"What are your pronouns?" Best response for a 14 yo?

Surely asking someone their pronouns is so, so rude. It's akin to saying you look a bit like you could be a bloke? I would be so offended if someone asked me this in real life. Fucking hell, do young people have no manners?

Are you serious? The women on this board fight TIRELESSLY for women's rights, often to the detriment of their professional reputations. So please don't call us "mean".

A male rapist being housed in a female prison, or a male paedophile insisting on being called "she", or a male swimmer beating the female world record - those things are "mean".

If someone identifies as a woman pronouns are she/her generally. If as a man he/him. It doesn't matter what they were born as.

If I am dealing with someone wearing a frock or other female attributes I will call them she/her - even if I can see a five o'clock shadow.

If I am dealing with someone dressed as a man I will address them as he/him even if there are some female attributes.

The fact that the two people above are presenting themselves as female and male speaks for itself imo.

I am female, I have breasts, femininity styled hair, wear make-up and traditionally feminine jewellery. My name is feminine, it has an ia ending and my title is Mrs. I find it hard to imagine my pronouns weren't blindingly obvious. Same for dh in reverse. Also the same for my dc who whilst heterosexual are more on trend with it. Nevertheless dd has long blonde hair, size 3 feet and is a soprano. It's hard to argue she is anything other than female.

(and now I'm totally torn between wanting to add a disclaimer that I completely understand that other people have different thresholds etc etc, whilst at the same time not wanting to come across as a spineless, grovelling people pleaser- oh the irony 🤣🤣🤣)

'Oh, are you STILL doing that?! It's nearly 2022!'

'Say what you see!'

Mean?

'I'd rather be rude than a fucking liar.'

Merry Christmas!

And equally the suggestions that she should say she/her just to fit in or be kind are also wrong

But I wouldn’t be happy if the person decided that they/them were the appropriate ones to use… and then I wouldn’t be able to challenge it because I’ve just said they can decide which ones to use.

@Lamerexo As the poster above said, It starts with “she/her” and ends with fully intact biological men in woman’s prisons

That's what this is about.

"Please don't ask people to out themselves as they may not be ready"

‘Whatever you like, but I’m female so that should give you a clue’

[quote Lamerexo]@ItIsntWhatYouThinkItIs what? Pronouns are always needed in conversation, maybe not directly between two individuals but between more than that it definitely is - he did, they did, she did, etc. I don't understand how it is so rude to use pronouns? It seems to me that you don't really understand what they are.

A pronoun - 'a word that can function as a noun phrase used by itself and that refers either to the participants in the discourse ' - in most cases it is used to refer to people in conversation and to stop the repetition of constantly repeating someone's name.[/quote]
@Lamerexo I understand exactly what pronouns are, that is the reason for my posts. There is almost never a need for pronouns.

You don't say "Hello she". Hence no pronoun is needed face to face.

Also, when referring to a third person, you can say Mary did, Mary said, etc.

No need at all for pronouns. It's an ideology. And it's one that needs to be stamped out.

Lol at the idea women should not be mean, isn’t that the flip side of beeeee kiiiiind
If being mean keeps children off unnecessary puberty blockers, biological men out of womens sport, refuges, prisons, rape survivors groups, groups for women who’ve had a still birth, of programmes designed to improve female representation then I’m happy to be mean

It starts with “she/her” and ends with fully intact biological men in woman’s prisons

My response is “Oh, just call me Samantha” (substitute Samantha for DD’s preferred name).

If pronouns can cause such offence if we get them wrong, it’s best we (very easily) avoid using them at all.

@ItIsntWhatYouThinkItIs what? Pronouns are always needed in conversation, maybe not directly between two individuals but between more than that it definitely is - he did, they did, she did, etc. I don't understand how it is so rude to use pronouns? It seems to me that you don't really understand what they are.

A pronoun - 'a word that can function as a noun phrase used by itself and that refers either to the participants in the discourse ' - in most cases it is used to refer to people in conversation and to stop the repetition of constantly repeating someone's name.

Wow you lot are mean!

Merry Christmas

Am I ok to say that without offending anyone?

See what I mean?

Pronouns are not needed in communication. It's actually very rude to use pronouns and to ask for pronouns. The process needs to be stopped. That's why we're hitting back.

Noooo @Tavelo I clicked not

It’s a great response!!

Is this the whole 'disagreement is hatred' thing? Is that what it is? Can you not understand that some people don't share your views, Vice? Do you see it as hostility if someone says clearly and politely that they disagree? Genuine question.

As we're told pronouns no longer relate to sex, then I genuinely couldn't give a crap which pronouns you use for me. Even "it". Go for it!

I don't believe in gender ID. I find gender to be a set of deeply harmful stereotypes that I do not identify with. I'm a gender atheist. Why should I pretend that I'm not? Would my Muslim neighbours want me to pretend to be Muslim? I think they'd be very perplexed if I did!

Yep, Vice. Its really very puzzling why some people think it's rude to not share the same beliefs/views as someone else, and rude to politely decline to pretend to share them.

And then you could agree or disagree but this kind of 'haven't listened and won't engage' plopping is both rude and confrontational.