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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Zara - male bodies in female changing room

483 replies

BoreOfWhabylon · 05/12/2021 04:35

An unimpressed Editor-at-large of the MoS was also there Grin

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10275757/CHARLOTTE-GRIFFITHS-facing-dilemma.html

OP posts:
NotTerfNorCis · 05/12/2021 22:59

I've seen TRAs today claiming that this kind of changing room doesn't exist.

Of course it does.

Cubicles, and a central area with tall mirrors where people can look at themselves with more space around them. That's pretty standard.

Nichebitch · 05/12/2021 22:58

I have. Maybe stop commenting on the bloody daily mail.

Masdintle · 05/12/2021 20:46

From that photo I can’t tell if second from left is xx or XY.

The person second from left is Sadiq Kahn. He's the Mayor of London. A man.

ChattyLion · 05/12/2021 20:39

Gumbo I am so sorry that that happened to you. Flowers

SusannaQueen · 05/12/2021 19:42

I can't say I believe that masculine women are frequently challenged in female spaces. I've read of it happening to one person. I'm a nearly 6' woman with a penchant for masculine clothes, no woman has ever raised so much of an eyebrow at me, the only nasty comments have come from men.

Deliriumoftheendless · 05/12/2021 18:34

I don’t understand how all these butch lesbians are finding lesbian girlfriends if they’re always being confused with men.

Or do lesbians have some magic power everyone else (allegedly) doesn’t have and can tell the sex of someone? 🤔

Helleofabore · 05/12/2021 18:34

Nichebitch

Maybe read the article the thread relates to.

Nichebitch · 05/12/2021 18:07

What an absurd thread. People try clothes in cubicles, no one should be able to see anyone’s bras.

RoyalCorgi · 05/12/2021 18:06

The fact you’re accusing me of unoriginality is amusing. This entire thread-nay, topic- is a case study in logical fallacies committed by people who aren’t that bright but still trying to defend indefensible positions.

It's rare to see such self-awareness from a trans activist. Well done, you!

Just in case you haven't understood the point, though, I'm going to explain it in really simple language for the slow of understanding:

Women's changing rooms exist so that women can get changed in private, away from men.

Men are not allowed in women's changing rooms.

This is still the case, even if a man really, really wants to be in the women's changing room.

Understand? Or do I need to break it down even further?

Datun · 05/12/2021 17:58

@AlfonsoTheUnrepentant

[Poster's daughter's girlfriend] is regularly told to leave the women’s toilets and has been threatened by women that they will go get their male partners to drag her out of the toilet by force if she doesn’t leave. I also have a friend who is a tall woman with a large nose (and four naturally birthed children that came from her own vagina) who has been asked to leave female spaces by people who refuse to believe she is female.

That post is a load of nonsense.

Course it is.

Apart from anything else, women don't tend to threaten someone they think is male!! That is the whole point of not wanting men in our spaces, - that we can't get them out.

Tedious nonsense Cordyceps that we've all heard a million times before, but funnily enough, only once men started to demand access to women's privacy.

You do know, don't you, that there are at least 6,500 genetic differences between men and women? Tall women with big noses don't look like men 😁.

I mean really, it's so daft. How does it even work in your head? Visual ambiguity means we need mixed spaces???

It doesn't. It's a barrel scraping exercise that we've seen a million times before and reject unequivocally.

No thanks.

TreXX · 05/12/2021 17:44

Yes, I remember being so excited on my first clothes shopping trip with my friends. We were buying clothes for a Xmas party.

Having males around would have destroyed that experience.

AlfonsoTheUnrepentant · 05/12/2021 17:36

@2Rebecca

Clothes shops are hastening their own demise doing this. The main advantage of shopping in actual shops is to try stuff on and not have the faff of posting stuff back if it doesn't fit/ doesn't suit you. If changing rooms are full of male bodied people and women and girls don't feel comfortable in them so don't try stuff on then they may as well order online. I have bought male clothes before and I take them to the female changing room. We are always being told we exaggerate the threat of males in changing rooms. In that case why doesn't everyone male use the male room if men are safe and non scary? Especially men who look like men. There is no logic to it. It's all about making women feel uncomfortable
That's a good point. And another poster made the point about teenaged girls in groups spending pocket money buying clothes. Some of those girls won't be able to, now, which is very sad.
Helleofabore · 05/12/2021 17:26

I am also surprised by the comments of someone who seems to have not even read the article.

It says very clearly that the woman even checked with staff after coming out and seeing the men the first time. And was assured it was women only. Then after a while went back in to try on a new top to find the ‘confirmed by staff’ female changing room to have no cubicles so stripped of to try on the top.

And it was very clear that the cubicles had curtains and not doors and certainly not lockable. And certainly not ‘monitored’ by staff!!

2Rebecca · 05/12/2021 17:25

Clothes shops are hastening their own demise doing this. The main advantage of shopping in actual shops is to try stuff on and not have the faff of posting stuff back if it doesn't fit/ doesn't suit you. If changing rooms are full of male bodied people and women and girls don't feel comfortable in them so don't try stuff on then they may as well order online.
I have bought male clothes before and I take them to the female changing room. We are always being told we exaggerate the threat of males in changing rooms. In that case why doesn't everyone male use the male room if men are safe and non scary? Especially men who look like men. There is no logic to it. It's all about making women feel uncomfortable

Helleofabore · 05/12/2021 17:20

Just imagine how it would be if only males had respected female’s boundaries from the start.

And then no ‘butch’ woman would be asked to clarify if they were in the right area.

The fact that people use this ‘what about’ is an ill thought out ‘gotcha’.

And the amazing reaction of one supposedly butch looking woman recently is also a great lesson for those using this as a what about. She turned and thanked the person who asked her! Thanked them for their care in making sure the ladies toilets were safe for others.

Of course, the voice and the extra time looking at this remarkable women also assured her questioner that she was in fact female.

And as we constantly say, what type of male continues to use single sex spaces knowing that they make females uncomfortable by being there.

(Thank you LB, by the way. What a classy, classy move!!)

KittenKong · 05/12/2021 17:19

I’ve never heard of a woman told to leave women’s loos or threatened. Of course that doesn’t mean it never happens - but frequently to the same woman?

Thing is, very very very few woman would be genuinely mistaken for a male. There’s just something - the way they stand, move, the voice the mannerisms, face structure, lack of Adam’s apple... These would give them away as a woman even if a second look was needed.

I was called ‘son’ a few times when I was a teenager. I lived - thought it was very funny (hey this was in the 80s). I’m also tall (for a Scot) and that was never an issue either.

teawamutu · 05/12/2021 17:16

26,000 likes on the top comment - never seen numbers like that before. Hope Zara's press team are watching...

AlfonsoTheUnrepentant · 05/12/2021 17:02

[Poster's daughter's girlfriend] is regularly told to leave the women’s toilets and has been threatened by women that they will go get their male partners to drag her out of the toilet by force if she doesn’t leave. I also have a friend who is a tall woman with a large nose (and four naturally birthed children that came from her own vagina) who has been asked to leave female spaces by people who refuse to believe she is female.

That post is a load of nonsense.

Clymene · 05/12/2021 16:42

I can't believe it's taken you 5 hours to remember your poor daughter's butch girlfriend @Cordyceps

I would have thought you'd have considered the appalling behaviour she's been subjected to by other women hours and hours ago. I mean it's pretty out there.

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 05/12/2021 16:34

Cordyceps
I’ve obviously stumbled into the wrong internet box

This thread is in the area of the board that you have stated (within the past week I think, but I cba to go and check; you really are not that important) you have "muted", whatever the fuck that means. Maybe you need to check your settings so that you will in future neither have it inflicted on you nor inflict yourself on it.

For the record, I habitually dress in jeans and a jacket and have several times had it pointed out to me (by men) that I am going into the wrong lavatory as I head for the ladies in a pub; I have found that turning and grinning, and saying, "It's all right, I'm female," works wonders. Strangely enough, it neither offends nor traumatises me if men make mistakes about what sex I am, nor if women do -- but the latter has never happened. Maybe women are just better at telling automatically what sex someone is by other means than clothing stereotypes; it's a more important survival characteristic for them than for men.

DoubleTweenQueen · 05/12/2021 16:32

[quote Cordyceps]@DoubleTweenQueen I’m not your dancing monkey, you patronising twit. I asked you to clarify your stupid question but you weren’t able to do that so I moved on.[/quote]
Do you think it was appropriate for the woman in the story to be without a private cubicle, in the women’s changing room, because two men were each taking up a private cubicle each, so necessitating her to change in the communal women’s area, then be slightly put out that said two blokes caught her out in her underwear? Do you think that’s acceptable or not?

A single word would do.

But I imagine you would say it wasn’t a female changing room, the communal area wasn’t, so it never happened, and the whole thing was made up.

In your own time, or not at all. As you wish.

TreXX · 05/12/2021 16:30

@endlesswinter

I actually agree with *@Cordyceps* I have had butch friends questioned in single sex spaces. But this doesn't mean single sex spaces aren't needed. I also think that the questioning is more likely to increase if males are allowed into female spaces because females will have raised anxiety.
Seconded
Cordyceps · 05/12/2021 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

DoubleTweenQueen · 05/12/2021 16:21

I see Cordy's still making a fuss and deflecting, but not yet found the time to answer my direct question :D
Funny that.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 05/12/2021 16:15

Anyway, speaking as a tall woman with a large nose, I don't think the answer to me occasionally getting misgendered is to let men into the women's changing rooms.