what will it mean to you if we lose the word "mother"

We used to say people with AIDS, now we say HIV. We used to say cripples, now we say physically disabled. I'm not saying these weren't good changes but I'm just pointing out how easily (and how quickly) terminology can fall out of fashion.

Wr have a post on here asking women to support a March for Midwives. The post mentions the word mother only twice - and always in conjunction with birthing people.

When it talks about women's issues in childbirth, it says: "Parents that are damaged by either too much medical intervention or, conversely, falling through the cracks and not receiving the medical care they need."

It isn't parents who are damaged. It's women. It's mother's. It's only women because only women can be mothers.

Language matters.

I agree that policy and official documents should use mother not birthing parent etc and that certainly should be campaigned for.

But I don't think there's any danger of losing mother in everyday language.

Eg my brother says he's non binary but no one in my family (apart from my almost as ridiculous younger brother) refers to him as they/them when he comes up in family news/ conversation etc.

I don't think the average person on the street will even know this is going on.

Again, I'm not saying it shouldn't be challenged in official language but I honestly don't think it will be going anywhere soon

“No one is actually stopping you using the word”

Of course this is right, it will be perfectly fine in the privacy of our own homes, behind closed doors and not in front of the children.

It is the erasure of women in any and all aspects of society that I find disturbing.

Every living creature has a mother. Every single human who has ever existed was birthed by a woman.

The blatant disrespect of motherhood is in a way blasphemous. To erase and scrub out the very reason you exist is in itself so obscene and horrendous that I can only imagine that the end goal is to place women into an even lower category. “The unnecessary and unnamed “.

In history the enemies of the current ruler would sometimes be wiped from all records of history.

The only woman pharaoh of Egypt for example. Hatshepsut was erased from history.. a Damnatio memoriae was carried out against her. And the same is happening for women.

If you are unnamed and unnecessary then any and everything can be done to you. You don’t matter. If we think the abuse women and girls suffer is bad now, well you haven’t seen anything yet ladies!

It cannot and should not be allowed to happen.

I agree 100% with your beautifully expressed post, OP.
(I may need to copy and paste that in to my notes on my phone, to read at happy/tricky/sad times.)

It won't be lost because we will continue to use the word mother, in the correct way.

The same for the words women and girl and female.

If the users of the words continue to use them then they won't be lost.

Hilarious notion upthread that the word 'mother' was being written out of govt. and health documents because it was 'politically incorrect'.
It's a fully inclusive term, 'gender' neutral but (obviously, when used in reference to someone who had given birth) necessarily sex specific.

And, as we've seen in the last few days, the head of stonewall also personally values the word mother and they're backtracking on their ludicrous advice.

Wow. Your post is beautiful. Even if they try to erase the word we still have the feeling, the knowledge and the emotion just as you've described. Nobody can take that from us.

Loved your post and found it very moving, thank you OP. We have a lot to fight for, and we're just doing it to stand still

OP, your description of motherhood is beautiful and so heartfelt. Thank you

Thank you for the lovely post that helps articulate many of our feelings on this at least 15000yr old word! I have no knowledge of history so I am not sure how much older than that the concept of mother is!! Fortunately my lack of general knowledge does not matter too much to my children who adore me and will also never give up calling me their mum. They are strong girls who I very much hope will fight this with me, if they still have to. I am working my way through the Nolan podcast which is frankly wonderful. So affirming to have all the shit you knew to be terrifying, articulated back in such a clear way.

Stonewall has dropped guidance advising groups on its workplace schemes to remove the word “mother” from their policies.
The Times yesterday

This is called political correctness, it’s being going on since at least the 1960’s...

I don’t think it’s comparable to what I suspect you are talking about - use of derogatory language when a perfectly good neutral alternative exists.

This is the elimination of the neutral alternative, and therefore the concept that the word represents - the idea that a distinct female reproductive function exists and that therefore women need specific rights and services. If anything that is right wing.

According to research at the University of Reading, ‘Mother’ is known as one of 23 earliest known words across a whole group of languages and is about 15,000 years old.

Dog is in the same list of 23😀

35,000 years BCE is the oldest mother goddess in this group of ancient examples

Nothing - because I’m just not giving it up.

Why the hell should I - for a small number of people who won’t ever carry or birth a child to feel, what? For people who think it’s dandy to disrespect their own mothers and grandmothers like that (but not their old men?)

I find it hard to believe this question was even asked on a politically left leaning board, oh irony of ironies. What will it mean if a word that is commonly used and understood drops out of common usage because it excludes or offends some people?

This is called political correctness, it’s being going on since at least the 1960’s... Many words that were commonly used along time ago are not acceptable now. This is a process that the left started and it doesn’t stop as there is no logical end point to it that I can see, because I can’t imagine a day will ever come where the language in use will never offend someone for some reason.

If people believe that they have the right to not be offended then they won’t stay quite when language offends them, they’ll demand others change their language and likely eventually get their way as most mainstream media and most institutions accept the idea that people should not be offended or feel excluded by others language even if it is just a small number of people who are offended or feel excluded. New Labour really cemented this idea into society.

If you voted for parties in favour of political correctness you can’t be surprised and complain that we now have language policing and political correctness. I have no idea if the word mother will disappear from common usage or not. But some words will, new words will emerge and this process won’t stop. But I guess that is only a problem when it’s changes you don’t like? When others were being hectored for their language in the past that was all fine and dandy. Leftists got what leftists voted for :)

love the user name ColinRobinsonsFart. I’m sure he frequents these boards!

I am a mother
I became a mother just after my 19th birthday. I was an androgynous punk - it was all a bit of a shock. I lost my DDs twin just before their birth. I nearly lost my life and it’s a miracle DD is here nearly 40 yrs later.
I was a single mum of one for four years until I had DD 2 - again I nearly died. DD2 has SEN. I ended up in a mother and baby unit with Post natal psychosis.

So I have fought for my life, fought for my mental health, fought for my childrens rights….

And I will fucking fight for the word Mother….

What a wonderful post op! And I’ve learned that they have left some of their Y chromosome in me, how cool is that, they are a little part of me and I’m a little part of them!

Beautifully put OP.

Once you are a mother you will be a mother forever.
And you will never be free from fear again.

That's just so beautiful OP and exactly how I feel in words too. Nobody had better dare take that from me.

Beautiful words

We would lose the language to talk about the impact of the female reproductive role.

I think the word ‘mother’ should be gender neutral, but reproduction is not sex neutral.