Critic my Letter to DD school regards LGBT club

Any news yet OP?

Singing! Charity work! Film club (well shorts - or sitcom club)! Radio! Writing/comedy club!

Loads of things they will actually enjoy - because these rainbow leagues seem to make the kids bloody miserable.

Dance! Keep fit/80s aerobics (that would be a hoot).

Hmmmm. When DS wanted a particular activity he planned a club and went to a teacher to propose it and they did run it.

Knitting! I remember doing knitting! The boy did board games, Japanese and various sports and some history and poetry clubs.

Arts, crafts, board games, art appreciation, jewellery making, Latin, manga drawing, baking, school newspaper, entrepreneur club, debating club, keep fit/nutrition, school council, junior UN, politics, history/archaeology, travel, drawing, pottery, home brew (joke but out biology teacher did brew booze in his office) crikey there are a million things non-rainbow related where the kids would have fun, learn something and get a hobby...

It's no wonder the kids come to think that somehow, this must be the most important thing about them.

I think you should set up a meeting to discuss exactly what is being discussed in these meetings. If your daughter is under any pressure to decide her sexuality, that is not on. If sex is discussed, that is not on. Those things need to be addressed.

The problem is the people running these clubs do not think this is the message they are giving out.

What they are saying is not what the kids understand. They don't have the same experiences as an adults and their sexuality is still immature. And frankly it's not just the younger ones, it's often true of the older ones.

The adults are not necessarily all that much more on the ball, so why should they be giving guidance on these things?

I can understand a club where they play a particular game (chess, board games) or do a sport or hobby... but a club based on sex stereotypes and gender? These kids really need to get an interest that doesn’t involve social media and their own belly buttons...

I hope you get a response and a meeting on the back of the letter. What clubs do they have open to children with SEN and/or social anxiety? Lunchtimes are really hard when you are outside a social group and vulnerable. I used to hide in the homework room as somewhere warm and relatively safe. My son had the SEN hub which was better than being attacked by the lockers. I am sure he would have gone along to a non-sporty club at lunchtime to keep warm and not get his head kicked in, I know I would have.

A huge safeguarding red flag with that range of ages and I think the comparison to a heterosexual club is very valid. There is no way a club with 11 to 18 year old linked to heterosexuality would get approved. I completely understand the sense of isolation young lgbt children are going through, l was at school when the age of consent was 21 still and the young lads, who were a couple had an awful time when it became common knowledge. Young people with ASD are so vulnerable as emotionally behind their NT peers. This club is just badly thought out and not something school should operate, puts the school in an extremely risky position from safeguarding especially as awareness of peer on peer abuse a real focus at present.

This makes me so cross - the inclusive agenda that is pushed by certain teachers within schools then passed off as "student led." I worry that children and teenagers are being manipulated - they are impressionable and the trend is being given credibility. As a parent when you voice a concern you are supposedly bigoted - I just hope the tide turns soon

How bloody awful; I'd be livid with the school that this was done without consultation with parents. At a time when so many kids feel confused and pressured to be woke or bi or sexy or gender different.

   Can you suggest to your daughter   " You don't need to make any decisions at all about   your sexuality. The reason you don't have those feelings  yet  is because  you' re not an adult yet.  When your body is ready  for those feelings  it will tell you, and your heart will   just know. "

Seems to cover it all. Well done.

I am a school governor and would certainly have serious concerns about this. The subject of sexuality should be discussed in a formal lesson with suitably qualified and vetted staff. It should not be discussed in an apparently school-generated and sanctioned extra-curricular group without proper supervision and without permission from parents.

Clearly these things will be under discussion in the playground, but that is a whole different ball game to an official school group.

It is particularly worrying as the incidence of transgender feelings is far more common amongst those on the autistic spectrum and your DD is likely to be susceptible to pressure on this matter, before she is able to deal with this.

I hope that you manage to get some satisfactory outcome to all this - although to some extent the damage is done it would seem.

I do think that some staff are so keen to be seen to be inclusive that some of the subtleties go out of the window.

I would demand that your child is excluded from the club immediately based on her autism - children with autism usually develop their sexuality a few years after neurotypical children. She will also be highly suggestible regarding gender identity and is more likely to have issues with her developing body (can’t cope with change so well). On top of that once she has made a decision it will be hard to change her mind (black and white thinking). I would be extremely anxious that she will choose a trans gender identity.

I’m so sick of this shit. This constant pushing of discussions round sexuality to KIDS. My own dd - also autistic, also exhibited anxiety around what sexuality she might be at that age, also the flags etc etc. I think the flag thing is actually quite sinister and aimed directly at children - all those pretty colours and symbolism. Very concerned that it wasn’t apparent yet what sexuality she was and was there something wrong with her because she didn’t know yet? what if she was lesbian, maybe asexual given that she didn’t really fancy anyone yet, also she thought some girls were really pretty did that mean she was Bi? It went on for months. She was robustly told repeatedly that at 12 she wasn’t needing to “fancy” anyone or know what her sexuality was and gradually it tapered off. She’s 15 now and largely past it. My point is that this stuff is being forced into children who are not equipped to deal with it because they’re too young and don’t have the thinking skills for it, and it’s causing them massive anxiety.

Leave the kids alone FFS!

Great letter though OP. Will look forward to seeing what they say.

Today we have just had the report come from the autism specialist we paid to assess her and make recommendations to help her whilst in school, it's heart breaking to read, DH has just come in read it and I've told him what I've been up to, which has resulted in him crying and making me cry as he says what fucking chance does she have? Why did we bring her into this world?

OP I'm raging that your daughter hasn't received the support that she needs. This is heartbreaking to read.

[quote DoubleTweenQueen]@Darhon No-one is over-reacting, certainly not with the children, but questioning school over clear breaches of safeguarding, with evidence.

I think you are in danger of an element of complacency, which is worryingly.present in those who work with children, including teachers and senior school management, and their unions.[/quote]
I agree.

When we talk about grooming concerns, we're talking about the normalising of adult-child sexual talk. Even if the adult in question is well intentioned and not themselves a paedophile, the child is left more vulnerable to abuse by paedophiles because sexual talk with adults has been normalised.

The other huge concern with these groups is that they're not necessarily the safe space for girls that they purport to be. They are extremely likely to preach gender ideology, meaning that any girls with an emergent homosexual sexuality will be having their boundaries eroded from the offset.

That said I understand why young girls are drawn to these groups and to declarations of non-binary and asexual identities. I imagine they seem safer than the porn soaked alternative.

@Darhon No-one is over-reacting, certainly not with the children, but questioning school over clear breaches of safeguarding, with evidence.

I think you are in danger of an element of complacency, which is worryingly.present in those who work with children, including teachers and senior school management, and their unions.