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Original poster

thank you from a TW

241 replies

Atarax · 04/02/2022 11:51

Firstly apologies for posting in a woman's forum. I am transgender (male who lives as female). I wanted to thank the people here who keep me grounded and secure in who I am (not a woman, just a man who is in the wrong body and is fortunate to live in a society that lets me present, act and be accepted as a woman).
Reading threads here on safe spaces gave me the courage to use a men's changing room for the first time since transitioning - I never used woman's ones just accessible/gender neutral rooms. Not surprisingly I did not get attacked, a few curious looks and I kept myself covered in a towel.

You all keep it real and that is so important for those non extreme trans people. Don't stop the dialogue (but do keep respectful). Thanks again, just wanted to post because many (most?) of us get it.

OP posts:
WarriorN · 04/02/2022 12:53

Hi Atrax,

Do you really believe you're on the wrong body?

Thanks for respecting women's boundaries. Hopefully others who don't can follow your (and others who do) 's example.

BettyFilous · 04/02/2022 12:47

There is no new "big push". Trans women have always used women's spaces. If you weren't aware of that prior to the current moral panic, it just goes to show how little trouble they cause.

Once more with feeling… We noticed them. It bothered many of us and made some extremely uncomfortable or unable to use the facility. When it was vanishingly small numbers, the majority respectful, it was easier to ignore. Now we have a significant increase in chancers and inappropriate in yer face behaviour and showboating we need a rethink. It’s no longer working for women.

WallaceinAnderland · 04/02/2022 12:44

I hope you don't mind me asking, but how do you 'live as female'?

Women are all different. I bet you don't live like me, or millions of other women. But the main thing is that men and women all live the same way - as humans. There is no difference between the way 'woman as whole' live and 'men as a whole' live.

All humans are broadly the same, the only thing that makes men and women different is their sex and if you are of the male sex, you are not living as female. It's not possible.

But I would like to hear what makes you think you do live as female, if you don't mind answering.

SevenWaystoLeave · 04/02/2022 12:41

@MarshmallowSwede

I’m curious as to your opinion *@Atarax* What do you think is driving the big push for access to women’s spaces?

Before trans women just wanted to be able to live their lives without harassment and not being ridiculed. So what has changed? Why is there such a huge gap in the mindset of trans women like yourself and others? Is it generational?

There is no new "big push". Trans women have always used women's spaces. If you weren't aware of that prior to the current moral panic, it just goes to show how little trouble they cause.
SalRobins · 04/02/2022 12:41

They’re not pushing for male acceptance because they want to dominate, control and intimidate women and girls spaces and lives. It’s not really about “trans rights” for TRAs.

FlibbertyGiblets · 04/02/2022 12:37

Double thumbs up! 👍👍

MarshmallowSwede · 04/02/2022 12:35

I’m curious as to your opinion @Atarax
What do you think is driving the big push for access to women’s spaces?

Before trans women just wanted to be able to live their lives without harassment and not being ridiculed. So what has changed? Why is there such a huge gap in the mindset of trans women like yourself and others? Is it generational?

Gumbomambo · 04/02/2022 12:32

I think when the vocal TRA’s get involved they don’t actually care about the struggles that trans people do go through. There’s so much real support you need, unfortunately feminists are spending so much energy fighting the fires against women’s rights that we can’t help. It’s such a refreshing change to hear someone like you be honest about your struggles. Take care.

IamSarah · 04/02/2022 12:31

Hello 👋

Always good to hear from an ally.

Let us know if you need support with championing dedicated trans services, we are more than happy to help.

Cherryblossoms85 · 04/02/2022 12:31

I am really glad you are able to live as you please and that you've chosen to push for men to accept you as you are. I kinda feel like I am too old for the wider debate though!

Summerhillsquare · 04/02/2022 12:28

I am really pleased that you didn't get hassle in a men's room - surprised but pleased! What can we do as both women and transwomen to ensure men are more supportive and less enforcing of gender stereotypes?

Etinoxaurus · 04/02/2022 12:27

Thank you for dropping by 👋
Much as I hate the be kind trope shut up women it’s absolutely vital that the debate is kept polite and ‘high’
Flowers

Crouton19 · 04/02/2022 12:22

Hi Atarax, thank you for popping in. It certainly helps us to stay grounded and remember that the vocal activists are definitely in the minority. I hope you have safe spaces and forums online too and that they have not all been taken over by the extreme TRAs.

Apollo441 · 04/02/2022 12:19

As a bloke, I salute and welcome you. Gender non conformity is to be celebrated especially as you are doing the right thing. I view that more transgender males in male spaces as a sign of a healthy society and the death of toxic masculinity. I think that the vast majoity of men feel the same and it is a mystery why TRA's aren't pushing for male acceptance.

bishophaha · 04/02/2022 12:16

All sexes and genders are welcome to post here, although thanks for acknowledging it is largely women. I hope you continue to feel and be safe around men.

Would love to pick your brains about some of the stuff we read on here/Stonewall says etc, but I can imagine it's a bit tiring.

BettyFilous · 04/02/2022 12:12

Thank you for providing your perspective and recent experience of using the men’s facilities. It’s good to hear that you respect women’s spaces.

I am interested to hear what it was about reading posts on Mumsnet that changed your mind. Personally I think most men are oblivious the level of sexual harassment and worse that women and girls encounter day to day and cumulatively in their lifetimes so have no appreciation of the importance and need for women’s single sex spaces. I’m interested to know more about why your thinking has shifted on this topic.