Books for gender non conforming 6 yo

For slightly older children, my 10yr old & her friends are all into the Wings of Fire books at the moment. All the characters are dragons & the only difference in the sexes is that they are ruled by queens. There is some death & destruction, so wouldn’t recommend for a younger child, but they are really well written books. Each one follows a different character so you see the depth of their personalities & they are very exciting!

Agree with @crunchermuncher about George in Famous 5. She was my hero but it's actually rubbish how she's so insulted to be a girl and meanwhile Anne is so delighted to do all the washing up. Keeping a straight face with all those Dicks and Fannies is a challenge too.

C S Lewis 'the horse and his boy' is ok, I'd have thought? Aravis is a really strong girl character, much more so than the wimpy boy Shasta

So pleased others love Polly and Ramona too :) Ramona's a new discovery with my dd, but I read all the others to my (now teen) boys.

Philippa Gregory’s Princess Florizella series is great for this age. Fun fairytale type stories but with lots of reversing gender stereotypes and play with social expectations of girls and boys. My DC really enjoyed them

@WeDidntMeanToGoToSea another yes to clever Polly! One of my top childhood favourites and one of my sons favourites too (he’s now 11 and he’s only just stopped having it on as general bedtime audiobook).
And also yes to Ramona - def another big hit with my two boys (doing my bit with making sure the boys get female protagonists as well as male, plus obv they are excellent books).

WeDidntMeanToGoToSea I loved Clever Polly and the Stupid Wolf as a child!

I heartily second this recommendation!

Sorry to not answer the OP but for future reference I think Philip Reeve is a superb author for children and I highly recommend the Fever Crumb series and the standalone Here Lies Arthur.

And also by Astrid Lindgren, Ronja the Robber's Daughter.

Did anyone mention His Dark Materials?

The Sophie series by Dick King-Smith. She's a fantastic character.
Famous Five and there's a range of other Enid Blytons (she may be a bit young)
How to train a dragon series

Have a look at My Naughty Little Sister. Two sisters, different behaviours. It is an oldie but that can be helpful too because of how you can observe and chat about how different expectations are now (in theory at least!)

btw lots of girls like Minecraft. Have a look and see if there are coding initiatives specifically for girls so that she can see that girls code etc.

Yes to Swallows and Amazons, especially the ones that focus on Nancy and Peggy as well as the Walker family (the latter fall back into a degree of stereotype in some of the later books, although all the female characters remain strong and clear (and Bridget is a delightful addition in the later ones).

I'm one of the Susan fans. She's the capable, practical one - but is also completely part of the adventures, a very competent sailor etc. The whole setup of kids camping and sailing alone simply doesn't work without Susan.

Yes to Swallows and Amazons, especially the ones that focus on Nancy and Peggy as well as the Walker family (the latter fall back into a degree of stereotype in some of the later books, although all the female characters remain strong and clear (and Bridget is a delightful addition in the later ones).

I've really enjoyed reading Mrs Pepperpot and Clever Polly and the Stupid Wolf to my lot - as a PP says, a girl/woman doesn't have to be doing non-feminine-connotated things to be clever, resourceful and come out on top.

I'm reading the Ramona series (Beverly Cleary) with my 6yo dd atm. It's lovely writing, really empathetic and non-patronising, and Ramona is a girl who gets a real chance to become herself in what, for the time it is set, is a pretty equal family.

My 6 year old has recently enjoyed (listening to me read) Judy Moody, Clarice Bean, Ruby Redfort and Anisha: Accidental Detective. All are series with great, strong female leads.

Also as pps have said, the Daisy and the Trouble... books are good for that age group, and Pippi Longstocking.

Also, I would say take a chilled approach to the books. Sometimes I just leave books I think they might like somewhere prominent in the bedroom and see if they choose to pick it up. Allow their own discovery. Sometimes they get into one after it’s been on the shelf for a while.

In response to comments about “maybe I am a boy” perhaps a brief “loads of girls/women are (Minecrafters / footballers / coders / bmxers / scientists / sailors / pilots / architects / whatever) and they are definitely still girls/women.” Then search to show her or talk about examples. And positive reinforcement of “you are brilliant, I think you are fantastic, it’s so cool how you [something that she likes doing].” Build her confidence and encourage trying things. All just good stuff to know she is great and it’s fine to not be into all the things that your friends are into. You can still be friends with different interests.

Finally, and not saying you would, but, please don’t get into putting down other girls who are into unicorns / dolls / dancing / bows / make up etc. In the end it will probably help your daughter in life to have a wide range of friends which will include girls who -are- into more typically feminine things.

There are some good books about womens roles in the war - Spitfire Women, The Female Few, I've read another but I can't remember it.

This makes me spit to be honest. I have worked my entire life in a male majority role/industry and it doesn't make me an iota less female. And only a bit less feminine.

Not a book but there is plenty of 'girlie' Minecraft merchandise available, water bottles, t-shirts pyjamas, would this help her realise mine craft is for everyone.

I'd steer away from older books for now - even the ones that have strong female characters (George in famous five, the Amazons) tend to present them as unusual in this way. The Zoey and Sassafras books are good. Diana Wynne Jones is wonderful though probably for older readers.

I am very girly and work in IT as a test analyst. Being masculine/feminine/other doesn't mean anything

Non fiction ones but nice and probably ok for her age:

“Ready to read” series:

• You should meet Women who launched the computer age
• You should meet Katharine Johnson
• You should meet Mae Jemison

Margaret and the Moon - by Dean Robbins

Grace Hopper Queen of Computer Code - by Laurie Wallmark

Ocean Speaks (How Marie Tharp revealed the Ocean’s Biggest Secret) - by Jess Keating

Another few that have popped into my head - could be a bit advanced for a 6 yo though, but weirdly enough a lot of Shakespeare's plays do a good job of empowering women.

The two I know of are Macbeth's Lady Macbeth showing control, power and cunning; and King Lear's Goneril and Regan showing similar qualities.

The Polar Bear Explorer's Club series.

The premise is that there are a few different explorer clubs but only men and boys can be explorers. The girl in this series is basically like, "well, screw all of you, I'm going to be an explorer" and she is awesome at it. It is just her with a group of boys on an expedition and she is the hero, sort of. Both my boys love the books, I dont have any daughters but I'm sure they would!
Fun little side note, her dad is gay. He adopted her (found her in the snow, cant go into detail as it ruins a plot point) but he is gay. It isnt made into a big deal. It is one sentence about him losing the person he loved. But it's lovely!

If anyone is lurking, thinking about books for 10-12 year olds, I recommend these two series by Lari Don.

www.laridon.co.uk/my-books/novels/

Not because the female protagonists are notably gender conforming or not gender conforming, but because they're basically people. They're healthily not stereotyped either way.