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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Never forget how much they fucking hate us

37 replies

JustcameoutGC · 06/01/2022 06:55

Apologies for the guardian link, but this is such a distressing read.
I had no idea of how bad revenge porn was and no clue that the vast majority of it is totally legal.
Until men stop behaving like this, no men in our spaces.

www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/06/i-have-moments-of-shame-i-cant-control-the-lives-ruined-by-explicit-collector-culture

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NotTerfNorCis · 07/01/2022 22:30

Thing is.. women wouldn't do this to men. You wouldn't get big websites of women trading nude photos of men and mocking and degrading them. Men and women ARE different.

WomanStillNotAFeeling · 07/01/2022 22:03

MargaritaPie
But was it a case of official company policy, or just some pervert employee acting illegally for his own perverse gain?

I suggest you google the term “voyeur hidden camera toilets” we’re not talking ‘just some pervert employee acting illegally for his own perverse gain’ we’re talking lots and lots and lots of them.

You’ve been on this board too long to still be so naive

DdraigGoch · 07/01/2022 17:52

But was it a case of official company policy, or just some pervert employee acting illegally for his own perverse gain?

They were found in both the male and female toilets in an IKEA warehouse. Looks like it was a manager snooping on their staff to check if they were skiving.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 07/01/2022 17:48

But was it a case of official company policy, or just some pervert employee acting illegally for his own perverse gain?

Notice how you assume it was a male doing it!

FlyingOink · 07/01/2022 16:32

Plenty of companies have had hidden cameras in their toilets
MPie you know the word "hidden" in this context refers to the surreptitious placement of spy cameras by individuals, and not an illegal use of company CCTV. But obviously you're not posting in good faith.

TInkyWlnky · 07/01/2022 16:22

But was it a case of official company policy, or just some pervert employee acting illegally for his own perverse gain?

Does official company policy make it better somehow?

MargaritaPie · 07/01/2022 16:13

@Imayhaveerred

Google is your friend, Pie

Even IKEA was caught with cameras in its employee loos.

Now perhaps we could get back to the actual issue?

But was it a case of official company policy, or just some pervert employee acting illegally for his own perverse gain?
FlyingOink · 07/01/2022 14:42

I have known men who traded pics at work, and provided they don't use the company WiFi to do so, nobody gave a shit, even when it was a colleague they were sharing pics of.

Generally people either think she had it coming (including the kind of women who believe nothing bad will happen to them if they follow the rules and subscribe to the "but what was she wearing" school of thought) or they take the "boys will be boys" attitude, or both.

That's why I always advise women to never send these types of pics. As horny as he might be, as much as he swears it's just for his eyes, and that a picture of another woman just won't cut it because you are so special blah blah, there's no guarantee that pic won't exist online forever.

It's not like men don't have a limitless source of naked women online to wank over is it?

FlyingOink · 07/01/2022 14:38

@MarbleQueen

I would imagine it would be quite easy to identify these men. And make a database of them.
You could make a database of men who had been sent pics but it would have to be reported by the women and girls themselves, and I'm not sure how you'd prevent someone lying - and saying that Dave ruined her life etc when actually she sent the pic to Gavin. Also it wouldn't be of any use in terms of prosecution.

As for the sites, they will be anonymised and the EXIF information will be removed by the site.

www.howtogeek.com/289712/how-to-see-an-images-exif-data-in-windows-and-macos/

These things are set up to provide plausible deniability for the men who use them.

Also, sadly, if you outed a man you knew was doing this, either on a website or just on WhatsApp/telegram/similar, you'd probably find many people either don't give a shit or would argue the woman or girl involved was fair game for having sent the pics in the first place. Misogyny is pretty ingrained in people.

ChateauMargaux · 07/01/2022 14:27

How can misgendering someone attract the attention of the police and stating that we cannot change sex be a hate crime but this is not???

MarbleQueen · 07/01/2022 14:18

I would imagine it would be quite easy to identify these men. And make a database of them.

Slothtoes · 07/01/2022 13:56

Christ this is fucking horrible. Our MPs need an urgent education in porn culture and what it’s doing to women and girls and how MPs need to urgently build a modern system in law to deal with it.

Imayhaveerred · 07/01/2022 07:18

Google is your friend, Pie

Even IKEA was caught with cameras in its employee loos.

Now perhaps we could get back to the actual issue?

MargaritaPie · 07/01/2022 01:51

@WomanStillNotAFeeling

That’s grim Shock I never let my DH take intimate pictures of me but I do worry about hidden cameras in changing rooms and toilets. Plenty of companies have had hidden cameras in their toilets but they mostly ensure the info doesn’t go public. Sharing of any intimate pictures without permission needs to be illegal
"Plenty of companies have had hidden cameras in their toilets"

What?

DdraigGoch · 07/01/2022 01:19

@FannyCann

The site is surely a massive doxxing site with details of addresses and other information? How can it possibly be legal? Apart from anything else it puts these women at huge risk, it's terrible.
It's not legal, no. But it's difficult to get a conviction, there are too many loopholes. According to the article, the Dutch police got the site shut down but they simply moved it to Russia. Internet crime is a nightmare for the police because of its global nature. You simply base your operation in a dodgy country and you can act with impunity.
BraveBananaBadge · 06/01/2022 22:23

Absolutely sickening to read.

One thing that stood out is how this is facilitated by Reddit, when they'll shut down feminist boards. I really can't believe that's something they let stand.

SportsMother · 06/01/2022 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mamajunebugjones · 06/01/2022 21:21

The article was shocking - both that it happens but also we are not more aware of these sites.

The law and safeguarding procedures seem on a back foot with this- as with other aspects of policing the internet. There must be a way of highlighting risks to women.

Simply cannot believe it’s not illegal. Also really sad to read this on the day heard about it becoming illegal to take photos of breastfeeding mothers. One step forward- a hundred back

ScrollingLeaves · 06/01/2022 20:55

I was trying to see if there was a site about what once would have been called ‘gentlemanly’ -as opposed to cad - behaviour (about never talking about private sexual matters relating to your wife, girlfriend, or anyone really,to others) that might apply to photos and videos now they are so common.

I couldn’t find anything, at least not with a short search.

I saw there is a site called watch my girlfriend.porn and a mention below ‘Watch three horny gentlemen exploit a slut’s holes’

How right you are OP about the hate. Imagine calling themselves gentlemen and her a slut?!

FlyingOink · 06/01/2022 15:31

there are some men who will show off/exchange explicit photos of their female partners ( ex or otherwise) down the pub etc

I know men who do this. Without sounding like I'm blaming victims, it is really important that women stop sending naked selfies. It's even possible to have them pinched off a cloud based server, although that is less likely.

These men swear they'd never do such a thing and then swap images like top trumps cards or rare Pokémon. Often the women never find out.

sleepymum50 · 06/01/2022 12:09

Thankyou for posting this. I had heard of revenge porn and had recently found out (thanks to a mumsnet thread) there are some men who will show off/exchange explicit photos of their female partners ( ex or otherwise) down the pub etc.

I’ve just sent the guardian link to my 24 yr old DD, to ask if it common knowledge among her age group.

Will send it on to a few of my friends who have daughters (and sons).

Maybe this is one of the threads we do want the lazy reporters to pick up?

Yebbie · 06/01/2022 11:06

This is just horrific Sad

powershowerforanhour · 06/01/2022 11:00

"In one case, one woman said,the officer actuallyyawned and said it was the 20th AnonIB report of the day"
Good grief.

"“Evidence from studies shows that just as teenage girls are pressured to send nudes, teenage boys are also feeling pressure to get nudes and share them, to gain kudos. Collecting digital trophies is becoming part of being a boy and a man – that’s what we need to change.”

What, like boys are pressured by their mates to join in throwing stones at cats and vandalising things? They know it's a scummy, shameful thing to do.

ArabellaScott · 06/01/2022 10:59

Christ.

“People would rather think perpetrators of intimate image abuse are either perverts or an extremely malicious ‘other’ type of person,” she says. “The truth is that it’s everyday men and boys. Closed groups, lad chats, bonding over explicit images and ‘banter’ has become absolutely ubiquitous.”

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