Mary Harrington's Thread: how old at your first sexual approach by a man?

And even before the age of 11 just playing in the park was an open invitation to every passing Tom, Dick or Harry to get his knob out. I must have seen a dozen before I was in double figures.

About 11. My friend and I were sexually assaulted by a stranger. We knew absolutely nothing at all about sex, had never even heard the word.
We'd been brought up to be good little girls and do as adults told us, but at some point we understood on a very basic level that what he was doing wasn't right, and managed to get away.
I didn't tell anyone until I was an adult.

I was about 12. I went on a family holiday and was leered at qnd approached by several men daily, I was also groped. My Dad wouldn't talk to me for the rest if the holiday because it was my fault, apparently.

I was also kissed, like a full on kiss, by a man who was late 30s when I was 14.

14, by a married dad with kids.
16, ditto, different slightly younger married dad, kid very young.

Aged 8 on a bus. He sat beside me and showed me page 3 of The Sun.

Then he made me rub his erection.

This thread shows why safeguarding is far more important than hurt feelings of adults.

I was 8. I walked into a corner shop and one of the workers tried to fondle my bum after leading me to the back where what I needed to buy was. I moved away and he tried to corner me but luckily the shop owner saw everything (he had those extended view mirrors) and dealt with it sharpish. I was 9 when my friend’s dad got drunk and tried to lift up my skirt at a party. Both men’s excuse was that I didn’t look my age which was ridiculous. If anything I looked younger than my age. They were just pedophiles.

Primary 7 - so I was maybe just 11. Absolute bastardy filthy dirty old man. He must be dead by now.

I developed early - boy grabbed my breasts at primary school aged 11. Catcalls and leery looks - followed by lorry driver aged 12/13 who tried to find out where I lived (I had to duck down an alleyway). I was very shy and awkward and would walk miles out of the way to avoid builders etc. - this was 80s/90s and it was ‘normal’ for builders to shout out at girls who walked past. I hated being a teenager.

One of the things that sticks in my head is the man who was abusing me telling my mother that she should put me in skirts more often, because he liked to see girls in skirts. I think it was about ease of access.

8 years old, in 2008. Molested by a relative (on several occasions). I suspect many people think that this sort of thing wouldn’t happen very often these days because children are watched over more by their parents/ can’t roam free like in the bad old days. I generally had a very happy childhood and protective, sensible parents but this man was a opportunist who clearly knew I wouldn’t talk.

9 or 10, creepy neighbour who was friendly with my dad and an athletics coach took my sister and i out for a training run with his sons and then tried to insist we needed ti strip down in his car to dry the sweat of with towels, he also tried to get me to "scratch his stomach for him" ie. Put my hand down his trousers. Luckily my instinct that this was wrong was strong and i refused to do anything. He had been going on for years about how pretty my sister was and how she should be entered for Miss Pears (remember that!). I feel we failed the test and he didn't try again thankfully but he also emigrated so maybe he just member got the chance.
It is an extremely vivid memory, probably one of the most detailed memories of my childhood sadly.

I was 9 and he was 30. My daughter has had a man wolf whistle at her and say "some man will be lucky when she's older". She's 4.

I was about 10 or 11 - groped and flashed

Such a sad thread.

Before I read this I thought I'd been 'lucky' to avoid much harassment as a child/teenager, but reading other peoples' experiences has brought back a host of horrible memories. I wasn't 'luckier' than anyone else here; I just think I framed my memories as somehow 'my fault' or 'trivial' so didn't tell anyone and then tried to forget, but in reality I was sexually harassed/objectified/groped/kissed by men from around 9/10: strangers, headmaster uncle, respected older member of my church, my best friend's dad, older boys, peers.

Grew up in the 70's and attitudes towards females who said they had been sexually abused were often terrible: dismissive, victim blaming, ignorant. Looking back my unspoken experiences left me with a deep distrust of most men - I secretly believe most men will either be abusive or silent about those who are abusers - either way, most men aren't 'safe' or trustworthy. A very sad but necessary state of affairs.

My DDs (young adults) are far more outspoken than I ever was about their various horrible experiences which gives me hope for their futures, though I'm angry and very, very upset that they are still having to fight for their rights to keep themselves safe from multifarious approaches and attacks from men.

How can all this - the endemic sexism in our society, the male privilege - be changed? I believe that women need to learn about what is sexual harassment and abuse and understand that they are the victims here, and be confident to speak out and be believed about their experiences, but until men become part of the solution, and actively combat these problems among their male peers and in themselves, how can anything change?

Those were the earliest incidents. Many more in my teens and 20s, continuing into my 40s. So glad I’m now invisible to men.

I was physically molested by strange men on at least two occasions before I was 12. Many other non-contact incidents, eg flashers.

I was 8 years old. This thread is horrific but it needs to be said.

Comments, about 12.

My own dedicated flasher, about 14.

Ain't life grand.

15, but I was a very slight late developer. What is telling though is the man said to me "if we went out everyone would think I'm a wrongun" then proceeded to grope me anyway.

1. On holiday in Tunisia we went on a coach trip and while the adults walked I was put on a horse and walked through a crowd of men from the coach to the restaurant. I remember all the hands all over my legs. The next year we went somewhere else and went on a horse and cart trip and I was put in the front with the driver who spent the entire trip rubbing my legs. My mother said, both times, that they were just not used to blond girls in shorts.

And then our priest would come for dinner regularly on a Saturday and sit next to me on the sofa and rub his hand all over my back and legs, I wore a bra at 11 and he would ping the strap. My mother always told me to sit next to him because he loved children and couldn't have them.

And it's not that my mother didn't know about CSA, she'd been a victim herself.

I used to think I was lucky it was just that because my friend was given a lift home by a school governor in year 6 who took her to the far end of the car park and attempted to rape her. He then went on the year 6 end of year trip and abused another girl on the trip.

That was just primary school. Obviously there's also the uncle sticking his tongue down my throat at age 14, the kerb crawling at 13, the beeping of car horns at 12 - you know, your standard kind of stuff.

Being given a lift home by a teacher in sixth form and giving him the wrong address. At least he was disbarred from teaching eventually for inappropriate relationships with sixth formers.