I've just found out that our 12 year old autistic DD has been attending a lunch time LGBT club and now tells me she is bisexual, (apparently she needs choose what she is) & suddenly obsessively drawing flags on everything including herself.
She has been exhibiting worsening ticks like pulling her hair really tight and lip licking until above her mouth is sore & finger sucking.
She suddenly has a friend who identifies as a boy as well (I don't care if our daughter is straight, gay or whatever) but I'm worried what has been discussed, she's 12 hasn't gone through puberty yet and shows limited comprehension regarding relationships, she doesn't need to worry about this, or be considering any kind of sexual relationship.
This has left her confused and clearly anxious, I'm beyond livid to see her distress especially as the school are not doing much about her being massively behind and clearly academically struggling.
So help me by looking at the draft wording for a letter to the head of year and the safe guarding lead.
Dear
I writing to you to raise my concerns regarding the school's lunch time LGBT club, which my daughter informs me is open to children in all year groups. Whilst it is admirable the school wish to support pupils, it is inappropriate that sexuality is discussed in a mixed age group.
My daughter who is autistic and vulnerable has recently been attending with her friend, this has left her confused and anxious with her exhibiting increased ticks, some of which are boarding on harmfull.
She tells me that she now needs to choose what sexuality she is and has become anxious she doesn't have a boyfriend or particularly have any sexual feelings towards boys, this has led her to become very distressed culminating in her deciding she must be bisexual. Even though she feels no attraction to girls. She has then obsessively been drawing flags on herself and with her notebooks.
Prior to attending the LGBT club she had never exhibited any of this anxiety around her sexuality, rightly so as she is 12 years old and still in the very early stages of puberty, therefore she should not be considering sex.
I am unclear what is discussed at this club but the mixed age group is clearly a safeguarding issue a 16/17/18 year old should never be talking to a 12 year old about sex or sexuality these age groups have quite different needs and comprehension. This massive difference between young and older teens is recognised in PHSE guidance hence why children are given age appropriate information. They also appears to be no pastoral or any other kind of support attached to this club which is present when PHSE is taught as part of the curriculum, neither was I aware of this club or my daughter attending it until she suddenly became distressed.
There also appears to have been no consideration for children like my daughter who have a disability that disadvantages her compared to her peers.The difficulties in understanding intentions, missing social subtleties, limited peer interactions and often lower emotional age, means that children with autism require more support or they risk misunderstand important information regarding sex and relationships.
I await your response on this matter.
Not sure if I should put less about the distress and confusion she's been exhibiting. Once this letter had gone I'll be raising the stonewall & mermaids links they have on their LGBT web page using safe school alliance templates/advice.