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Original poster

Losing friends, feeling defeated

93 replies

Youdonthavetobegood · 28/10/2021 15:11

This is a lot of your experiences I guess, but I've been following and reading GC stuff for a few months now and have got more and more angry.

I have a couple of good friends who both work in universities, and like a fool, I mentioned my thoughts on the BBC article to them (basically how depressing it was that lesbians being raped is somehow 'propeganda' against trans, rather than called out as abuse.)

Anyway we've had a falling out. I kind of knew they were TWAW, which I respected, but they are also feminists so their reaction has really shocked me, all for signing a letter against the article because it was 'hateful', and the strong implication was that I was a transphobe. Honestly I'm feeling fairly disillusioned about it all. I need to step away for a bit I think. But my inner feminist its just so furious about it, that I can't.

Not much point to this post other than - can I be friends with you? Am I the only one in their 30s who thinks this? am i out of step? why isn't there a middle ground? fucks sake!

OP posts:
MrMrsJones · 28/10/2021 15:45

I have joined resistors on FB and its good.

I will be your friend as I feel very alone at the moment. However times ARE changing and light I shinning and we will get through this 🙏

Original poster
Youdonthavetobegood · 28/10/2021 15:44

@CorrBlimeyGG

Do you think you might be reading biased sources, hence your 'anger'? If your friends are distancing from you, they're not doing so without good reason. Time for some reflection.
I've tried to read critically across the board, as I'm not immune to my own biases, and I know that I can't reasonably know what it's like to be trans in the UK (they aren't trans either but they move in more.... university circles than I do).

But now it feels like they are actively anti-woman. Which is hard to take.

OP posts:
BatmansBat · 28/10/2021 15:43

Corr, do you think it is wrong to be upset that young women are raped and pressured into sex?

Should this be hushed up?

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 28/10/2021 15:42

@CorrBlimeyGG

Do you think you might be reading biased sources, hence your 'anger'? If your friends are distancing from you, they're not doing so without good reason. Time for some reflection.
Biased how do you think?
NecessaryScene · 28/10/2021 15:42

People are frightened of not looking 'nice' and 'kind'.

So frightened they're prepared to be extremely unpleasant. Confused

CorrBlimeyGG · 28/10/2021 15:37

Do you think you might be reading biased sources, hence your 'anger'? If your friends are distancing from you, they're not doing so without good reason. Time for some reflection.

BatmansBat · 28/10/2021 15:36

Hi OP, many here thinks the way you do.

Do your friends have children? The way they teach this in schools seem to make children confused, conform more to sex stereotypes and even come out with homophobic comments.

I have yet to come across a parent are not is upset about a recent school session.

Your friends may come around.

digitalvertigo · 28/10/2021 15:34

Just in my 30s and I think this too! People are frightened of not looking 'nice' and 'kind'.

Babdoc · 28/10/2021 15:33

I’m in my 60s, and a radfem since the 1970s. My DD, aged 32, is an ardent GC campaigner, has addressed street meetings, runs a GC FB group, and has many GC friends. So not all the young are captured by the anti science woo brigade! Take heart, OP.
If you need a boost, just read the comments under any Times article about trans issues- they are usually almost 100% GC.

Original poster
Youdonthavetobegood · 28/10/2021 15:32

Thanks, I'll look up resisters, they sound up my street.

I think what I find hard is feeling very sure of my views when I'm on my own, but then face with other people (like my friends) who act like I've just thrown the N word into conversation, then I start to doubt my own non-hatefulness. If that makes sense. I've never had anything but right-on Guardianesque views on stuff, so it feels strange to suddenly start agreeing with Tory MPs. Which convinces me that I must be wrong about my opinion! And round it goes!

OP posts:
SoniaFouler · 28/10/2021 15:28

I am in my 30s also.

SoniaFouler · 28/10/2021 15:28

I despair when hearing things like this but also personally thankful for my own situation. I have a family member who is ardently TWAW and TMAM. I strongly disagree. We are on completely different sides of the coin, as we were and are with Brexit, but remain nothing but loving and respectful to each other despite us knowing we have completely opposite views. I also have a friend who agrees with me on the trans debate but opposes me on Brexit but it (AFAIK) hasn’t affected our friendship. I’m glad I’m not friends with, or haven’t yet ran into anybody in real life with a NO DEBATE viewpoint.

Bancha · 28/10/2021 15:21

Had to post to say I’m in my 30s and I agree with you. It can be really lonely sometimes. I have to take time away from it as well.

Diaryofamadwoman · 28/10/2021 15:20

Join the club. It's just aswell we've been forced into the bunker since 2020 because it coincided with the time my friends started shoehorning how much terfs aren't real feminists into every conversation.

It's horrible. The damage this is doing.

Catnuzzle · 28/10/2021 15:19

Ah, found them. My local one has had their twitter feed suspended Angry

dropthevipers · 28/10/2021 15:18

I dont think there can be a middle ground. On the one hand you have a few very noisy batshit mentalists who buy into the gender woo woo bollocks, and then you have everyone else. I do wonder if the Staniland question was put to everyone what the percentages would be? 90%

Catnuzzle · 28/10/2021 15:16

What us Resisters? Sounds like it might be for me! You can be my friend too. TWATW.

EishetChayil · 28/10/2021 15:12

You can certainly be friends with me!

Is there a ReSisters group in your city or town? I've made some great gender critical friends through mine.