Dad taking daughters into the ladies or disabled toilets

People still do that.

Back in the day, I remember my dad asking another woman to take me into the loos. It was pretty common, I think.

None of them are disabled or babies. Just as small boys go into the Ladies with their mothers because their mothers sex is pertinent, these girls should go with their father.

People are forgetting here that some disabled toilets are also a baby change area

When i was a nanny, to a baby, a 3 year old girl and 2 five year old boys
We always went into the disabled toilet if there wasnt a toilet in the baby changing area

I think the baby change area is the best option, if not, i personally think the disabled toilet is best

Can he not just put some wipes in his pocket and wipe the seat?

Absolute no to going in the women’s toilets as there will be vulnerable women/girls using it.
No to using the disabled toilets if no one in the group had a disability.
Yes to planning ahead so he can care for his children’s needs without encroaching on the rights of others.

If a bloke could yell into the ladies that he's coming in (so they can prepare/cover up/leave etc), then he can yell into the mens that he is coming in with his young daughter (so they can prepare/cover up/leave)

And as to cleanliness - exactly what a PP said - he should carry wipes with him, and if the toilet is unacceptable clean it, then complain.

Open women’s toilets open for 1 man, soon a lot of them will have ‘plausible excuses’ on why they should be able to go there too.
Why do some men think they’re so special that women’s safe spaces should be open to them or ic they’re female, their Nigel? At the expense of other women and girls sense of safety?
Surely it’s up to them to find a solution for their problem (there is always one) that doesn’t violate others rights.

Fathers in this situation should use the disabled toilets because more often than not, they are now labelled ‘accessible’ rather than disabled. That means they are for the use of anyone who can’t access toilet facilities in either of the other provided options.

Men should absolutely not be in the ladies, but a single use accessible space can be comfortably used be anyone who needs it.

Agree 100% with the poster above and the various points made.
Also, say you're a 10 year old girl, perfectly capable of going to the ladies toilet on your own.

You enter through the main door, immediately seeing a man standing there on his own.
This is nothing new to you, since you have been brought up with seeing men in the ladies loo.
These men have been there because they have much younger daughters who cannot be allowed to use the toilet on their own and cannot be expected to use the gents with their dad.
Or maybe they are there because they want to use the toilet themselves.
Either way, nothing immediately alerts you to any danger with the man being there, as you've seen many men before in the ladies toilet.
Only this particular man doesn't have daughters who are using the toilet, he is there for other reasons,
Before you know it, he is behind the locked door of the cubicle toilet with you, or he assaults you as you come out of the cubicle.
When I was a young girl, the sight of any man in the ladies toilet would immediately warn me that this was wrong, I would have fled.
If the sight of men in ladies toilets becomes the norm, how lucky for those men who prey

Perhaps you could try reading through the nearly six months old thread you bumped and you would see the long list of reasons that women desire privacy extending beyond the cubicle door.

I'll summarise some for you:

• Using toilet while supervising pram
• Needing to clean blood-soaked underwear/trousers/skirt
• Adolescents embarrassed about periods
• Muslim women needing to remove their hijabs

I certainly would never be offended by you doing this…I would much prefer than than you taking them into the Gents, blocking a disabled toilet or letting them go in on their own (which in this day and age if very risky!) some places have unisex toilets these day - I really don’t know what peoples issues are, you are behind a locked door! Pls keep doing what you are doing

My dad has 3 daughters (I'm the eldest), he managed to go our whole childhoods without going into the ladies toilets or female changing rooms.
He also has 5 sisters and grew up in a 2 bed flat, along with his mum, dad and 3 brothers, he knows when women need their space!

The only issue for me would be boys as there could be a safety issue.

Sorry but he should use the mens or disabled. I would be fuming if a bloke was wondering round the ladies, it is massively disrespectful to the women and girls in there.

I'd be very unhappy to find a man in the ladies' whoever he came in with. And his plan sounds completely impractical. What's he going to do if a Muslim woman has come in while he was hiding in a cubicle? Or if his daughters come out while he's in his cubicle? He's not expecting to fit three of them in together is he? Seems to me he'd be better waiting outside anyway then they can't wander off. If they don't come out then there's time to ask someone going in to check on them, or knock on door and shout out.

I think option a) go somewhere with single room loos or a family loo. Option b) go somewhere where there aren't urinals and men's is cleaned regularly.

Generally I felt if they were old enough to care about being in the wrong sex loos they were old enough to go in the right sex on their own. When ours were 4-5 they didn't care and either went in men's with DH or women's with me. At 6-7 we would ask which they preferred. At 8+ they went in own sex no choice.

I don't really understand the reluctance that some parents have around taking children into the men's

Like I said OH nearly always took DD into the mens . Two examples when he said fuck it and used the disabled toilet.

Once when a very drunk or high or both man was pissing in the middle of the floor, waving it around shouting and swearing at who knows what. DD really needed to go and couldn't wait for him to get staff to get the man out first. He did after DD went and the man was still there,still shouting.

Another was when all the cubicles were filthy (piss,shit and vomit) but since it was a small place he just sent DD in the ladies and waited outside. All it takes is one small place with just one person that has some kind of issue to make a toilet too dirty to use. Male or female.

If I'm with him, I obviously take her. If he's on his own it's the men's and occasionally accessible toilets or if the place is small enough ladies with him watching. It worked for us/him as most of the time they'd be in places geared at kids/families so facilities tend to be fairly clean and appropriate for use. Luckily she's old enough now to go by herself anywhere as long as we're waiting for her outside. For the majority of children we're only talking a limited amount of years where it can be tricky to navigate and even then with planning there can be options.

If a father was to take his young daughter to a swimming pool with open plan single sex changing rooms, which changing room should they use?

This for me underlines how women's dignity and privacy is slowly eroded. It starts by saying that there are stalls and therefore surely there is no issue with men coming in so just be kind. And then the boundary is extended - if so many women say that is fine, surely just a bit more, what is wrong with a man coming in when women may be partially dressed if they have a young daughter in tow, to blur the lines, surely women should be kind... and then if women are happy with a man with a young daughter, why not without?

He needs to go into the men's toilets

I don't really understand the reluctance that some parents have around taking children into the men's

When I challenged older boys in the womens apparently men’s loos are full of paedo’s and boys aren’t safe in there . That and men’s are smelly and unclean.

I don't really understand the reluctance that some parents have around taking children into the men's.
Probably because that's too ordinary an act then there aren't people telling them how,wonderful they are for looking after their own kids. And they won't be able to post about it on social media.

I too am a father of daughters. I've taken mine into male loos on many occasions, and into communal male changing rooms at swimming pools and gyms. The swimming pool we used to use had a clear policy on the doors - no males over 8 in the women's changing rooms (and vice versa), which seems very sensible to me. It wouldn't have occured to me to use the disabled facilities.

I don't really understand the reluctance that some parents have around taking children into the men's. Obviously I wouldn't send them in on their own, but with a male parent or carer with them, I don't see an issue.

IndigoandCerulean:

Don’t use the disabled toilets if you are not disabled

A good prima facie principle, obviously. Of course I thought about the issues you raise.

As I think I said, though, in all the times I took a grandchild into a disabled toilet, not once did my actions cause any difficulty for any disabled person. (How do I know? Well, I used to not lock the door ...)

Mostly, in fact, the 'accessible/disabled' space doubled explicitly as 'baby change' facility, as you mention. But, in any case, even if that was not explicitly so, I treated it as such. Disabled friends were supportive at the time (and why not?).

That is all in the past now anyway, sadly. My own age-related disabilities are beginning to apply.

Come to think of it, though, I do go a bit further than this -- more developed second thoughts, perhaps. Here. I am happy that we as a society are more civilised than we used to be wrt disabled access and so on. (We may well have some way to go, indeed.) But I do not share the attitude of certain people that a disability automatically trumps all other needs or requirements. Sometimes disabled people have to take their turn like anyone else. Sometimes, just perhaps, my granddaughter may have needed that particular toilet more than you may have done. Circumstances alter cases. No?

It is a difficult issues - and the ideal would be toilets which were individual complete with wash basin so they can be used by anyone. Some restaurants have these - but most places don't.

The point about this is when face with what to do people need to make an immediate decision - in the OPs case a dilemma is given. I am sure everyone will look at the circumstance of the facilities that are available and if possible use individual cubical if available if not male toilets if they are not appropriate then baby /parent facitilies, if not then disabled toilets. People will not rush ahead if they see long queues of people waiting for disabled toilets, but if they are free and not being used then that is the best of course of action.

We could list a host of scenarios but they aren't always helpful as there are so many different scenarios or "what if". Yes campaign for faculties but these do not magically appear overnight so meanwhile people make decisions and I would say that most people use common sense and are considerate. For the most part disabled toilets are not used but they are I agree essential and important for those who cannot access non-disabled toilets

You wouldn’t know them Too they go to another school

My dad always took us into the mens & my BIL always took my niece into the mens as well. I can’t imagine it ever occurred to them to go into the ladies