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Original poster

Parenting Advice Column in the Times

60 replies

Igneococcus · 24/01/2022 07:59

Has Prof Tanya Byron been fast asleep for the past ten years? Has she no idea what is going on in schools?

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/50654cc4-7adf-11ec-9998-b2483743c25e?shareToken=8ce9c22e7244ae5d22e4421c52f6e7fc

OP posts:
MrPanks · 24/01/2022 18:24

@Babdoc
I have lost all respect for Byron over this article. The only response to “my daughter doesn’t fit toxic dated gender stereotypes” should be “change the stereotypes”, not “change your daughter’s body and render her sterile and a medical patient for life”.

Spot on.

BrinksmansEntry · 24/01/2022 17:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

SwissBall · 24/01/2022 15:49

Here - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3832833-how-did-we-get-here-podcast

Seems like she has written on this topic before too judging by this comment -

Tanya has swallowed the Kool Aid. She does an advice column in the Times, and tells anyone concerned about gender dysphoric children to affirm them being trans.

SwissBall · 24/01/2022 15:45

There was an episode of her podcast with Claudia Winkleman where she had a woman on whose husband had transitioned and iirc she wasn’t supportive to the woman at all. Does anyone remember? I’ll try and find the thread.

HermioneWeasley · 24/01/2022 15:36

She’s completely negligent here - not to mention batshit when going on about Joan of Arc being trans.

Sex “assigned” at birth, debunked suicide stats, use of homophobic slur “queer” - it’s awful

FrancescaContini · 24/01/2022 15:29

@ErrolTheDragon

But there is no such thing as a 'non binary' body that this girl can transition into.

There was some disturbing info on a recent thread about 'gender nullification' surgery. Basically, removing secondary sexual characteristics. Sad

That’s just very shocking to read.
ErrolTheDragon · 24/01/2022 15:25

But there is no such thing as a 'non binary' body that this girl can transition into.

There was some disturbing info on a recent thread about 'gender nullification' surgery. Basically, removing secondary sexual characteristics. Sad

SantaClawsServiette · 24/01/2022 15:24

I think there can be a few things going on with NB. But for most, it seems to have a lot with avoiding sexual things in some way - maybe altogether or maybe just parts of them. That can be the fear of having sex, the fear of being a sexual object, a dislike of perceived expectations, or something similar.

In some cases to me it seems to be about a type of reversion to a pre-pubescent body, where the person haven't really even accepted their adult body as part of their self-image. Maybe to a more idyllic childhood state or one that is percieved as safe.

WeeBisom · 24/01/2022 15:07

GAHgamel, interesting so non binary identity isn't so much its own 'thing' but rather a rejection of her female identity? It's very sad to see, but I can totally get why young women want to reject their female embodiment.

GAHgamel · 24/01/2022 15:02

@WeeBisom

What I find confusing is how gender dysphoria applies to non binary identities. I can understand the traditional story, that someone wants to be female but actually has a male body. But there is no such thing as a 'non binary' body that this girl can transition into. Surely a non binary body can be anything she wants it to be? I would be interested in getting a therapist to explore with her why she is in such torment over her female body.
It's about opting out of female, not opting in to something specific I think.
WeeBisom · 24/01/2022 14:53

What I find confusing is how gender dysphoria applies to non binary identities. I can understand the traditional story, that someone wants to be female but actually has a male body. But there is no such thing as a 'non binary' body that this girl can transition into. Surely a non binary body can be anything she wants it to be? I would be interested in getting a therapist to explore with her why she is in such torment over her female body.

hivemindneeded · 24/01/2022 13:37

She lost my respect years ago when I read her memoir, The Skeleton Closet. It was surprisingly self-centred and self-congratulatory, lacking in any depth of insight. I actually finished it thinking, "Shit, this person can't be any good as a pysch. She lacks complex, mature, emotional understanding of other people.

OldCrone · 24/01/2022 13:36

@Igneococcus

She is also plugging a book.

"Finally, I want to recommend The Queer Mental Health Workbook written by my colleague Dr Brendan Dunlop and soon to be published (which can be pre-ordered from uk.jkp.com)."

The book is endorsed by Meg John Barker.

There was a thread a few years ago about a publication by Barker, which included this (later deleted) gem: " In some northern working-class contexts femininity is associated with strength and aggression."

This led to women on here self-identifying as trans northern.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3339137-BACP-Gender-Sexual-and-Relationship-Diversity-by-Dr-Meg-John-Barker?pg=1

SantaClawsServiette · 24/01/2022 13:31

@Franca123

I've always been somewhat sceptical about pysocolgy and psychiatry. Nonetheless, I have read this column for years and felt the advise was considered and useful. Reading today's comment, I've fully reverted to thinking that most therapy is total guff. What a disappointment.
There was a link through a thread here the other day to this article about someone undergoing Jungian type therapy. I found it interesting that, like other examples of Jungian therapy, although a lot of people think it's much less evidence based than these other supposedly scientific approaches, it frankly seems far more substantial and contains far more depth than they do.

quillette.com/2021/03/07/for-our-own-good-we-all-need-a-glimpse-of-the-evil-queen/

Abitofalark · 24/01/2022 12:59

@PaleBlueMoonlight

I can't see any comments?
I can't normally see the comments under The Times articles either. But I found I could see them if I used a different browser. That will probably work for you too.
MummBRaaarrrTheEverLeaking · 24/01/2022 11:48

@FrancescaContini

I stopped reading Tanya’s comments at “sex assigned at birth”. She has no ability to think critically.

Very very disappointing.

Same. If I read anything from anyone who uses the phrase "sex assigned at birth", it's like a signal that the brain has long left the building and has been replaced by woo woo fluff.
Franca123 · 24/01/2022 11:26

I've always been somewhat sceptical about pysocolgy and psychiatry. Nonetheless, I have read this column for years and felt the advise was considered and useful. Reading today's comment, I've fully reverted to thinking that most therapy is total guff. What a disappointment.

ChateauMargaux · 24/01/2022 11:01

The only response to “my daughter doesn’t fit toxic dated gender stereotypes” should be “change the stereotypes”, not “change your daughter’s body and render her sterile and a medical patient for life”.

FrancescaContini · 24/01/2022 10:58

And what is “relationship diverse”??? Do they mean: gay/lesbian/bisexual? Surely ANY therapist nowadays wouldn’t remotely have an issue with someone needing to discuss their sexuality?

Why the need to “re-brand” sexuality?

FrancescaContini · 24/01/2022 10:56

@Imnobody4

And recommends Pink Therapy. When your child is ready to engage with a therapist, Pink Therapy holds a directory of therapists that are specifically trained and accredited to work with gender, sexuality and relationship-diverse people (pinktherapy.com).
Which means…affirming rather than questioning.
endofthelinefinally · 24/01/2022 10:53

I am afraid that person is only interested in themselves/image/popularity/money/celebrity status.

Imnobody4 · 24/01/2022 10:51

And recommends Pink Therapy.
When your child is ready to engage with a therapist, Pink Therapy holds a directory of therapists that are specifically trained and accredited to work with gender, sexuality and relationship-diverse people (pinktherapy.com).

FrancescaContini · 24/01/2022 10:50

OMG

WTAF is “queer mental health”???

Original poster
Igneococcus · 24/01/2022 10:26

She is also plugging a book.

"Finally, I want to recommend The Queer Mental Health Workbook written by my colleague Dr Brendan Dunlop and soon to be published (which can be pre-ordered from uk.jkp.com)."

OP posts:
Masdintle · 24/01/2022 09:24

How very arrogant of the child to turn down the opportunity of counselling because she/they doesn't think they'll be able to find a counsellor for her/them who knows enough of the right stuff. Amazing how teenagers know more than doctors. Who is coaching these teens in this way? Get her/them off the internet.