"Ace week" in girl guiding.

@WarriorN
”and finally Yasmin again in her lingerie with breasts hanging out
Confusing to say the least.”

I realise this was a quote from someone else, but I think it’s important to point out that there is nothing confusing at all about a woman wearing clothing that is perceived to be ‘sexy’ while saying she does not want - or is not interested in - sex. She can wear whatever she wants to without any conclusions being drawn about her interest (or otherwise) in having sex.

OK, for all those discussing asexuality in an adult context.

www.healthline.com/health/inhibited-sexual-desire

I actually googled it as I wanted to educate myself and I really don’t want to offend anyone.

It seems that there is ACE (asexuality =lack of sexual attraction, classified as an orientation) and ISD (inhibited sexual desire, which can have serious underlying causes, mental health, physical etc).

The first should clearly be respected and made more visible. The second needs to be investigated. There can be serious consequences if untreated..

I think is seems important to raise awareness of the co-existence of both. Nobody ACE should be made to feel misunderstood or harassed, but equally, nobody ISD (or HSDD) should be denied investigation and treatment. ISD can be serious and harmful.

And I maintain, this is a discussion for adults. No random adult should initiate any sexual discussion with children who are primary school aged. This should only be done by parents or in PSHE under safeguarding controls.

I think the misunderstandings among adults on this very thread shows how complex this is. Any discussion with children should be extremely controlled. The potential for misunderstandings is huge.

Would you agree @MumofAceDD? I am so happy your daughter is doing better btw.

There is constant social media trend to identify as something coupled with the vast amount of information/disinformation/blogs etc etc about the physical side of boy/girls relationships. I think many girls have been both frightened on what they think a relationship will require but feel that they can't articulate this thereby labelling themselves as asexual.

I partly think that choosing the label of asexual is fine as long it involves no more than that . We live in a time which is totally confusing for adults so teenagers must be totally flummoxed.

As for the GG - I don't think this should be on thier websites or social media platforms.

Is this stuff being pushed in the Scouts as well? Why does it always seem to be Girl Guides? I can't help but think they are being targeted because of the idea that girls are more open to being accepting, are 'kinder', more malleable, less likely to say 'no'.......

Its not really about whether asexuality exists, its about how the concepts will be twisted to pressurise and abuse children into sex.

So kids who are being abused can now be told their lack of "enjoyment" is normal, because they are obviously just asexual.

If I was part of the asexual community I'd want to be damn sure that things being taught in "my name" were actually correct and couldn't be twisted in any way.

[quote PumpkinGin]@MumofAceDD

Your daughter sounds wonderful. I don’t think anybody is saying anything about whatever her sexuality is. Of course children should be aware of different sexualities and feel validated.

My only point, which I keep reiterating, is that this discussion should only be initiated under very specific circumstances and subject to safeguarding restrictions.

Don’t you see that you and I are on the same page here?

You know exactly how you want advice your daughter to act, based on your knowledge of your daughter, don’t you?

Would you want any poster here who talks about fetishisation of your daughter’s sexuality to discuss this with her? Would you want them to initiate this discussion?

As parents, we know what is best for our children. Based on our knowledge of our children. Random adults should stay away from other people’s children.[/quote]
My daughter is a young adult, now at university. So I do not have any control over who she speaks to. I do know that she clocked another person in her halls wearing an ace ring, but I don’t know how much it comes into her conversations or daily life. When she was a child, then I did have some control over which clubs and activities she did (did not include GG) because I was paying, but it was her choice in the end.

My personal view is that social media is toxic and that I agree that there does not need to be discussion of sexuality outside SRE for children, but of course it spills over into the playground and outside school, so SRE should be inclusive as well as safe. My objection on this thread was to the casual prejudice throughout about asexuality. It is possible to make valid points about the place or not of sexuality in organisations without belittling or demeaning asexual people.

And the fact remains more broadly that in our culture there is little to no representation of asexual characters in culture, by which I am referring to the vast array of media that adults consume. So to that extent I agree with greater awareness and less prejudice.

I bet "I'm asexual" was the last excuse girls could legitimately use for a while, if they didn't want sex with somebody, hence the current push of "you can be asexual and still have sex". It's as rapey as being told to rethink your "prejudices".

I'm sure we have all met and know asexual people and I'm also sure that whilst they won't have suffered the same sort of prejudices gay people have suffered that they will have had to put up with being say the office weirdo; the cold fish; the sad spinster

I am all those ^ but I'm not asexual. So what? I do not live my life thinking that others must validate me or always be nice to me. I give no shits what they say about me behind my back (their opinion of me is none of my business) and if they were rude enough to say it to my face I answer in many different ways from humour to anger to sarcasm depending on who says what to me.
And lastly if the worst someone has ever had is mean words said directly to them then they are very very lucky.

But this seems like another groups issues are being taken over by the MRAs and fetishists once again.

Ugh. Teaching young girls that not wanting/enjoying sex means they are asexual is a groomers dream come true.

[quote NoNotMeNoSiree]@vinsurvin
Great post, I'm not asexual but found it really informative[/quote]
Any comments on the minimisation of children "having sex" in the other post?

When my daughter displayed overtly sexualised behaviour it was an immediate red flag to me. It was a delicate conversation as she didn't know what she was doing wasn't normal for her primary age. After some probing it turns out she had been 'reading' pornographic magazines in her dad's bathroom when on contact.

If children are inappropriately touch other children in primary then this is a red flag, I'm gobsmacked some people think this is normal behaviour at that just because a few girls may have started puberty!

Children have 'boyfriends' and 'girlfriends' at primary school. It's an unfortunate truth that children are having sex or experimenting with sexual touching while still at primary school.

Just reiterating here that children 'having sex' is abuse and rape.

I have many many thoughts which I'm not going to mention here. But I will say I feel for the tween and teen girls who, surrounded by our now hyper-sexualised, pornified culture, and so much pressure to service males, even if they don't wat all want to, even if the act is repugnant to them or physically injures them.

And then they think they can find some safety in identifying as Asexual, only to then very quickly be informed that no. That escape's cut off at the pass too. It's almost like certain people. with certain vested interests already thought of that one and planned ahead-

Because now, ""Being Ace just means not experiencing sexual attraction to [any of the 7.8b genders] but they can still have sex with people"
and
"But lots of asexuals have lots of sex and they just love it and you can be an asexual aro-poly-am lesbian and also..." .

It's like an infinite range of flags and identities and sexual preferences identifying as orientations but is there even one sacred Identity or ""orientation"" which, must be respected as all the others, and allows teenage girls and young women to be left in peace to do their own thing?

Without being nagged day & night about how they should probably be available to penis all the time bc otherwise they're mean/causing blueballs/man-haters/t*rfs/sex-neg/not empowerrrred etc?

[yes I am v.pissed tf off, at adults who need to just leave kids alone]

@vinsurvin
Great post, I'm not asexual but found it really informative

Katie - I think that. YL do have to do safe space level 1 now.

They have to do level 1 and 2.

The current CEO of Girlguiding has a very clear agenda that she’s very clearly pushing…