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Original poster

To not understand the issue with surrogacy?

987 replies

Blackbird1234 · 30/12/2021 18:29

I've seen a few posts on some threads in this topic, from people condemning surrogacy. I don't understand why it is seen as bad, if all parties consent. Can anyone explain, please?

OP posts:
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13
GoodieMoomin · 30/12/2021 23:07

How does surrogacy benefit the new born baby who is created with the express purpose of removing it from its mother shortly after birth?

It doesn't.

So it's a no from me.

Having children isn't a human right.

Starcup · 30/12/2021 23:06

@NotBadConsidering

What about the women who bring children in to the world when the father has specified he doesn’t want to be involved? Is that not immoral?

Yes. On the part of the father.

If he’s made it clear from the outset though then it could be argued it’s on the mother for going ahead regardless of the outcome
littlbrowndog · 30/12/2021 23:06

It’s about the baby starcup

It’s hard being adopted but being bought must be harder

RepentMotherfucker · 30/12/2021 23:06

"What about the women who bring children in to the world when the father has specified he doesn’t want to be involved? Is that not immoral? Bringing a child in to the word whereby they won’t have a relationship with their biological father?

What about those that bring children in to severe poverty, over crammed damp housing?

The point being, if it’s all about the best interests of the child, then half of the people on here will have brought a baby in to the world under less than ideal circumstances."

So because some people have children and don't look after them properly it's ok to conceive a child and then traumatise it by taking it away from its biological mother??

And you think 50% of the people on this thread have had babies under these circumstances?

Logic is not your strong point is it?

NotBadConsidering · 30/12/2021 23:04

What about the women who bring children in to the world when the father has specified he doesn’t want to be involved? Is that not immoral?

Yes. On the part of the father.

littlbrowndog · 30/12/2021 23:04

adopted children. Will always want to know our roots and why

Being sold as a baby. They will still want to know their roots

Starcup · 30/12/2021 23:04

@littlbrowndog

Selling children is not right

That’s what surrogacy is

Selling small human beings who can’t say. We don’t want to be sold

What if no money exchanges hands and a woman wants to do it?
littlbrowndog · 30/12/2021 23:02

Selling children is not right

That’s what surrogacy is

Selling small human beings who can’t say. We don’t want to be sold

Starcup · 30/12/2021 23:02

@PurpleDaisies

How dare anyone decide an infertile couple shouldn’t be allowed intervention.

I think as a society we do have a right to decide what should be allowed when the potential for harm is so great.

But you don’t get to decide because it’s not your choice
PurpleDaisies · 30/12/2021 23:01

How dare anyone decide an infertile couple shouldn’t be allowed intervention.

I think as a society we do have a right to decide what should be allowed when the potential for harm is so great.

Starcup · 30/12/2021 23:01

and some will do it because it makes them happy to do something to help another couple

Starcup · 30/12/2021 22:59

I think there is a lot of hypocrisy on these topics.

Taking the adults out of the equation for a minute, some believe the child would be born in to a situation they wouldn’t chose and it’s morally wrong.

My question to those that feel sorry for the baby -

What about the women who bring children in to the world when the father has specified he doesn’t want to be involved? Is that not immoral? Bringing a child in to the word whereby they won’t have a relationship with their biological father?

What about those that bring children in to severe poverty, over crammed damp housing?

The point being, if it’s all about the best interests of the child, then half of the people on here will have brought a baby in to the world under less than ideal circumstances.

Back to the adults- some people think you shouldn’t use intervention at all, whether that be for IVF or surrogacy.

But how many of those are happy to use medical interventions when it suits them? If everything should only be ‘natural’ then what about those that requested c-sections, epidurals and so on?

How do they view covid? Do they expect medical intervention to help keep their vulnerable loved ones alive for a bit longer? I bet they view that kind of medical intervention as vital though….

How dare anyone decide an infertile couple shouldn’t be allowed intervention.

Lastly, regarding surrogacy, the concept that a woman is always coerced is laughable. You could say that about any scenario. Some will do it for the money and done be sad they feel they want to do something for someone else.

sheroku · 30/12/2021 22:54

We live in a society that is ruled by 'I want it so I'll buy it'

I think this is a big part of it. We're fast becoming a society that knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. Where we create markets for things that should never be for sale.

ViceLikeBlip · 30/12/2021 22:48

There was a documentary on the BBC maybe only last year about seemingly unregulated surrogacy in the UK. Most of the women were inseminating themselves at home with freshly donated sperm, and were therefore handing over their own biological baby at the end of it.

The programme clearly had a very pro-surrogacy agenda, and they really presented this whole thing as kind women doing nice things for other people. It was absolutely chilling.

uhohspaghettiohh · 30/12/2021 22:45

It makes my heart and head hurt. The thought of having one of my babies taken from me makes my blood run cold. Even if I didn't have a biological connection to the baby and knew it was a surrogacy pregnancy - it would be so traumatic.

Both of my children were immediately soothed by my voice, my smell, my breast milk. How you can deny a baby this is beggars belief.

Surrogacy is a commodity. If you can't carry anymore babies, don't have anymore.

We live in a society that is ruled by 'I want it so I'll buy it'.

Children should not be bought.

RepentMotherfucker · 30/12/2021 22:43

Some people have clearly not RTFT.

Starcup · 30/12/2021 22:41

@AutumnAnn

Some people on here seem to believe a woman is incapable of willingly making the decision to carry a baby for another person and seem to think every surrogate is a slave to their body/ made to do it... etc.
This
Helleofabore · 30/12/2021 22:40

I could be remembering incorrectly, but have I also read that sometimes couples seeking fertility services get incentives for donating eggs?!?

I could be misremembering but I thought I had seen this discussed in a US news service.

The thought is that the woman wanting fertility treatment has maximum egg stimulation (massive health risk) but can get incentive on her own treatment.

Happy to be told I am misremembering.

I have had several friends have various assistance in conceiving. The woman’s health in all cases was affected during this treatment in some way. Stimulating egg production is not a benign treatment. Ever. Anyone believing it is, is determined to ignore the reality.

Ylvamoon · 30/12/2021 22:38

Surrogacy is in the majority of cases a result of Desperation and Poverty. Very rearly is it an altruistic act.

Original poster
Blackbird1234 · 30/12/2021 22:37

@GoGoGretaDoll My mention of "scale" was purely in reference to the different opinions on this thread as there seem to be a few. I didnt mean that there was a real life scale, I dont nearly know enough to claim that at all. But I get completely what you're saying and agree the issue is always broader.

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MiladyBerserko · 30/12/2021 22:35

How long do 'birthing canines' have with their puppies?

Given how much is being charged for a puppy now, I would like to see the comparison between time served between birthing bitches and women, and how much time is permitted after the birth. Then we would know the value of the thing.

Original poster
Blackbird1234 · 30/12/2021 22:34

@lochmaree Indeed, I genuinely thought it was a lovely thing for someone to do for someone who can't have kids. If that's what I thought then I certainly hadn't thought about the ins and outs of the sciency side! 😂 This thread has proved really interesting though, my boyfriend was of the same opinion as me and was super shocked to find out everything I've learned on here, so that's 2 people who now know more than they did this morning.
Thanks! Homage to the Beatles 😊

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GoGoGretaDoll · 30/12/2021 22:34

I think I may have inadvertently started some of the 'scale' thinking: for clarity, I personally think all surrogacy is wrong. However, I think that most people coming to the issue for the first time have a very different image in their mind, they think of the 'sister giving a beautiful gift' situation and so it can be helpful to say, well, that's one end of a spectrum, and it's currently a legal end in the UK, but actually the thing that's tuned most of us into having a class analysis of surrogacy is something completely different.

I personally accept the rules in the UK as being OK but imperfect, in much the same way as I think the abortion rules are OK but imperfect, but the issue is always wider, broader and deeper than that.

Original poster
Blackbird1234 · 30/12/2021 22:31

@crunchermuncher I had zero idea, when I hear "fertility treatment" the first thing that comes to mind is treatment for someone who isn't fertile. As I said, I know absolutely zero about this entire topic which is why I asked the question in the first place. Now I know.

@Clymene Nope, no idea at all it's illegal in France, but now I do.

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NameChange74567 · 30/12/2021 22:30

@Blackbird1234

Not sure how this fits in but a main issue seems to be the fact of people "buying" children. Does that mean that you also see fault with adoption? Or no, simply because money isn't necessarily exchanged?
Adoption is trying to make the best of a bad situation, where the mother can't look after the child. Or the child is at risk. Surrogacy is making a baby with the sole intention of removing it from its mother, shortly after birth. The baby has no say in the matter. Babies don't know much when they born, but they know who their mother is.