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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A third female teenager I know has transitioned.

144 replies

PermanentTemporary · 01/02/2022 07:10

This one is only 15, the others were 18, all changing to live as men. I also have a male cousin who transitioned to live as a woman in middle age a few years back. A friend's male partner has transitioned to nonbinary in their 30s.

I'm a very ordinary suburban woman in my 50s. Is this low numbers? High?

OP posts:
waterlego · 01/02/2022 16:41

@MumstheWordle

I’m interested to know whether you deliberately chose to use the word ‘dysmorphia’ in your post (you used it twice) or whether it was a typo/autocorrect?

As I’m sure you know, dysmorphia is not a word commonly used by trans people to describe their experience. They usually talk about gender dysphoria. They are two quite different things.

If you deliberately used ‘dysmorphia’, you might have more in common with us horrible transphobes than you think.

SapphosRock · 01/02/2022 16:38

I'm a lesbian and DD used to have another girl in her class with lesbian mums. Now one of the mums has transitioned to male.

3 non binaries in my close friendship circle. All born female. All lovely people but immature and a little narcissistic.

Went to school with MTF transsexual - transitioned in the late 90s. Is horrified by trans activism now.

Numerous acquaintances who are on a medical path. Mostly FTM.

I've noticed strangers who I see often (people who work in the local supermarket, doctors surgery etc) who I don't know by name but who are transitioning. One day they are a young woman with short hair, the next time I see them they have grown a beard. They all seem pretty young, late teens / early 20s.

notacooldad · 01/02/2022 16:32

@steppemum
Unfortunately within my girls friendship groups, they are not reverting back unfortunately

How long have they been like this. We had one boy who was adamant he wanted to be female and was like this for about two and half years before he decided he didnt. Most went back around the 18 month mark or when something significant happened eg leaving school and starting college or a complete change of friendship groups.

We've noticed it isn't happening as much now. Things seem to come to our service as trends.

steppemum · 01/02/2022 15:54

@notacooldad

I work with teens. Over the last four years we have gone from zero talking to transitioning to quite a few. I'm think maybe 17. They completely changed their appearance, got upset if we accidentally used their 'dead name'.We had to call them by the pronoun of their choosing at CIN meetings etc etc. They were referred to agencies to get further info about how to medically start transitioning. Every single one reverted back to as they were within 9 months max. This why I am horrified at how much support is quickly given to young teens who had previously shown no interest in being or wanting to be the opposite gender to what they are.
I'm glad the kids you are working with reverted back.

Unfortunately within my girls friendship groups, they are not reverting back, they are continuing.

steppemum · 01/02/2022 15:52

What do you mean 'just gay'?

what I mean is, the clubs were set up to support gay kids, but being gay is considered to be boring and none of them now identify as gay, they identify as a rainbow of genders. The fact that the club was founded for gay kids has been lost under the avalanche of trans stuff.

I would say that my dd1, a typical 'butch' gay woman has been hoodwinked into thinking that she is actually a man.

I totally agree with you about the clubs. LGB spaces have vanished and instead these young people are being fed this whole trans ideology.
I find it heartbreaking.

Mewski · 01/02/2022 15:48

@Jacaranda75

This is really telling - so many of these girls seem to be trying to escape being a woman, not validating an inner feeling that they are male.

@GroggyLegs and THIS is why so many of us were anorexic in the 1980s. I firmly believe gender dysphoria in girls is the new anorexia.

Couldn't agree more. Out with size 0 , in with pronouns
rogdmum · 01/02/2022 15:43

I think it’s important that this issue is discussed and people are aware of it. I’m all for greater public awareness around the social contagion aspects as well as understanding the distress gender dysphoria can cause.

CharSiu · 01/02/2022 15:40

DS peer group and also friends dc, age range is 14 to 21. We have 3 lads that are gay, no trans leanings at all. There is one other born male who has said they are trans. They had been under investigation for years on and off for Autism and other health issues. Their Mum hinted at many issues but maybe to respect privacy she never fully opened up and fair enough. This young person literally never leaves the house and as far as I’m aware never had any real life friends though they had some online ones. They were bullied at school.

notacooldad · 01/02/2022 15:38

I work with teens.
Over the last four years we have gone from zero talking to transitioning to quite a few. I'm think maybe 17. They completely changed their appearance, got upset if we accidentally used their 'dead name'.We had to call them by the pronoun of their choosing at CIN meetings etc etc. They were referred to agencies to get further info about how to medically start transitioning.
Every single one reverted back to as they were within 9 months max.

This why I am horrified at how much support is quickly given to young teens who had previously shown no interest in being or wanting to be the opposite gender to what they are.

VeryQuaintIrene · 01/02/2022 15:34

It's an anonymous forum, and no one has been named (as is right and proper). Just because you disagree doesn't mean people shouldn't be allowed to express concern about current trends (and IMO reasonable concern). And I say this as someone who would have absolutely jumped to transition had it been normalized 40 years ago.

EishetChayil · 01/02/2022 15:28

It must be satire.

LondonWolf · 01/02/2022 15:28

That's for @MumstheWordle obviously.

LondonWolf · 01/02/2022 15:28

🙄 you haven't "had" to at all. You just wanted to come on here and berate people for holding different views to you. Dreary. We've heard it all before. Multiple times.

VelvetChairGirl · 01/02/2022 15:23

@MumstheWordle

I’ve had to create an account just now, purely with the purpose of commenting on this forum post. I think it’s absolutely disgusting how much transphobia I’m seeing on this page and the entire website as a whole.

Now I understand that some generations are less open to the ideas and (scientifically backed) studies regarding transgenderism, body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria, but whether you agree or not with transgenderism in an objective or subjective manner, I believe it’s worrying to see how invasive and rude a large number of people are with regards to the people around them and their children.

To comment on somebody else’s transition in such a blunt and often antagonising manner is not alright and shouldn’t exist on this platform.

There are far too many posts from people purposefully mis-gendering and using phrases such as “who is apparently a man now” and “who thinks she’s a girl now” etc. This type of discussion is extremely demeaning and serves to try and undermine the very real struggles that come with gender dysmorphia and any individual’s journey with their gender identity.

Additionally, there is a huge issue with people being afraid of their children interacting with those who have transitioned, or are in the process of transitioning. To teach your children that these types of people should avoided only serves to further increase the amount of bullying and abuse that is already a huge issue for trans people.

If one thing should be taken from this, please just treat these people with common decency, use the pronouns they choose, do not inquire deeply about their personal transition unless they’re comfortable discussing it, and perhaps don’t spread rhetoric along the lines of “oh it’s just teenage angst” as it is objectively far deeper than that.

this is satire isnt it?
EishetChayil · 01/02/2022 15:21

@MumstheWordle

I’ve had to create an account just now, purely with the purpose of commenting on this forum post. I think it’s absolutely disgusting how much transphobia I’m seeing on this page and the entire website as a whole.

Now I understand that some generations are less open to the ideas and (scientifically backed) studies regarding transgenderism, body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria, but whether you agree or not with transgenderism in an objective or subjective manner, I believe it’s worrying to see how invasive and rude a large number of people are with regards to the people around them and their children.

To comment on somebody else’s transition in such a blunt and often antagonising manner is not alright and shouldn’t exist on this platform.

There are far too many posts from people purposefully mis-gendering and using phrases such as “who is apparently a man now” and “who thinks she’s a girl now” etc. This type of discussion is extremely demeaning and serves to try and undermine the very real struggles that come with gender dysmorphia and any individual’s journey with their gender identity.

Additionally, there is a huge issue with people being afraid of their children interacting with those who have transitioned, or are in the process of transitioning. To teach your children that these types of people should avoided only serves to further increase the amount of bullying and abuse that is already a huge issue for trans people.

If one thing should be taken from this, please just treat these people with common decency, use the pronouns they choose, do not inquire deeply about their personal transition unless they’re comfortable discussing it, and perhaps don’t spread rhetoric along the lines of “oh it’s just teenage angst” as it is objectively far deeper than that.

Report the transphobia when you see it, and MN will take down the offending post.

Enb76 · 01/02/2022 15:18

This type of discussion is extremely demeaning and serves to try and undermine the very real struggles that come with gender dysmorphia and any individual’s journey with their gender identity.

But it's a joke - many of these people are not suffering from any sort of gender dysphoria, they are responding to fashion. I was taken the piss out of at the same age for being a goth and while some people never grow out of being goths - and more power to their elbows - lots do because it's a passing fashion trend. The problem with this particular trend is it can lead to very real physical damage. It needs more than just the piss being taken out of it.

KittenKong · 01/02/2022 15:18

Demi? Half sized or inferior? What a dreadful way to describe yourself.

Too much internet.

Enb76 · 01/02/2022 15:14

There are quite a few at my daughter's school. One of her very close friends is a non-binary demigirl apparently which sounds to me like far too much internet with very little supervision.

MumstheWordle · 01/02/2022 15:08

I’ve had to create an account just now, purely with the purpose of commenting on this forum post.
I think it’s absolutely disgusting how much transphobia I’m seeing on this page and the entire website as a whole.

Now I understand that some generations are less open to the ideas and (scientifically backed) studies regarding transgenderism, body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria, but whether you agree or not with transgenderism in an objective or subjective manner, I believe it’s worrying to see how invasive and rude a large number of people are with regards to the people around them and their children.

To comment on somebody else’s transition in such a blunt and often antagonising manner is not alright and shouldn’t exist on this platform.

There are far too many posts from people purposefully mis-gendering and using phrases such as “who is apparently a man now” and “who thinks she’s a girl now” etc. This type of discussion is extremely demeaning and serves to try and undermine the very real struggles that come with gender dysmorphia and any individual’s journey with their gender identity.

Additionally, there is a huge issue with people being afraid of their children interacting with those who have transitioned, or are in the process of transitioning. To teach your children that these types of people should avoided only serves to further increase the amount of bullying and abuse that is already a huge issue for trans people.

If one thing should be taken from this, please just treat these people with common decency, use the pronouns they choose, do not inquire deeply about their personal transition unless they’re comfortable discussing it, and perhaps don’t spread rhetoric along the lines of “oh it’s just teenage angst” as it is objectively far deeper than that.

SantaClawsServiette · 01/02/2022 15:02

Oh, I thought of another. Teen girl whose mum I know, transitioned socially and started hormones at 15, had a mastectomy at 16. Mum worked in a gender clinic, child is autistic.

Guacamoleontoast · 01/02/2022 15:00

You have to ask yourself how many of these transitioning teens would be doing it if social media didn't exist.

Pluvia · 01/02/2022 14:55

@steppemum

well, I have 2 dds.

Both say they are trans
One is 16 and has now legally changed name and on her 17 birthday wants to get referred to adult GIDS
The other is 14 and all over the place.

because of my dds, I know about 20-50 young people alos gender questioning.
They are part of a LGBTQ club at school. Its first meeting after lockdown had 80 members. Most of those are non-binary and trans rather than just gay.
Dd1 goes ot a club in our town. Average weekly meeting 50 kids. (no cross over with school as this is another town) LGBTQ club. But most are gender questioning, rather than gay.

What do you mean 'just gay'?

I used to belong to an informal LGB network where we raised money to fund and support to run clubs and events for young LGB people, helping them to develop confidence and friendship networks with people who understood and supported their same-sex preference.

Now they've got to come out and navigate in a world in which there is no separate LGB space and they're always expected to share space with young people who are basically involved in a homophobic movement. TQ+ is all about gender, self-ID, belief. TQ+ organisations and leaders don't believe in sex: sex is old-fashioned. As Peter Tatchell said the other other day, soon everyone will be bisexual and no one will be attached to outdated genital preferences.

So what happens to those who are same-sex attracted? Do they get sucked into gender reassignment to?

This is so sick. LGB adults are one thing — we've grown up and fought for the right to be who we are. But lumping LGB kids into groups where sex isn't considered a material and their same-sex attraction is under question is totally twisted.

SantaClawsServiette · 01/02/2022 14:44

Oh, actually, now that I think of it, I know a male teen as well increasingly taking on traditionally female clothing. I've been kind of waiting for the penny to drop with transition but who knows, he isn't in school so he might not have the same pressure to go that way. He was always kind of an odd kid with clothing choices but it's seemed to me recently it's changed focus a lot.

SantaClawsServiette · 01/02/2022 14:39

I know a number.

For many years I've known a transwoman who transitioned in middle age in 1980 - previously lived as a gay man. One of the earliest sex change operations in my country.

I know quite a few friends of my young teen daughter now calling themselves boys, all with the same 3 names.

Two female people I worked with who identify as non-binary and queer - years ago would have just been lesbians. They are a bit older, 20 for one, 30 for the other.

Fellow who works at the mall in the cosmetics section who lives as a woman though I'm not entirely sure what pronouns were used as it seemed confusing to me, I don't know this person well but my elderly grandfather was quite friendly with the individual, they always seemed like an odd pair.

But apart from the first and last of these, all within the last few years (less than five.)

CandyLeBonBon · 01/02/2022 14:38

My eldest son is dating a transman, autistic and with horrible endometriosis who wants to go the full medicalisation pathway. My Dd is 13 and says she wants to be a boy. Has short hair, refers to herself by a gender neutral name at school wears gender neutral clothes etc. When asked what 'being a boy' realistically means, she can't answer, strops off and accuses me of not understanding her.

I looked like Ron Weasley at her age. I've shown her the pictures.

'Iron fist in a velvet glove' is very much the approach I'm taking.

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