opportunity to be abusive to women, and to be applauded for it. It’s shameful, and you have done nothing wrong.

I'm perfectly serious. The use of 'cis' is insulting to both men and women.
If it was being used ironically then that wasn't too clear.

Sounds quite a rattling experience

I don't know if it helps at all but it's kind of blackly hilarious to hear of a literature discussion group that refuses to read the primary text ie., JKR's essay, that is the subject of impassioned disagreement...

It would be interesting to hear if the thread was pulled by the group admins due to the personal attacks on you or due to your own alleged "transphobia".

There's nothing like getting your retaliation in first - if you haven't been banned or left yet, maybe pm the admins and point out your adherence to the rules of discussion/civility/reference to primary texts or whatever is pertinent to the existing rules. You can be sure the tantrumers will be behind the scenes trying to get a "transphobia" rule added if there isn't already one.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Every time you speak the truth, you shine some more daylight though and that's a massive achievement, thank you.

It's happened to me a few times on Twitter and I've had to have a break, do something nice and then go back a few days/weeks later. As others have said though, it gets easier and I feel much more calm and secure in myself now and stronger in the face of violent opposition and scare tactics.

Did anyone actually answer the question and describe what JKR had said that was transphobic?

Before calling anyone a bigot it should be required that the person tell you what the belief is that you hold that is wrong, in words that you would agree accurately represent the belief.

un self aware.

every time I am called a bigot I point them to the dictionary definition and ask them to explain their hypocrisy most of them dont even seem to understand what a bigot it and are totally unselfish-aware.

and TERF means Tired of Explaining Reality to Fuckwits.

also cis is a slur do not accept their labeling as you do not identify as such and find it offensive, the term cis gender literally means born on the other side or it could also be interpreted as other race.

It's shocking but I had my eyes opened a bit recently reading some things from detransitioners.

While I've long understood how people who fall down the identity politics hole create these hierarchies, I don't think I ever realized the extent to which some people, mainly it seems younger people, see these as completely rigid and true. One example is someone believing in the most basic way you can imagine that straight people are actually inferior to non-straight people. Trans people actually are better than non-trans homosexual people. Etc.

It's a complete inversion of the kind of white people at the top biological and cultural essentialism you'd associate with the worst thinking of the 19th century, it's actually a kind of weird hierarchical fascism and that is not a word I use very often.

That accounts for the crazy responses, at least to some extent, IMO.

Misogyny in a new wig.

Nailed it. You’ve done nothing wrong and everything right with what you said.
I hope the rules of your online group do not allow abuse or bullying between members and the abusive misogynist guy leaves. You shouldn’t have to.

You were that most dangerous of beings - a Woman with an Opinion.

OP you're not alone, you were unfortunately caught up in one of those echo chambers that are so popular right now.

There are many many more people that think just as you do but are intimidated into silence atm.

Let's not be silent .

@AnneBoleynsSixthFinger I’m so sorry.

It’s awful, isn’t it? And the utter entitled blindness of the young man not seeing the deep irony of his comment.

I’m increasingly depressed about the future. I think there’s a whole generation of young people who misguidedly think that they are being progressive when they attack women like you’ve been attacked.

For most of them, I don’t think it’s deliberately vicious, or thought-through. But they are the tools of MRA s - regressive male rights activists and sexist men who are jubilant at the thought they now have a “legitimate “ reason to tell women to shut the fuck up.

It’s awful and it’s going to take hundreds and thousands of women like you, speaking up and speaking truth and common sense, to challenge this awful ideology.

Anne, my heart goes out to you. Been there. May I suggest you join a GC group on FB? There are loads and I have found it helpful to be in touch with likeminded folk, otherwise the world can seem a dark place in these crazy times. Among my favourites are
www.facebook.com/groups/107408936606275
www.facebook.com/Gender-Critical-Humans-583863275632065

It's the topic where the bullies get free reign and not only get to pretend they are the good guys but get validated for their bullying.

OP you might want to look up the Facebook group “Harry Potter fans who love JK Rowling” it’s a breath of fresh air.

Sorry this happened to you. Mob justice and verbal ‘stonings to oblivion’ of anyone who contradicts the mob’s madness are, perhaps, the inevitable result of the internet.

Free speech is dead and the level of hate directed to women who stand up for their right to think for themselves, is very strange and sad.