So brave

if it is dangerous to say you are trans in a club, (is it?) it must be more dangerous to snog straight men in a club?

I do care when GNC males esp when done up in vv stereotype feminine way are attacked, raped and so on by a man or men.

In any circs.

This article is not related to that apart from.

Assuming going clubs where straight men and pulling. That is risky for sure.

And the idea they should tell trans to random bloke/s in clubs who approach, mutual flirting etc. Is obv incredibly risky, at some point going to get violence.

So on that. True.

Men need to step up on the toxic norms v common amongst men, and the propensity to violence, sexual violence etc.

As a side note. While I totally agree no need to tell anything personal to random pull and snog. I mean that's normal not to spill that stuff.

I do think that the attitudes in some areas around it being extra amazing to pull straight man needs to be addressed. Again, one for the men.

Excellent post.

I graduated a 3 year degree when I was 20. This was after starting school early and staying on for 6th year. I had a hell of a job explaining how I had completed a degree and post graduate and was still only 21.

And I certainly didn’t have £££ for cosmetic surgery!

A social worker degree is three years. It can be done in two years, but as post grad & with work experiences

Questionable all round.

The bottom line is that this is the upshot of being a gay transwoman. It is not for women to sort out what is or is not the correct behaviour. That is something for men to sort out.

I don't care.

All I want is for this young person not to be in any space I expect to be single sex, female, or to approach me in any circumstances where I may be vulnerable, claiming to be female.

Biology matters.

Transwomen are not women? Are you suggesting that there is some intrinsic difference that needs to be accounted for? Or why would we have to consider this at all?

Welcome to the GC Side, @BlueberryCheezecake

[quote CervixSampler]I've just read this in the local paper. From a personal point of view I am uncomfortable with the thought that a social worker is not the sex that I perceive them to be. Our family have a social worker due to my abusive exH and DV is discussed with her. A social worker is working with very vulnerable people and I would be very uncomfortable if my social worker turned out to the not biologically female. I'm autistic and struggle enough. My brain will not accept the opposite of what my eyes see. This trans woman is saying they have passing privilege but women know, especially in close up situations, what sex someone is.

I think it's wrong to be misleading people you are snogging at clubs. It takes away personal choice.

I could say a lot more but anyways fear the HQ hammer.

Bolton trans woman hits back at online trolls who say she is 'misleading' men www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/young-trans-woman-bolton-hits-22725721[/quote]
its a hard one for me, my ex was abusive I have had social workers and councilors etc, I actually think the fact my first councilor and social worker were male helped me not to generalize, I know the not all men thing is a bit of a meme, but it does help if you can learn to deal with them.

my son still has not, he refuses male councilors and therapists and wont use mens public toilets, (he goes in with me or pisses up a tree or something) he is 11.

but is this not deception? I just think people should have choice who they see, if your not comfortable around a man thats your choice.

I think it's been established that this person is not a social worker, and like any young person spending that amount on plastic surgery, this person surely has 'issues'.

More generally, I agree with what @Voice0fReason said.

I think that ideally individuals should be able to request the sex of their social worker, though can understand that resources might not make that possible/easy for the services to guarantee to service users.

As for disclosing trans status in a club, I don't think it is necessary but what I would say is that, in any situation where someone finds out they've been conned then the victim of the con will not be happy and as the conman (so to speak), it is wise to be aware that there are some not very nice people out there who will take matters in to their own hands if you con them.

Apart from the fake tan and being a social worker at the age of 20, I don't really have a problem with this.

This is someone who is attracted to men, has medically transitioned (to some extent) and seems generally harmless. My main concern is about men who pretend to be trans with self-ID (no medical transition, and mainly don't even bother to present with a feminine appearance) to get into female-only spaces, she is clearly not one of those.

I didn’t know that Social Worker was a protected title. Years ago, I dated a bloke who said he was a social worker. In fact, he wasn’t a qualified social worker, he was a carer for adults with learning disabilities. He eventually told me his full (long) job title. I can’t quite remember it, but it included the words “social”, “worker” and “domiciliary” and probably “care” as well.

Perhaps Tayla has a similar job and the journalist shortened the job title?

You don't have to bellow "I'm trans" over club music, or otherwise put yourself at potential risk, to allow prospective sexual partners to have a choice in whether to kiss someone male. You just have to ...not snog them. That's all. If you do want to snog them, arrange a date, where both parties are less likely to be already drunk and can make informed decisions.

What an odd first post JDaytona.

That's an extremely orange person.

"They don't understand that I'm still a woman." That was the bit of the article that puzzled me, she is a transwoman, not a woman.

I agree with those who think this person should protect herself. Men can be very angry when they find out someone who they fancied, is trans. I had a discussion years ago with a man who said it would undermine their masculinity if they found out and they would be very angry. Apparently in the US their are lots of attacks on mtf trans people. I think she's being sensible. I wonder if there are gender neutral loos in the clubs she frequents.

Had a quick look. Nothing saying whether could choose sex of social worker.

Can ask for different one but rare to get change.

Meaning unless I missed something-

SW mainly female some male
Request sex looks like not a thing

And they're not doing anything intimate etc are they.
What surely most important is they good at their job. Empathy, real help etc when needed, concern followed up and acted on if needed.
To be kind but look out for things. Not get wool pulled over eyes by charming liars. Not make snap judgements, decide understand what's going on due to bias etc.

OP you say would be upset male SW. What are your reasons?

As you say pretty much can always tell male. So you've got a male social worker. So what.
If can't tell vvv unusual then what harm are you actually caused in this context?

As long as they good at job etc then imo so what? Ok if find out then wtf but if you happy with their approach, attitude, advice etc then in the end is it really s big deal? Better than a horrible one of either sex surely.

Plus of course.

PPs have checked and register etc mean pretty certain indeed this person not SW anyway.

Your current SW you sure not trans.

Likelihood of getting a TW (or TM?) SW got to be tiny.

I think you're worrying over nothing here tbh.

I assume you live in Bolton that's how saw article. Local. This person not SW 99.999% certainty so you're not going to get as SW.
And if you did know male so as per previous comments. As long as decent at job then ok maybe not 100% keen based on what know from article but surely not enough of concern to get so worried about?

In the event a social worker was trans, I think the social worker should be sensitive to the needs of the clients, whenever their legal sex is relevant. I also think it is important to centre the needs of the families. Simply put, the people you will be working with may not have the headspace to be meeting your emotional needs. If it is vital to you that everyone uses your preferred pronouns, not the job for you.

When it comes to clubs though, I really don't care. If I had the power to police activity in clubs, my priorities would be that no-one spikes anyone's drink, no-one lies about being single (when actually married with kids), no-one sexually assaults someone else, that people back off when told to back off, and that no-one snogs anyone else when they have active cold sores and so on.

If you kiss attractive strangers in a club, I don't think those strangers are obliged to bellow 'I'm trans' over the top of the music. It would jeopardise Dow's safety and I just don't think it's a fair expectation.

Equally, for Dow's own safety I think they should discuss that they're trans before they get anywhere close to actually shagging someone from a club, but sounds like Dow already knows that.

I wish TD joy and contentment in their life to come.

And who all worked up about it?

Betcha chaps pretty much.

I wonder at the decision to put face and loads info that is v identifying, personal iinfo given what the article is about.

Also why posting this online on first place? Clear if got more than friends etc seeing would mean loads of shit from randoms.

And not true social worker?

I think wants to be spotted for model or similar.

Her comments near end were a bit odd to me.

The men don't deserve to know? Isn't it to do with no issue normal not to spill personal stuff to random snog in club?

Comment that passes? And history of transition which is entirely irrelevant.

Other things like that.

In the end this is a bit in local paper I mean meh really with it all.

The subject of the article. Getting abuse for not telling men who come up in clubs, chat them up, offer drink, bit of a snog.

Really shitty tbh.

I mean FFS a drink and a snog? Bit of an over clothes handsiness?

No of course not a problem not saying.

In situations like that people don't reveal stuff I mean. Wtf?
I mean it's just obvious that that's normal!

Who the hell says when someone comes up and says drink? Or before snog in club.
I'm married
I've got kids
I've had kids with 3 different women
I've got a drug habit/ gambling addiction/ loads of debt/ a padded bra on they're not that big/ a wig on to hide bald spot/ a big scar on abdomen/ a fetish involving jam and kippers/ I live with my mum....

I mean FFS!

Looks like not actually social worker anyway. And I didn't even notice that when read before whole op, it was such a tiny bit of the whole thing.

So no abuse NO WAY ok.

Funny how all the comments to the article saying it’s wrong/illegal etc. are quite happy to distinguish between biological women and transwomen for relationship purposes. Seems TWANW in the mind of the greater public, at least among men in Manchester . . . (unless you’re a lesbian of course, then just STFU)

I don't really have a problem with this. She seems to be very upfront about being trans before she dates anyone.

The kissing part I'm torn on. I can imagine some people would be very upset kissing a woman to later find out she's a transwoman. However, I don't think it is practical or safe to declare you're trans to everyone you meet in a nightclub. If you're buying someone a drink or kissing them in a nightclub the only thing you can do is take them at face value whether or not they're trans.

I've NC'd for this for obvious reasons.

I'm currently studying for my MA in social work.

"Social Worker" is a protected title, which means it's illegal to call yourself such without the appropriate qualifications and professional registrations.

I'm not suggesting this person has deliberately mis-represented themselves in this regard as it could be a misunderstanding on the part of the journalist.

Unless you are some sort of prodigy who went to Uni years ahead of your age, it would be impossible to gain this title at the age of 20 - even without having spent years undergoing invasive surgery in tandem.

As for the question of should a trans person be a SW then the answer has to be that it's not something you should discriminate against legally or morally imho.

That said, like ANY SW they'd be expected to abide by professional standards and codes of practice and could be disciplined for not doing so.

SW practice is focused on centring the needs of the service user and if there is a conflict of interest in you being able to do that, it's expected you would declare it.