Boy in girls changing rooms

Do you know any of the mothers of your dd’s friends? If so, what do they think. Could you ask them individually so they won’t self-censor their answer to fit in? If any agreed with you you could contact the school together.

That's why I suggest you do it on the quiet Outdoorbeanbags without her knowing? Too many schools are failing to protect girls because they're in hock to the toxic lobby groups.

I despair at the systematic bullying of girls that's going on to make them toe the line and remove their boundaries. Safe Schools Alliance are a great source of support for parents and I suspect can advise about how to contact a school discretely.

How have we got to a state where girls have to accept being forced to undress in front of random boys in schools.

Girls should not be put in this position.
And then told they are wrong to feel uncomfortable?
It's ridiculous.

You are so right, I know. I’m really worried that they may single her out as being the only one with a problem and be forced to change on her own (I have heard of this happening) so all of her friends will turn on her. She would not forgive me for that, secondary school has not been an easy transition and she is desperate to fit in.

Outdoorbeanbags
Not criticising at all but I'd be concerned that your daughter is being unwillingly coerced into some very passive ideas about her right to boundaries and privacy.
As a parent I'd be challenging the school about why girls are getting the message that they have no rights to privacy? (Even if I didn't tell her that I was doing it). It's not the law, it's a demand made by groups run by primarily male born adults. In the light of the disgraceful statistics about sexual harassment of girls in and out of schools, the idea that wedging adolescent boys into changing rooms, showers and toilets with girls is a good thing, is completely tone deaf.

Young girls are being serially gaslit in schools and it's now up to their parents to insist that their rights are not trampled over in favour of sad boys.

I wouldn’t want to be “that parent” or make life difficult for her by saying anything, but she feels very uneasy. It’s very hard.

Wtf? Be that parent. Who else is going to keep your child safe? When she announces aged 14 that the 50 year old lorry driver she's been sexting loves her will you be that parent or worry about making her feel uneasy. FFS YOURE THE PARENT - KEEP HER SAFE. Governors, DfE, local MP - the works. Your school allows your daughter to strip off in front of boys.

You see ‘Be kind” everywhere as a mantra.
It is so wrong for girls who have always been expected to be kind at great cost to themselves sometimes, they don’t need any more pressure.

I am not sure how that boy is non-binary yet so definitely a girl they need to change with the girls.

Perhaps a philosopher on here would be able to say if that is in any way logical?

To me it seems ridiculous, confused, and selfish teenage thinking.

Interesting… I had been thinking about starting a thread about exactly the same issue.

My DD (12) has a male classmate who identifies as non-binary but has identified as female and still changes for PE with the girls.

My daughter spends a lot of time worrying that she might accidentally say something that offends the person, pronouns etc.

She feels slightly uneasy about the changing situation but when she asked a friend if they were ok with it, she was quickly slapped down - if the person feels like a girl then she is a girl, don’t be horrible etc. she worries that the other child may be jealous of her female body and feels guilty for changing near them as if she’s flaunting that she is a girl when it’s what the other child really wants.

This child has also announced in sex education lessons that puberty is much harder for non binary people (which I’m sure in many ways it is, but this person will never have to deal with period pain, flooding or risk of pregnancy) so it makes asking about and sharing female experience awkward.

I have tried to chat to her about focussing on the universal ‘person’ things that they have in common and not let the trans stuff get in the way of relating as friends, that being in with the girls is more likely to be validating rather than triggering for them otherwise I presume they would prefer to change separately. But that she is also entitled to her own comfort and boundaries, it is not only about this person’s needs. I wouldn’t want to be “that parent” or make life difficult for her by saying anything, but she feels very uneasy. It’s very hard.

Well done OP. Let us know what school say.

Under no circumstance let them get away with this.

I hope they listen to you. Well done for trying.

Search "Boy in a skirt in girl's toilets". Good luck op.

Yes, there was another thread a few short weeks ago about a boy accessing girls' toilets. The poster was successful in getting the school to reverse their policy.

Sorry on app, don't know how to link.

Well done for standing up for your daughter

Hope it goes well

Here you are OP. Safe Schools Alliance has this covered:

safeschoolsallianceuk.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/singlesextoiletsfactsheet.pdf