You haven’t really answered my questions, have you, Helen?
How’s about this one:
Do you think those people who are exclusively same sex attracted should be supported by LGBT orgs such as Stonewall?
I would like your answer to that instead of the way you avoided that part of the question in your reply.
And when I say “those relationships” I mean relationships between two people who are both clear they are only attracted to the same sex. Of course the relationships in itself doesn’t really differ from that which you have with your partner, but the point as, is you well know, that exclusively same sex attracted people are being ostracised and excluded by “LGBT” orgs for being clear that they will never consider partners of the opposite sex, however they identify.
That exclusion and ostracism doesn’t affect you because you are bisexual and your partner presumably signs up to “same gender” attraction in theory (and luckily is unlikely to have to actually put it to the test as your relationship is so committed), so you two can cheerlead for the theory at no personal cost whatsoever.
So that’s how your relationship is different from that between two women who are challenging the pressure to consider biologically male people as potential partners. You’re included in the great big rainbow family; they’re excluded. Nice.
I see this as on a spectrum with specifying any other criteria about a potential partner - eg no one over 40, under 5 foot tall, East Asian, deaf, fat etc.
That’s deeply homophobic. These are sexual preferences, not sexual orientations, as has been spelt out to you on here many, many times before. Nobody has ever been discriminated against or persecuted because they weren’t attracted to people from races different to their own, and so on.
It’s quite ludicrous that you try to muddy the waters like this, and it’s reminded me that you don’t actually acknowledge exclusive same-sex attraction as a genuine sexual orientation at all - if I remember rightly, you seem to think that everybody is bisexual to some degree, deep down, and just in denial about it. Which, again, is homophobia.
Apart from which, people are fully entitled to their sexual preferences and to state them clearly on a dating site, FFS, otherwise it’s just wasting everybody’s time. Why would anyone want to pressure someone who is never going to be attracted to them into considering them as a partner? What is that if not coercion? And when it comes to actual sexual orientation, the same argument applies tenfold. It shouldn’t even be a discussion. It should be accepted, full stop.
Why is it, Helen, you seem to struggle so much with the concept of women saying no to all biologically male people as potential sexual/romantic partners? I really can’t get my head around it. Does women saying no to men/male people make you uncomfortable in general? It’s a really, really unusual attitude to find in a woman, particularly a woman who thinks of herself as a feminist.
I mean, you might expect it in some deeply devout women who follow a very patriarchal religion, or some very reactionary women who believe in male authority over females, but from someone like you it just seems really odd.
But if I saw a gay man carrying a placard declaring how repulsed they are by vaginas that would strike me as unhelpful, unpleasant and a touch misogynistic.
What an odd response, again. Where have you seen anyone doing that or suggesting that? Nobody is advocating for that, to the very best of my knowledge. And again, your invented scenario has been a means for you to sidestep the question you don’t want to answer.
I ask you again - Do you think people who are exclusively same-sex attracted should be able to be out and proud about their sexual orientation, or should they have to keep it quiet in case it hurts trans people’s feelings?
And let’s be sensible about this and not make up rubbish. We’re not talking about imaginary gay men wandering around with placards saying “fannies smell, yuck gross!”, FFS. We’re simply talking about the right of people who are exclusively same sex attracted to own their own sexuality, to have it acknowledged by LGBT orgs and by society in general without being ostracised or shamed for it, without having to whisper it in secret and make up their own special code for finding other people who feel the same way, like they did in the bad old days.
Just being able to state their orientation freely and have it respected, whether that be on a dating app, at work when someone is trying to set them up with someone of the wrong sex, or whatever scenario there may be where someone’s sexual orientation is relevant.
I think I already know all your answers to my questions though, precisely from the way you haven’t answered them, and I can only conclude that you, notwithstanding that you say you’re a bisexual woman in a long term relationship with a woman, must be a homophobe when it comes to actual homosexuals.
Not so good to see you again after all.