Omnisexual 11 year old

I can't keep up with all the names.
It seems like yet another pressure - feeling the need to define yourself at such a young age.
I wish we could all just be who we are without the need to shoehorn ourselves into a label or definition at any age.

And in fact you say that your have been taking about sexuality with DD since tiny.

Doesn't that kind of destroy your own point?
That they shouldn't know or be exposed to anything about sexuality?

'That's bollocks, and not what we're discussing. Ever since DD was tiny the message from me is "when you're grown up and you go out with a girl or boy or no one". Every time.'

YOU. you don't know that boys using gay as an insult is still commonplace?
You don't know how massively children enforce gender norms in primary school?
You don't know that irrespective of what you do or say, loads of parents don't?
You don't know that in general actually knowing children with same sex parents is not terribly common?
That gay men and lesbians often don't even hold hands in public because of the looks, stares. Comments, worse?
You haven't noticed that 99.9% of media with couples they are man/ woman?
Fairytales/ Disney?
I mean on and on.

You can't not know that.

And for years gay men and lesbians. And in the background bi people.
Have been saying for DECADES that they knew... Something. Gay.. different... Didnt get the fuss about this or that pop star/ actor?

On this thread. And I'm sure it's not intentional. The fact is that loads of posters are saying can't know/ shouldn't have any idea/ not right. About 11yo having any thoughts at all about sexuality.

That is not on. It's just not. It's throwing away what lgb people have been saying for DECADES.
Because of worries about something else.

Nope. Baby bathwater.

My eldest DD is Bi and my youngest DD’s 15 now. This IDENTIFICATION (deliberate capitals) has become such a big thing in her group at school that it’s become a way to compete and bully. She is straight, but is constantly told that she gives out “bi or gay vibes” and when she asserts that she knows who she is, she is accused of either being in denial, or not being an ally. Nothing is worse than accusing today’s teen of not being “woke”, and also to “reverse discriminate.” I was talking with my psychiatrist friend and she sent me this article and I think that while you should absolutely support and defend your kids, etc… watch out for signs of this as it’s everywhere. It’s really complicated and such a fucking unhealthy power play! www.google.com.au/amp/s/amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/618289/

Again just sorry just not feeling the difference at all.

I'm in no way saying the source, aims, all of it is a disaster for loads of people. I know that. I've known it for years and been posting on here saying... Well everything.

On this though.

Young children in the main it's just the same. Tribal, innocent. Yes loads of extremely concerning stuff from adults being pushed.

But for the majority of children, this thread feels like a massive over reaction.

I posted about DD. There was this stuff end primary school. And secondary school. All her friendship group have various pronouns, name changes. Various gender identities and sexualities.

It doesn't mean anything for the vast majority.

I think when it comes to your own children. Your own children's friends. Which is what this thread is about. Jumping to its disturbing and at 10/11 they know this in a grown up way, rather than the way the vast majority of children that age have always been.

It's just way OTT.

Saying it's too young to think about sexuality is homophobic.. Sorry that's the bottom line.

That's bollocks, and not what we're discussing. Ever since DD was tiny the message from me is "when you're grown up and you go out with a girl or boy or no one". Every time.

But it's the absolute obsession with it so young. As I said, DD's friend never buys anything but it has a rainbow flag. She's 11. I liked Indiana Jones at that age but if every single thing I bought had his face on it, my mum would have been (rightly) concerned.

And sadly girls have been pushed with variations on 'be kind' forever by boys.

And loads of girls pick something like 'graysexual'.

Meaning they only want sex with someone they trust, know, care about, and who feels the same way.

So...

Read the lyrics above.

What do you make of the message?

The linking of "sexual acceptance" and being kind to young children Perplexedmother is such a worry. As has been repeatedly said on here, sexual relationships are exclusive. People are under no obligation to have relationships with anyone they're not interested in (no matter what Stonewall says) .
Children don't have the understanding of these issues - they're psychologically and intellectually unable to navigate their way through complex relationships when they're children. It's why children are so often abused as they don't have the resources / skills to protect themselves.

Sorry to go on.

'The take away will be that it's normal to have sex when you don't want to or that you have to be open to everyone as a partner or you are exclusionary.'

I'm your man massive hit. Excerpt.

Wholesome? Innocent? Totp massive hit. On radio. We all know the lyrics and sang along. I was 11.
Songs from 60s 70s loads WAY dodgier...

'So good, you're divine
Wanna take you, wanna make you
But they tell me it's a crime
Oh, everybody knows where the good people go
But where we're going baby, ain't no such word as no
Baby, I'm your man (Don't you know who I am?)
Baby, I'm your man (You know, you bet)
If you're gonna do it, do it right (right)
Do it with me (uh-huh baby)
If you're gonna do it, do it right (right)
Do it with me (take me home)
If you're gonna do it, do it right (right)
Do it with me
If you're gonna do it, do it right (right)
Do it with me
First class information
(I'll be your) Sexual inspiration
And with some stimulation
We can do it right...
So why waste time, with the other guys?
When you can have mine
I ain't askin' for no sacrifice
Baby our friends do not need to know
I've got a real nice place to go
Listen
I don't need you to care
I don't need you to understand, yeah
All I want is for you to be there
And when I'm turned on, if you want me
I'm your man...
I'm your man'

I am really struggling with this thread. I'm really out of step! Happens to everyone obviously and you all know when it does it's really confusing!

1. Sexuality. Yes at 10/11 it's starting to bubble up. Who got fancy. Heterosexuality is still just totally the norm. So goes hardly noticed/ unremarked. Loads of girls that age and up have had crushes.

1. When did you all grow up? I was late 70s/ 80s. Not all this stuff about sex/ sexuality around for children? Seriously? I remember.

• HIV/AIDS govt public health messaging all over. Primetime TV. Of course children saw it. ALWAYS USE A CONDOM. I'm sure male/male imagery often and obv about sex. And quite right too. It was a killer for years. Devastating loss of young lives.
• Relax got 'banned' number one for ages. No they didn't show the video TOTP I'm pretty certain! But the band were on. All over the radio. Song is solely about orgasm. Complete with effort/ orgasm vocals from (the legend) Holly j.

• Smalltown boy huge hit. Amazing video. All about growing up gay in smaller community. Fancy boy at swimming. Get kicked in. Parents tearful goodbye move to city where going to be easier.

• like a virgin
• salt n Peppa let's talk about sex
• wham loads. I'm your man? Holy fuck!

Why the 'it wasn't like that in my day' stuff?

60s 70s just as bad!

You MUST know this surely?

It's the same. No different. Children are innocent. They sing the lyrics, wear the clothes, now they adopt the labels. The vast vast majority 10/ 12/ 14 even. They aren't like an adult. They don't get it. It's interesting, but all a bit nebulous.

There's no reason to see this any differently.

Saying it's too young to think about sexuality is homophobic.. Sorry that's the bottom line.

And for the vast vast majority it's the current youth culture. That's all.

If a child is v unhappy, neglected, being exposed to adult sexuality. Then as ever. It's s massive concern. And rightly so.

But that's not new either.

Who wants pre-pubescent children to identify with various sexual labels

There seem to be labels even for what people would regard as normal stages for children.. ie- not interested in anyone romantically at all. Not even thinking about it.

Being only attracted to people you have gotten to know amd learn about- ie what most people feel

As far as relationships go with children it's not realky going to be beyond friendship. In which case sex , gender etc ot doesn't matter of you click.as friends u click as friends.

But hey let's turn everything into a sexuality giving adults the excuse to talk to children abkut sex and sexuality. Which should realky be down to parents and not every organisation that children may or may not be involved with.

These long winded explanations amd very subtle differences will not really register with kids.

The take away will be that it's normal to have sex when you don't want to or that you have to be open to everyone as a partner or you are exclusionary.

Children don't realky need to mmpw luch beyond sometimes wonen marry women amd sometimes men marry men. Adults can marry the person they love etc

Anyone aware of all these extras , well they really should have their Internet usage monitored more closely or organisations are overstepping the boundaries

I've only seen "omnisexual" used about adults to describe that they're into anything that moves.
Who is telling children that this is an appropriate term for an 11 yo?
Who wants pre-pubescent children to identify with various sexual labels?
It reeks of grooming.

We all know the type of adults who seek to erode children's boundaries - they appear in court on a depressingly regular basis. It's so distressing that "good" but thoughtless people and organisations are unwittingly eroding children's boundaries. The use of age inappropriate behaviour, language, visual images used to be a massive red flag in safeguarding terms. No longer it appears.

I think it's good that kids no longer (or less often) think 'Oh God, maybe I'm gay, this is terrible' when they first have a crush on a mate of same sex, but also that deciding you're definitely some kind of other-sexual is also swinging a bit far the other way!

Wouldn't it be nice to have a world where the reaction to DD bringing home Bob/Sue/Zeus/Sam would be the same. "That's lovely dear, is your partner nice to you?" If yes, great. If not, unleash the fires of hell. But that's not the case currently.

*when I say 'at the milder end' I'm talking about between peers, not about paedos, obiviously that's not mild at all.

Re: grooming I am planning to talk to eldest about just because this is their scene, to be aware that not everyone is 'safe', ATM their social media is restricted to friends only but they will not remain the case as they get older and I can see that the LGBTQ+ scene among young teens can give unsavoury characters a new angle to get to kids.

I mean, at the milder end you know, you totally know, that IRL there are and will be men and boys who affect to be non-binary as the way of getting into a certain kind of girls/AFAB person's pants. And I want to make oldest aware of that as well.

@CheeseMmmm !

I think it's good that kids no longer (or less often) think 'Oh God, maybe I'm gay, this is terrible' when they first have a crush on a mate of same sex, but also that deciding you're definitely some kind of other-sexual is also swinging a bit far the other way!

I watched the latest series of The Babysitter's Club. And in it the character Dawn, who is 13, describes herself as being pansexual, she doesn't use that word but describes being open to all kinds of genders and every kind of person. However, the way she did it in the show, wasn't a case of her describing her sexuality it was out and out virtue signalling. It was like she was magnanimously announcing that she was accepting of all people and just a better, more generous person for it. And she is praised by her friend for her wonderful attitude.

And I worry that there is a bit of a push to slightly groom children, especially girls, to accept anyone and everyone as a potential lover. To make them feel like those who do are better people. Because that was a scene written by adults and instead of having a young teenager talk about how she finds herself attracted to boys and girls. They chose to have the most super woke character talk about her willingness to be open to anyone as a potential partner as an expression of her open mindedness. And it felt like a deliberate message to the audience, that good, kind aware people are willing to be sexually available to whoever.

These " inclusive" sexualities worry me.

Dating by its very nature is exclusionary. Of 99.9 percent of peope all the time.

11 yesr old should still be out playing. Not trying to define themselves with sexualities.

*Why the determination to assume the worst?

Anyone feel like trying to explain? I genuinely don't get it.*

I suppose it's the bluntness of the word "somethingsexual" coming out of a child's mouth. As if they are going to be using their immature genitals and having sexual intercourse. As though they already know what search term they would be under on a porn site. That there's already pressure to know what type of sex people have, and to choose and declare your allegiance, years before you would be having actual sex.

It's a level beyond what most people remember of the mild crushes at that age. Thinking both Kylie and Jason were pretty and smiley and that you wanted to hang out with both/either of them did not mean you were bisexual when I was a kid.

All the focus on sex and sexuality at such a young age shows just how sexualised children are these days. It’s the fixation and obsessing and the seeming need to have everyone publicly mark themselves. We forget that these are not adults.

They have not even gone thru puberty. It’s not about being straight or gay, it’s that children are fixated on sexual things younger and younger and this is usually a red flag. But for some reason we are acting like this is nothing to be concerned about.

Of course children have crushes at this age. But for children to be so fixated on labeling who they are attracted to at such a young age is really sad. They should be outside playing in nature with friends and just enjoying being children.

It seems as is childhood no longer exists and children don’t have any period of life except for being an actual baby where sex does not permeate their life. Very very sad… and disturbing.

It’s all so sad. It’s natural for teenagers to want to “belong” to a tribe but in my day it was music which most teenagers defind themselves by. How did we get to the point where 10 year olds are talking and thinking so much about sex.