To start, please can I ask you to be gentle. I'm not in a good place; this is not due in whole to this situation, but life has been hard and I've been struggling to carry on.
DD (now 16) told me she was a lesbian at 14. Obviously this was not remotely an issue, she was told it was completely normal and she could love whoever she wanted. About 6 months later she sent me a text message (which I could tell straight away was copied and pasted in part from the Internet) declaring she was non binary and wanted us to call her by another name and use she/they. Again, fine. We didn't make it a big deal, said its fine to be whoever you want to be and we would try and remember the name they wanted. I must admit DH does slip up with this but tries not to. In all honesty I think she wanted more of a "shocked" reaction and a scene. She is part of a computer gaming group online (since 14) who I have since learned are mostly non binary/trans and have a massive influence on her. She also goes to college and I would say 80% of the class are non binary or trans -I am not over exaggerating. I have this morning found a note to me and DH in her room saying she thinks she is a trans man. I just don't know where to go with this from here. In all honesty I genuinely don't think she is trans at all. Before I get jumped on this is NOT because I don't want a trans child at all. This is because I believe she is confused, easily led and unsure about her body and is desperate to fit in with a group and be accepted. She struggled at school to find a group of friends and was lonely a lot and she does tend to mould herself around people's identity/hobbies to fit in with them. Where do I go from here? I want to be supportive but I don't believe this is what she really feels. Please help, I'm so lost and terrified if I question anything with her I will lose her and she will hate me.
I suffer with depression and OCD and diagnosed severe anxiety, I run a business and have a son with SEN. Life is a uphill struggle at the moment even with a wonderful husband and kids and I don't know how much longer I can cope. It seems easier not to be here.