@KaycePollard
And it drives me crazy when anyone uses examples like my mother as women do it too.
Absolutely @BloodinGutters 98% of sexual crime is committed by men.
And I'd bet that a fair proportion of the tiny minority of women who are charged or convicted of sexual crimes were or are abused themselves - either as children, or through an abusive/coercive relationship with a man.
It is a real difference between the sexes, statistically speaking.
I don’t think being abused as a child has any bearing on it.
The official stats I think are that 1 in 8 kids who are abused go on to become abusers, and those studies were all male (the ones I’ve seen, it’s been a while to be fair). The ones I had seen were also always selective groups of males, like males in residential schools, which may not be representative of all men. And certainly isn’t at all representative of women at all.
The common pattern when a child is abused is revictimisation not to pose any risk of abusing children, in fact most of us end up working in areas that helps survivors in some way.
I’ve known one woman who ‘let’ her daughter be abused by her own father and grandfather, who had also abused her as a child. But while the mother wasn’t technically a victim of there’s as an adult she was hugely vulnerable still due to her mh problems from the abuse and from some ld also. So she was very dependant on her father and grandfather and likely less able to face that the abuse she suffered at their hands was now happening to her daughter.
It’s what 1 in 4 girls who will be sexually abused before turning 16, yet women only make up less than two % of all sex crimes? So it doesn’t add up that being abused could have any effect on adult women abusing children.
My own mother had a horrific childhood, watched her abusing alcoholic father get murdered by her brother, but wasn’t sexually abused, unlike many of her siblings (they were also her mother and aunts as she’s a child born of incest). But she became a social worker and had no addiction problems herself, likely had npd but not diagnosed, and never faced any violence or abuse in her adult life that I ever saw. All of the abuse she let happen to me was because she invited these men into our lives/house to get access to me. They never lived with us, the house was always hers, she was never without a job or car or food in the cupboards, or a support circle who she had believing she was perfect (it was a lot like she was a cult leader tbh). She did it because she wanted to, because she saw me as an object, an extension of her to use as she pleased, because she enjoyed the power over me and the appearance of power she got over men she used me to attract.
Her reasons were no different to men who rape. Women who are predators like this are every bit as evil as the ted bundy’s of the world. It’s just that women like my mother are very very very rare. And the men like her aren’t that unusual.